The stares, the heightened mental state, the security when you speak, etc.
The thing is that you need to work for all of that: Instead of watching porn videos, you hit the gym EVERY DAY. Instead of watching porn videos, you STUDY.
You get the point, The key is to CHANGE your bad habits with new ones: Going to school everyday, reading, learning.
There will come a time when the wet dreams will come, and then you’ll want to get the feeling again. Don’t.
Find your weaknesses and work against them. Don’t put yourself bad situations that can grow into bad seasons. Get yourself out of the bad days with RIGHT ACTION.
Hope the best for all of you, keep working, keep improving but you will not achieve anything sitting here browsing reddit.
Some of you awesome Fapstronauts are asking me two things:
- What does “always be shipping” means: For developers and artists in general it means that you must always be creating stuff. Always delivering on whats promised to yourself or everyone. Always creating and actually finishing and showing it to the world. A constant cycle of creation that makes you improve your craft. Hope its clear now. Here’s a blog post where its explained better http://blog.codinghorror.com/yes-but-what-have-you-done/
- What books do I recommend:
- The obstacle is the way by Ryan Holiday – Harden yourself and conquer your emotions.
- The art of seduction by Robert Greene – THE book about seduction
- Models: Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson – Read after seduction to contrast your view on girls and manipulations.
- How to Win Friends and Influence People – To be more social
- The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business – To know how habits are formed
On Friday I completed the 90 day Hard Mode detox on NoFap and here is what I found:
- Like I said before confidence boost, Improved appearance, stares from girls and respect from men are real. They where there from day 30 onwards. Eventually they where normal so I stopped noticing and the lift from the first few weeks stopped.
- Changing my bad habit of staying indoors helped, I now changed my shape for the better. People are calling me “the muscle guy” and that happened because I didn’t stopped going to the gym for 90 days (minus rest day)
- Stopped smoking and drinking a lot of alcohol, eating well also improved when I introduced the habit of exercise.
- On day 35 or so I was on the peak of confidence and noticed a girl that always stared at me in class. Started talking to her and in like two weeks I got her to sleep with me (without O) and now we are really good friends. I really like and respect her.
- Started a new lifelong habit of personal growth where I’m now reading a lot of books and making side projects to learn more.
- Thanks to NoFap I improved my concentration and motivation to study and I improved my grades a lot.
- I’m in control of my thoughts and feelings. Now able to think a lot clearer.
- Created 2 college clubs to talk about habit formation and business and meet 6 new very good type A friends that are my 10’s in the “you are the average of the people you surround yourself with”
- Stopped thinking about my ex girlfriend (spent 8 years with her but broke this past march) She is one of the motivators for my change. I want to prove myself that what she said about me (that I was a loser, etc) Is not true.
- Read 8 books from the start of the detox to the end
- Had sex without O 1 time with a new beautiful girl
- 6 new great friends
- -2 old bad relationships
- Made 4 side projects to learn to code
- 3 new habits (reading, gym, meditation)
- -2 bad habits (PMO, Smoking)
Another perspective on life is possible. One where you don’t feel like shit every day, one where you are not thinking on constant suicidal stuff and where you feel as if everyone is doing better than you.
Now Im Feeling really awesome and surrounded by people who see the awesomeness in me.
Next steps/ Things I will do different this time around:
“EVERYTHING in excess is poisonous” I’ve decided to reset my badge today at night after a “present” FAP, I no longer feel it as an addiction but I will handle it with respect and care. After that I will implement a new rule where I will not FAP until the double of days I had before (Next FAP will be on the streak day 184).
No hard mode now. I will O when I have sex with the next girls that come into my life BUT will not make that a priority:
- Just focused on Learning, personal growth and working on my SaaS. Graduation coming this next semester and I need to be focused on achieving my lifegoal: financial freedom to do anything I want.
- From the last step, I will not look for girls or chase them around like this time. (A lot of feelings and energy is used to achieve that and I need to focus on really improving my life).
- No watching porn ever again.
- Meditation is reintroduced more seriously
- More seriousness in my relationships and more humble.
- Gym as part of my life now. When I achieve my desired figure I will just maintain it
- Healthier eating
- Frugal, simpler, not consumer focused lifestyle.
- Always keep moving
- Do more
- This too shall pass
- The impediment to action advances action what blocks the way becomes the way
- Stay busy
- Always be shipping
- Learn more
- Don’t look back in anger.
- Do the right thing
- Be humble.