Well, I reached 90 days! I never really thought this would happen but I think the one thing that’s kept me going is knowing that fapping is not going to solve my problems. Every time I think of relapsing, I always think “I’ve been there, I know where it leads”
So how have things changed? I’ll probably disappoint many people by saying that my life hasn’t changed an awful lot. I think that fapping was just an escape mechanism for my life and emotional problems, take away the fapping and the problems are still there.
There have been some benefits though:
- I’m able to look people in the eye and greet them without feeling ashamed of myself, I even find myself initiating conversations with complete strangers.
- I’m getting morning erections again – Not every day, but at least I know things are still working down there.
Most of it has been pretty tough going though, probably more due to having no escape from my emotions. I’ve been extremely irritable, stressed and angry, have real issues sleeping and keep finding myself comfort eating and other things as a substitute for fapping. I’m not quite sure this is a “flatline” or just all this emotional baggage coming to the surface.
On a positive note, I’ve started learning Spanish through duolingo, I might also try and get some audio stuff for when I’m in the car. I’m going to pick up the guitar again as well.
I really need to join the gym and do some exercise; I really think it will get my stress levels down. I think I have a lot of “nice guy” issues that need sorting out as well.
TLDR – Done 90 days hard mode – Finding life just as tough, but sort of think I know what needs to be done to sort my life out.
LINK – 90 Day report