I am 14 years old, I have officially reached 130 days no pmo. And this is my success story. I turned 15 today, But my whole reboot was grinded out when i was 14. So I want to talk about my WHOLE story from the beginning. I started MO when i was around 4 or 6. So i was doing this almost all my life.
I knew it was really wrong. I started PMO when i turned 12 years old. I remember when i was around 8, 9, I think my dad caught me masturbating and he said to not do it too much because there a fluid that is very important to your body. (He was talking about semen) I didn’t really know what he was talking about at the time, But of course i still did it every single day. Every time i did it i knew it was VERY wrong and i was always ashamed of it and embarrassed of myself. I was always thinking how pissed and disappointing my parents would be if they knew i PMOed. I remember telling myself many many times before i starting actually rebooting to try and quit, And that I would stop because i am tired of it, Only too find out that i did it again, Every single day, STILL.
I was heavily addicted and I knew it. This was when I was like 11-13. Well i started researching about it. And the beginning of 8th grade (I was 13 and a few months) I started to slow it down and keep it at once a week. Of course i caved in a lot and feeling guilty, Depression afterwards, And I would always say i will never do it again after a session because i was so FUCKING depressed but ending up doing again, Over and over. I would edge a lot tho. I seriously couldn’t think and had brain fog ALL MY LIFE. I was always stupid in a way, I know deep down inside me I was not and wanting to become something but i didn’t know what was stopping me. I was always engulfed by this habit, Playing a lot of video games too in the same time. I always saw myself as a loser.
So around February/March of 2016 came along, And I researched PMO and finally tried rebooting. I found on a website a success story when a guy reached 130 days no PMO. I decided that that will be my goal, 130 days noPMO because it was a different number and a bit unique. I was reading side effects of PMO and i read that ejaculating can cause bone problems and I started to feel really upset that it could possible could be a cause of my knee problems and had to instantly start rebooting.
So then i did, And since ejaculating was not allowed, Wet dreams were relapses ( I didn’t know at that time. I did edge a lot (I also didnt know) which got me to relapse many times. I did that had a few 1 – 2 week reboots. Some ending in a wet dream and some i MOed. So then i had my first longest reboot. I reached 3 weeks. The first 2 weeks it was very hard and a lot of edging but then the 3rd week it was a breeze and was very easy and i was very happy about it at the time.
So then of course i relapsed from a wet dream. So then I think I had another 1 week reboot which i also had a wet dream and then decided to research wet dreams and found out it is not a relapse. Btw I was very desperate because I needed my knees healed by summer and i couldn’t waste any time.
So then a week and a half reboot came along, I knew wet dreams really weren’t a relapse but i was unsure of it. It was Tuesday morning around 6:30 AM, I had a wet dream. I couldn’t decide if it was a relapse because I was unsure if i should let wet dreams be a relapse or not. I was sitting there deciding what i should do, Continue the reboot or just restart and start over again but instead knowing that wet dreams are fine? It was a cloudy day, rainy, Dark and depressing and very tired. I sat for at least 10 minutes in my bed deciding. Then I said FUCK IT I will restart, Knowing wet dreams are not a relapse, Today is day 1. I knew it was a very hard choice to make, Because I didn’t want to waste that one week I rebooted, It was tough to decide. But it was the right choice.
It was April 12, 2016. And that is when my first longest reboot started, My 113 day reboot. I’m having a lot of nostalgia from this. April 12 was also when i quit video games. The April 8, 2016 Friday before April 12, 2016 i started working out. Since April 12 2016 the rest of the school year was probably the best times of my life so far, It was really fun and looking back it was amazing.
I relapsed around August 1-3 2016, Not sure why, But I wasn’t too happy because of it. I think it’s because of guilt. It was a depressing day, Feels so far away, Even tho it felt like yesterday. I went the boardwalk by Lincoln Park zoo that day, I slept very little and had a wet dream. I think that same day or the day after i Relapsed.
But then a bunch of reboots in august, Then September when i barely rebooted, Struggled so much from Guilt. October, November, December. So Hopeless, I was in a really dark place. I didn’t know what to do. January, February then finally March. I remember always looking back at those months, Fucking wasted. I will never be 14 years old EVER again. Never ever ever again. It’s impossible! I didn’t do anything those months. Literally.
March 20, My 130 day reboot started. I wrote a letter to my future self. Which i actually opened an hour ago but ill talk about it later. My reboot is kinda a blur in a way. I look back at some events during my reboot and, Nostalgia. I was literally there yesterday. Happened so fast, I remember one time when I was feeling guilty about my reboot literally over 100 days ago. It was a bit shitty in a way. But it brought me hope, I enjoyed by birthday today When i turned 15 years old. Even tho I had a wet dream in the morning.
I read that letter I wrote to myself. It really warmed my heart, And gave me a hope. I have never felt such a feeling in my grumpy mean life. I have never felt so happy and touched. It was almost as if like god or some higher force in the universe talked to me, Telling me everything will be ok. It’s almost like a feeling that you just cannot explain but have to experience it to see what it is. It’s almost like when you look at a picture of the cosmos or a picture that just takes you far away in the universe mixed with nostalgia and hopefulness. Like when you listen to a song that makes you feel infinite.
It’s amazing how i got so far. I thought I really would never get to 130 days no PMO. Day one is so far away and when i was on day one, day 130 was also very far away. But you cannot reach day 130 without doing day one.
I have been here and fighting since day one
Ask me anything. I have indeed been getting some benefits. You can ask me how i got here and i can guide you with some strategies to combat PMO.