I crossed 90 days for the first time after trying for over a year, beating my previous best of 38 days by quite a margin. The biggest benefit is improvements to my demeanor/body language and small talk becoming much, much easier.
Where I used to overthink and hesitate during conversation I now just say the first thing I think of. I smile much more often now, it is becoming my default expression because I feel so damn good about myself most of the time. It has made me more approachable. I get smiles back from girls and that can make my day.
I am very successful in some areas of life but I am behind in others. I used to wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety about the areas where I feel I am behind (“when am I going to do x”). That is no longer the case. I am comfortable with who I am because I am executing a self-transformation plan.
Rejection and other peoples’ opinions no longer affect me as much. Opinions are like a Rorschach test, they often reveal more about the holder of the opinion than they do about the actual subject itself.
This may seem counterintuitive but to me, nofap isn’t about PMO, it was never about PMO. PMO is not the root issue, it is a symptom of deeper issues like loneliness, self-doubt and low self-confidence. If PMO was the entire issue then nofap alone would suffice. However as many have said before me, nofap is not enough. Nofap has to be used as a catalyst towards adopting a healthier set of habits and skills that make you a more confident person.
The biggest piece of advice I have is to be mindful about how you associate feelings and your reactions to them. Whenever I have a boner in the morning I’ve found it can easily be eliminated by going to pee. In the past I would have used it as a bodily signal to PMO and complied accordingly. Now I realize I have the choice to act differently.
I’ve come to realize the counter is just a number. I used to worry about losing motivation after crossing 90 days but that is no longer the case. After an honest self-assessment I know I am not yet where I need to be, and that is more than enough motivation to keep going.
Some final observations:
- Nofap is a “keystone habit” (from the Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg). Adopting a keystone habit can quickly carry over to other areas of life. I am exercising maybe more than I ever have. I am eating better without trying nearly as hard as I did sometimes in the past, my brain wants healthy food.
- Aggression: The early days in shorter streaks I used to experience unrestrained aggression, I had urges to break things just because. The aggression has now morphed into a more refined form, but I still feel a primal instinct every now and then. Not saying I would but I feel I could smash in someone’s face and break bones if I wanted to. I feel I can use my aggression if I need to. In the past I wondered what I would do if I ever found myself in a fight, doubted whether I could throw a good punch.
- Dreams: I’ve had about 6-7 wet dreams along the way. The first few were very explicit and woke me up feeling I had relapsed. My brain seems to have rewired to the point where the most recent ones are much more toned down. A couple of times I didn’t even feel an orgasm. If you take zinc and magnesium supplements they can give you some pretty wild dreams!
LINK – 90 day report: My words and smile are so easy now
by nonfapp
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