I can’t believe the time has already arrived to write my 90 day report. First and foremost, I want to thank all of you for your support and wisdom. I could not have gotten this far without you guys.
A bit of background. I am 17 years old, a junior in high school. I discovered pornography at age 11 and immediately became hooked. As is common among many of us, I began with mundane material and gradually worked my up to things so toxic I don’t even wish to mention them. My addictive peak was probably last summer, when I PMOd around twice a day. I was always known as the shy/quiet but intelligent kid. People generally liked me, but my social skills were extremely lacking.
I would like to touch on a few of the benefits I have experienced, as well as offer some advice.
1. Mental Purity. As I have progressed upon my journey, my brain has been growing more and more pure. Pornographic images never enter my mind anymore, and sexual images rarely (and only in the context of love). My view of women has been much improved: I see them now as sisters, wonderful creatures with thoughts and feelings and dreams, rather than objects for my gratification. Of course, this change in my mindset has led to…
2. Way better interaction with girls. Suffice to say, last summer I didn’t hang out with a single person once; yesterday a group of ten girls I know literally begged me to spend time with them. It is important to note that this change is not simply the result of abstaining from masturbation; it rather comes from the combination of my healthier view of women, improved self-confidence, and serious study of social skills.
3. More engaging social interaction in general. I used to be ridiculously horrible at small talk. Now I have no problem having a 30 minute conversation with anyone, be they a random football player or a gorgeous girl. Once again, this is from studying social skills. It is also important to note that because I have nothing to hide anymore, I don’t really feel shameful about myself; this of course helps with socialization.
4. Time. I almost forgot about this one because it seems so endemic to me now. When I masturbated, I took my time; two hours for one session wasn’t out of the ordinary. Now I have time to socialize, practice guitar, lift, read, etc.
1. Make yourself socialize. I used to be (and still am) extremely introverted. As part of my journey, I realized I needed to start getting out more or I would just be lonely and depressed. Find any excuse you can to go be with people. Join a club, call up old friends. If someone invites you to a movie, go, even if you don’t like them or the movie. Your perspective on people and relationships will change. I now realize how much better real people are: they can love you back. You will also find that no one is truly boring or stupid or any other negative adjective. By making myself have heart-to-heart conversations with people I never thought I could relate to, I have made a huge circle of friends of both genders.
2. Get hobbies. I’ve played the guitar for about 6 years. With all the freedom time I have now, I can practice like a maniac. At one point I was practicing for 8 hours a day, although I have toned it down lately. If guitar isn’t your thing, start painting or writing or something. Do anything that engages the creative part of your mind.
3. Exercise. I started lifting 2 months ago. People talk about this ad nauseum, so I won’t ramble. Just know that it’s a great idea to start lifting heavy weights and doing a strength program.
4. Start a spiritual discipline. I personally became a Christian a few years ago, but I won’t talk about that in detail because I know most of you aren’t. Whether it be prayer, meditation, gratitude, whatever, do something spiritual, even if you consider yourself a secular person. It’s good for your mental health and perspective. I know for me that when I begin my day with 15 minutes of prayer, I tend to treat others with much more love and kindness.
And that’s it. This ended up being longer that I intended, but I hope it’s all useful to you guys. I think the two most important things are to stay persistent and socialize-these two things will take you far. Please don’t hesitate to ask if you have any questions about anything, and I would also welcome any and all advice you have to offer!