(Okay I realize it’s a bit of a read, but I encourage all of you to please read my success story. I want everyone to see Gods amazing power and the ways he works.)
Jesus is truly our King and saviour. This is no question or doubt to this statement. Never in my life will I ever think less or different. I attended the National Catholic Youth Conference of 2015 (NCYC15). While I was there I had multiple spiritual experiences that touched my soul and changed me for the better. But there is one in particular that changed me and I know for a fact it was Jesus Christ the King of Kings who did so.
To begin with, before had for about two to three years I have been struggling with my addiction. My addiction was actually longer than 2-3 years, but for only those years did I openly admit to myself that it was indeed a problem that needed fixing. The addiction had a life of its own. The addiction made me want to kill myself. The addiction was the root of numerous problems and regrets that took place within my mind. It caused fear, depression, sadness, anger, and the feeling of having no self worth.
In multiple twisted ways it warped my brain and enabled me to lose the ability to love. Not just love other people and things, but love for myself. At some points in my addiction I didn’t feel like I had any meaning or purpose to anyone or anything. You can only imagine what this did to my daily life.
There was mind fog, lack of energy, depression, self-doubt, and ruined countless relationship. But little did I know that this addiction was something much more sinister.
This addiction was the evil and sinful work of the devil. Looking back at what happened it’s really the only explain nation for it. Every Time I relapsed things would only get worse, the suffering I endured would only be taken to a whole new notch on the thermostat of pain and problems.
Alone I tried to battle it I fought and fought countless of times, winning some battles, but losing most. Once I went 20 something days without relapse, but falling and going further down the trench of addiction than I had ever been before.
While my addiction was alive and well I looked at the calendar and realized NCYC15 was getting closer and closer. Something in me made me so attracted to this event. While in the past I had mixed or Luke warm feelings about if I should attend the event. With the recent events in Paris made my parents worried about me going up North for NCYC I assured them all would be fine. Even though I thought it could also be dangerous.
As then event came closer my failure to fight temptation for my addictions high became harder and harder. And even the night before I left I gave into my addiction more than once to say the very least.
The next early morning and I do mean early as in 3 am early I felt different. Can’t explain, but it was like a subconscious mind set of going somewhere to be fulfilled. Even though it was my first time going to NCYC and even up North with or without parents.
The trip was life changing, all three days Jesus Christ cleansed my body, mind, and soul. But there was one specific moment I would like to share.
Now, all three days I did pray for forgivenesses and to be rid of my addiction. But on the second day of my trip was when Jesus made himself visible to me and physically changed me. Within this conference there was multiple (hundreds) religious speakers that you could attend to listen to. I will admit I was suppose to have mine planned out, but ultimately didn’t and thought I’d just go with the flow and go to whichever one I saw interest in hearing. Well as I was around this enormous convention center with 25,000 teen Catholics I and another teen who came with my church were able to find one another in the same first workshop (speaker). She had a much better schedule in her head of who she was going to see and when.
This girl and I have been good friends or a while and she actually was told by her boyfriend not to go, because I was also attending. Yes, this girl and I have a past, but she was meant by the Lord to be there for me. To guide me.
We were happy to hang out with each other just and only as friends, because we really do enjoy each other’s company. We keep each other laughing, not in a flirtatious way, but in a best buddies or brother and sister type way. I decided to stay with her for the day and go to the speakers she had chosen. The first two were great, but the third is where we shine our attention to.
Before we entered the final speakers room she informed me that the last time she heard this speaker back in 2013 he had the whole audience crying. I looked at her in a buff strong way and said “Oh I don’t think I’ll cry.”
He was a phenomenal speaker, giving a fun and enthusiastic re-telling of the prodigal son story. If you’re not familiar with the story It’s lesson is no matter what you do or how you sin God will always welcome, love, and forgive you if you give yourself to him.
He ended his workshop with a final meditation type prayer. He had the entire room close their eyes. He said to imagine you are sitting comfortably on a mountain. As you look out upon the land you see far in the distance paradise. Not only is there paradise, but Jesus is there wanting you to come with him and be with him in paradise. Now remember you are perfectly comfortable on your mountain, but you have that urge and desire to be with Jesus, so you scale down the mountain. Scaling down the mountain is easier said than done. Finally you make it to the bottom and you head through this forest. You’re tired and worn out already from the mountain. These people appear and come up to you and tell you “give up you can’t make it, come and be with us, come relax and party with us.” It’s tempting, but you know you want to be with Jesus so you head on.
Next, you arrive at this desert. You step into the desert, it’s hot and you’re sweating, finally you fall down into the sand. As you’re laying there you’re contemplating on all your sins, (in my case my addiction) you’re thinking about all the bad you’ve ever done and how there’s no way to go on.
Then suddenly you feel someone flip you onto your back. You look up and it’s Jesus! He picks you up and holds you in his arms and tells you that it’s all “okay.” You can feel his love rush over you and you just lay out all your sins and anything troubling you, and his love relives you of all these troubles and you feel safety, joy and love run through you.
Back in reality I was bawling my eyes out at this point. (Along with everyone else) For I truly felt Jesus do this wile I put my addiction out there and he cleansed me of it. Once the prayer was over I had tears all over my sleeves and I wiped them from my face. But as I opened my eyes I felt new. I left the workshop feeling rejuvenated and full of life. It was like I was born again.
The next day, I went to confession and was relived of all my sins from an amazingly awesome priest. And that final night at mass I prayed my penance and at that point I knew my addiction was defeated by Jesus. He is the king of kings and my Lord and savior. Jesus saved me.
Let me tell you all that ever since I’ve returned I don’t have any more temptations. Immediately after I visited that workshop the next morning I had a rock solid hard on the next morning. My labido returned after being gone for a long time and even with girls I struggled with getting a boner, but after that day everything was fixed. When I say he saved my mind, body, and soul I meant it. Yeah trust me I’m amazed too. It shocked me that it was all miraculously fixed. But that’s how God works. He meant for I and that girl to have a friendship and for her to still attend the conference even when her boyfriend said no. There’s a reason I insisted that I still went even when my parents were asking me to skip it due to the tragedy in Paris.
THERE IS A REASON I DONT HAVE TEMPTATION TO PORN ANYMORE AND DON’T STRUGGLE WITH ED ANYMORE!
THE REASON IS PORN IS EVIL AND THE WORK OF THE devil AND I GAVE MYSELF AND LAYED OUT MY STRUGGLES AND SINS TO JESUS AND HE CLEANSED ME OF THEM!
I hope this gives you some hope! I encourage you wether you are Catholic or not! Either go to confession for the first time or tell your sins to a pastor. But make sure you lay it all out for Jesus to cleanse you of your sins! Accept him as your Lord and Savior!
God bless everyone!
BY – Kevinsavo15