After 90 days I knew I was never going to go back to how life used to be because this has been the best six months of my life by FAR. I’m 17 years old and had struggled with PMO since I was 12 or 13. You can read some of my earlier posts to see my exact journey and other tips that I think will help you.
February 10 was the day I decided I was done with PMO and that my best version of life could only be lived free from it. This came from an experience I had with a girl which made me realize how stupid and unfulfilling my PMO addiction was and that I needed to stop it. Again you can go back and read my post on this event for more details. But since then I’ve seen my life completely change.
From day 1-day 19 it was a normal streak that I didn’t realize would lead to me dropping the habit. I didn’t feel super confident or anything but I did feel very energetic as many people do during the first couple weeks.
Day 20-Day 50 I was slightly more confident but I was incredibly emotional all the time, likely due to the all the emotions I had suppressed with PMO over the years. I also lost the “brain fog” and began to think very clearly. I felt comfortable in my own skin for the first time ever and I didn’t feel ashamed around people and I felt like I was just as worthy to be myself as they were. I’ve struggled with self-esteem and self-image issues since my addiction started when I was in middle school and despite the fact that I’m tall, athletic, and decent looking, I’ve always struggled to get girls because of this. Speaking of that, next phase…
Day 50-Day 150 was flatlining and EXTREME confidence. Most people don’t see the flatline being associated with confidence. But for me they hit at around the same time. Let me make one thing clear: NOFAP ALONE IS NOT WHAT WILL MAKE YOU EXTREMELY CONFIDENT! If you get on a high streak you will become a little confident because you’ll have overcome an obstacle in life, but you have to improve yourself in other areas in order to become extremely confident. For me, I started actually talking to girls and, gasp, flirting with them instead of acting like a complete wuss around them. Before this, I thought that being nice would eventually get me a girl. I put them on such a pedestal I wish I could go back in time and punch myself in the face for being such a bitch.
I’d say around day 80, when I was first talking to a girl who eventually became the first girl I would ever seriously go out with, was when my approach changed. I just don’t care anymore about what they think of me and I am honest with girls and I try to have fun and let them know that I’m not there to satisfy their every need. I’ve discovered that I naturally am inclined to be kind of an asshole to girls and make fun of them a lot and be really sarcastic and flirty and ridiculous sometimes. Some people might think that they wouldn’t like me because of that, but that’s just how I am and girls will respect you when you act true to who you really are.
I’ve only dated one girl on this streak(which is one more girl than I’ve ever dated before this streak lol) but I talk to numerous girls, and many of the girls who I talk to, including a couple who live in a different state from me, have told me that they think I’m cute and that they’re attracted to me and would like to hang out with me. I’m not trying to brag at all, I’m just being honest. In fact, the amount of success I’ve had with girls is the one thing that I still sometimes can’t believe because I remember reading these Reddit posts and wishing that it was me who was having all that success and now it is. Along with that, I’ve made way more friends and now people ask me to hang out all the time when before I almost never would hang out with people outside school.
Up until about the five month point, I was flatlining in the sense that I had no desire to have sex with any girl and I was looking at girls in a completely non sexual way and I only wanted a relationship for the companionship part. I didn’t mind feeling like this, but now that I’m past that and I’m back to wanting sex I feel better, but I’d say my experience with the flatline was pretty positive.
Day 150-180 I feel so confident in myself its crazy. When I talk to people now I come at them from a point of complete non neediness and I just say whatever I want. This confidence has also translated to sports, where I’ve improved more than I ever have before. My self-image and how I view myself is incredibly high now and many people have seen the changes. Over these past six months I’ve improved my physical appearance a ton to the point that I was at the gym the other day and when I swiped in the lady at the front desk didn’t think the picture that came up when I swiped was me. Now I care about how my hair looks, how my skin and face looks, how I dress, what shoes I wear and this in combination with working out has really taken my confidence to a whole new level. I feel like the past six months are the first six months that I’ve truly lived.
The last thing I want to mention is this: don’t ever think you’ve made it. I’m at six months but I know that life is a lot longer than just six months. I will never be satisfied with where I am or what I’ve accomplished I always want more. It amazes me when I see posts like: “I relapsed at day 50 on purpose!” I always think to myself, “Why the heck would you do that!?” 50 days is not even close to making a complete change. I felt pretty good at day 50, but I feel a million times better and 100% different at day 180. And I hope that when I reach day 365 on February 10, 2018 I’m 100% different and better than how I am now.
Never be satisfied with your PMO addiction. Life is so much better without it. I can’t imagine the things I would have missed out on if I hadn’t decided to make a change and I’m so excited for where I’m going to go in life. Every day I have this unwavering sense of self confidence now, it allows me to be myself and realize that if anyone doesn’t like me for who I am, cool. I don’t need them there’s a ton of other people who love me for who I am. This feeling can’t be fabricated or learned, you have to earn it by living in a way that honors yourself by living your best possible life. And in order to do that you’ve gotta put down the PMO.
Thank you to anyone who read this and please ask me quest