So today is 90, hurray! I don’t have super powers but I do feel a bit more authentic and a lot of past things (HOCD intrusive thoughts, obsessions in general) have gone away.
Some new things have arrived though (anger particularly, but also seeing women in a different light).
I feel more in tune to the people I speak to I think, or at least I am making efforts to.
LINK – 90 Days. No superpowers yet, but more real?
UPDATE – 180 Days. Report.
So I’d love to rattle off all the superpowers I have and how amazing my life has become since I have abandoned pornography/PMO. But it won’t be super sunshineee and rainbowy. Don’t get me wrong, there are some great things but also some very real things. In the very least, this journey will get real for everyone. Whatever is hiding under the shiny sheen of pixelated sex, you will awaken it, it may be scary, but it is your shit and no one else can face it for you. For those of us (I imagine most) who use porn to cover the past/pain/boredom, this won’t be easy to face.
Please note that i have MANY co-morbid occurrences of other shit in my life, namely PTSD and OCD, so read on knowing that.
Things I have learned and noticed:
- Therapy has gotten harder.
- Sex w/partner has become different. More real, but also can be scary w/intimacy and such. See #3.
- Intimacy is scary as all hell.
- Sleep problems persist
- Trying to also ditch videogames, that is helping too.
- Want to be more authentic/real.
- I am pursuing more useful activities and career goals.
- I am so insecure.
- Getting outside is so good for you.
These are just some things I have noticed on my journey at 180 days. Again, we are all so different, there is no perfect path down this. I think it is overall the absolute best thing to do as a man prone to addiction, but it will not be easy/same for dude 1 and dude 2.
tl;dr: NoFap is good. Hard. Different for everyone. Not all sunshine and rainbows.