The experience itself of not jacking off to a computer every day, avoiding it entirely — the way you feel…I feel like a child again. I am beginning to experience emotions I have not felt in a long long time.
Absolutely anything is happy to me. Just walking outside and feeling the crisp fall air. It brings back memories (how stupid is that?!?!), and I don’t feel like a stale, numb zombie anymore. I don’t need to jack off or smoke or video game in order to FEEL and EXPERIENCE. The world is plenty worthy and beautiful on its own.
Although people say girls notice me, It didn’t really happen. I guess I got looks and stuff until about 30 days and then they disappeared. That is not the point of this though.
My acne disappeared. Entirely.
My focus is through the roof.
I’m more sociable.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(P.S.) Try taking zinc. It helped with my depressive moods and my confidence.
HOW I DID IT
I’m actually extremely surprised I got to 90. ADHD, alcoholism, smoking, and just addiction in general run in my family so I guess getting there took some extreme measures. I’ll get to the point. Here’s what I did after my last relapse:
- Put parental controls on my tablet
- Deleted all games on tablet
- Installed K9 on each computer in the home and my parents had the password
- Changed passwords on everything in home
- Gave my tablet to my parents
- and avoided computers elsewhere as much as possible.
Go in 100%. My philosophy was to stay away from the trigger of the trigger of the trigger of the trigger of porn. So computers, phones, tablets, BEING INSIDE, TV, laziness, you name it I stayed the heck AWAY from it. And I guess my brain realized that I don’t need those things to feel happy anymore, and after a long while it got focused on other things instead of porn.
HOW YOU CAN DO IT
GO ALL IN OR YOU WON’T WIN. If you’re like me when you’re head is getting the craves it will do anything to get close to porn. Not necessarily straight to it, but AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE. And that is how the devil works: he is not a warrior that beats you down in one mighty blow: He is a deceptive sly snake, and he drops little tiny bread crumbs until he’s finally ensnared you again. It starts like this:
- “I don’t want to exercise, I want to be lazy”
- “Oh, i’ll just browse the computer today instead of being productive”
- ” I’ll just take a peek”
- “One little stroke won’t hurt, right?”
- “Eh, I’ve gotten a good streak, I’ll commit next time”
See? you already lost when you decided NOT to exercise. Kill the urges from the sources, keep yourself busy, and you WILL win. I promise. The setup to watch started long ago.
As a general experience, it has been a long and treacherous ninety days and needless to say I’m quite proud of it. Around day 60, I lost some of my superpowers and started to feel depressed. But my positive side kept saying: DUDE! You have prayed your heart out to beat this for a year, and God has blessed you with a willpower like none other to do so. Do not complain about the new found problems you must face. You have beaten back (not overcome) the most addictive thing on earth. That in itself is manhood ultimate.
And that’s the thing . NoFap is NOT a panacea. It will not solve all of your problems. Sure, you might get girls the first couple of days, but your manhood levels will regulate and it will wear off. And if you’re doing it for girls then you will fail, not only because that’s not the point of this, but because the world has more to offer than girls. PLEASE. DO YOUR THING AND THE LADIES WILL COME. Don’t go chasing them.
Quitting will only lift the fog and open the door: YOU have to walk through it and take action in order to EXPERIENCE what the real world actually is.
After you quit porn, there’s likely other problems you have to take care of. Video games…smoking…computer obsession…take care of them and you will be happier.
Quitting porn will be the hardest and BEST thing that you will ever do in your entire lifetime. And that’s the thing about life: usually the hardest things have the greatest output. You will feel again and fly. Everything is absolutely amazing.
IT IS SO WORTH IT! Go 100% and you will not regret it. I promise.
UPDATE – 365 days (16 yrs)
On Nov 14th 2016, I hit 365 days without any pornographic viewing (on purpose). I have fought so hard and I’m so happy that I finally have made it. It’s been two and a half years since I started this and even though it’s never over, this is definitely a milestone for me, and I thank every single one of you for your motivational posts and this community in general. /r/NoFap has played a huge part in this achievement.
Interestingly enough it became easier for me to resist porn when I stopped lifting/working out. In fact my first use of pornography occurred about a month after I started playing football (which included lifting) in 9th grade, and in those two years the urges were tough. I don’t know why, but every 30 days while I was playing football i would have an insane uncontrollable urge, but after I quit football they never came. I don’t know if it was testosterone or maybe my resistance willpower finally solidified and it has nothing to do with testosterone, but I’m no doctor. After 60 ish days (I quit lifting about 15 days into my current streak) it became a total breeze and my habit transformed from indulging into my passions into resisting them. Immediately whenever I see a photo I look away as fast as I can and get away.
All that aside, those two years were some of the worst times of my life. I was anxious, irritable, quiet, weak, and emotional (in a bad, extreme way). My parents blamed it on the fact that I was on the football team but I knew what the real culprit was. I had zero energy and I felt like a worthless blob. When I was a little bit younger, heck even up until I started using, girls used to think I was pretty cute (and so did I) but I never got those “glances” that I used to get at this time, and I was pretty confused. After some research it all made sense. The idea of permanent brain damage from porn use scared me to death, and I began my attempts to quit. Depression kicked in every once in a while and I hated my life. I never contemplated suicide but I sure didn’t want to be in the position I was in. Then I transferred high schools to see if things would get any better and they did. And i that point I never looked back at porn and, well, here I am.
If you men want women, the best thing you can do is ignore them and accomplish what you want to accomplish. I remember a while back when someone posted a quote that went: “If you go chasing butterflies, you’ll never catch them. But if you sit still, they will come and sit softly on your shoulder.” In my personal experience (which isn’t much being 16 😉 ), every time I have told a girl that they were awesome or loved them or spilled my guts it only freaked them out. But the girls I never paid attention to were always the ones who liked me. Pretty stupid right? The whole point is that if you’re too eager or you act like you’re the fan of a woman instead of their friend, you’ll get nervous and bottled up trying to start a conversation because you think they’re so amazing and you’ve already lost. They’re people just like you and I for crying out loud! Do your thing, accomplish, gain confidence, and the women will come.
ALSO, don’t be a dick to women. It doesn’t work. You have a better chance being nice. Maybe “friendly” is a better word, but in any case I know you’ve all heard the “nice guys finish last” stereotype but it isn’t necessarily true. What the saying actually means is that the “nice guys” don’t have enough confidence to approach a women so they DO everything for them instead, because they don’t have the stress resistance enough to hold an eye-to-eye conversation with some babe. So the girl ends up getting weird gifts and cards and texts but when it comes to face-to-face they can’t do it. THAT’S a “nice guy.” You don’t have to be a jerk to women! If you can be kind AND have confidence in yourself, which is tricky, you are absolutely golden. I’m not saying you have to get every single door and buy her roses every night, because that’s a little over the top. But the point is that nobody likes a dick. Be a girl’s friend, but don’t be her minion or her little helper. That’s all the quote’s saying. People are going to like you more if you’re a good person rather than a dickhead (including girls).
Here is my advice:
LIFT – this will magnify your superpowers. You will have more mental clarity, energy, better looks, muscle, better stress resistance…the benefits are truly endless. Quitting porn is impossible if you don’t replace it with another habit, and lifting will help ease stress, and it’s a great habit to have. Mix cardio and lifting so you don’t become a meatheaded idiot who never does cardio nor a cross country runner that never lifts who could be compared to a holocaust refugee. They’re both important, but don’t do a lot more of one than the other.
COLD SHOWERS – I haven’t taken a hot shower for probably five months now, and the last time I did it made me dizzy. It’s a great way to start the day with some “pep” and wake up, and it will help build your discipline. If the first thing you do in the morning is do something hard, not only will it build confidence through accomplishment of difficult tasks, but the discipline will spill over into everything else you do for the rest of the day.
TRY NOT TO INDULGE IN TOO MANY PLEASURES – You name it – fast food, video games, TV, internet browsing, mindlessness whatever it is don’t do it. Go do something challenging or accomplish goals. Mindlessness gets you nowhere.
Thanks for reading and good luck on your journey.
TL;DR – Personal history, Ignore women but don’t be an emotional dick, and then lift and take cold showers and be disciplined in other habits.
UPDATE 500 days A milestone
Sheesh. 500 days. Looking back at everything that’s happened I’ve really taken for granted my triple-digit streak, as though porn is out of my life and another day is well, another day. I don’t think of it anymore. It’s become typical for me to go months without even thinking about porn, something that most people sadly cannot do. I am so grateful for my ability to shake this off, seeing that three years ago I thought I’d never make it past a month. I am so thankful for this sub and its constant support that it has brought for all of us, anywhere from motivation to science to strategies and tips. NoFap is such a great thing and has changed so many lives, including my own. Be thankful for NoFap guys. I thought I’d give you a little motivation to kick off this milestone.
Guys just as the one and only slim shady would say, “you can do anything you set your mind to.” I firmly believe that. If you put your heart and soul into it, and you believe you can accomplish what you’re focused on, there really is no limit to what you can achieve. If you really do want to quit porn and experience some of the benefits people are talking about, put everything you’ve got into quitting. Make it your number one priority. Tape a paper to your mirror: “I will be strong today.” Something, anything. Do whatever it takes and do not back down. Get pissed at what porn has belittled you into. Treat pornography like a monster and every day is a battle. At the end of the day a victor will be determined and it had better be you. Do not give up and envision yourself beating the addiction because you can do it. Especially if I can. And when you relapse (because it will happen, you’re not going to go from 3 times a day to 400 days overnight) get back up and try again. Cry for an hour then get back on the horse. Don’t tell yourself it’s ok, because it’s not, but don’t be pessimistic either. Get a longer streak this time and give quitting this habit everything you have. Remember: water cuts through boulders not because of its strength, size, speed, or force, but because of its persistence. One thing I liked that Eric Thomas said in one of his motivational speeches:
“Most of you say you want to be successful, but you don’t want it bad. You just kinda want it. You don’t want it badder than you want to party. You don’t want it as much as you want to be cool, and most of you don’t want success as much as you want to sleep!”
If you want to quit porn, fight. You’ve got to want it with everything you have. It should be your #1 priority. You can win!
As far as advice is concerned I have a little:
Develop discipline in every area of your life. Physical exercise, homework, diet, social skills, women etc. etc. Because discipline in other areas of your life spills over into quitting habits, and it overall gives you greater self-confidence and an ability to trust yourself. It will give you willpower to quit. If you’re completely liberal in every area in your life, it’s going to be difficult to tell yourself to be disciplined in only one. Learn the principle of discipline and master it.
Another thing I would recommend quitting video games. For around 200 days or so porn never even got a thought. As soon as I accidentally stumbled across something mildly pornographic online I would turn away immediately. During this time period I would occasionally indulge in fast food and watch movies with friends, but it never got out of hand and the two things I was “no-debate (haha) absolutely no bending on were PMO and video games. ” However it being spring break at my school I decided to play some Battlefield 2 and NCAA 14 with my brothers and the urges came right back. It only took about fifteen minutes. Do not waste time playing video games. Not only are they (IMO) detrimental to your mental health but they also give you a false sense of achievement, like you’re actually worth something because you got to level 7 or something. Live in the real world.
Develop discipline and give the addiction everything you’ve got. Develop a fire in you. I know you can do it!
Thanks for reading. And if you have any questions at all don’t hesitate to ask.