Ever since I started taking this seriously two years ago my life has improved in so many ways its damn near incalculable. I have a lot going for me: I absolutely excel in almost everything I do in the arts.
I go to a great high school (I’m 17) with great grades and I want to do art (not sure which medium yet!) for the rest of my life and I’m very confident about my path and future. In the first bit of advice, I say to get out and experience the world. This summer I did just that; I auditioned for and made a theatre production that I was so close to not doing. However, NoFap compelled me to do it, and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I made so many new friends, and I even met a lady there whom I now am now dating. Life is looking up friends, and I simply cannot wait to take on the challenges of junior year and crush them.
I made it to 90 days, therefor I can do anything.
Thank you, NoFap. For everything. I owe all of this to you guys.
TL; DR: Make plans to prevent yourself from fapping, 90 days is not the end, logic and reason are your best friend, women aren’t everything in life, nofap won’t fix everything.
I see a lot of these and they get redundant after you’ve been on this sub for a while, so I’m going to try to keep this post concise with my advice and insights being things I don’t see on this sub often enough or even at all. Here they are:
- The number 1 thing that has kept me from fapping is keeping myself as busy as possible. I did theater, music, photography, film and many more things all this summer to keep myself from getting bored which would surely lead to a relapse. Whenever I would get an urge, it would immediately be followed by a thought such as: “you have a show in two weeks, you NEED nofap to do well. you simply cannot relapse.” And right then my urges would be utterly destroyed. Sign up for anything you see yourself as remotely interested in. Make these plans days, weeks, hell months ahead, and have your goal be not having masturbated between now and the time of that plan. Get out in the world and fapping simply won’t be an option. Its magical.
- The big 90 is a bit oversold I think. Your urges don’t go away. I still get urges on occasion, and for some reason they’ve been especially powerful and tempting lately. NoFap is a daily struggle for me still, however I’ve gotten stronger and stronger and the urges less and less frequent. I still have a long ways to go. I thought I would be completely “cured” and “fixed” by now… on the other side of success. However I am not. Maybe this is because I’m still a teenager and my hormones are raging (would actually like to hear thoughts from any teenagers reading this post about this). Either way, there is still work to be done, and I’m not entirely sure it will ever be finished.
- LOGIC and REASON is your best friend with NoFap. Your instincts have become your enemy thanks to PMO. They are not to be trusted. Try to understand your addiction as much as you can scientifically so you can realize that you don’t in fact “need” porn or “need” to jack off… you just think you do. Transcend the human banal self, but also embrace it. Your an animal that was not meant to jack off everyday multiple times a day. It will come out roaring and it will be glorious, but a different beast must be conquered before the lion can emerge. Addiction isn’t overcome through sheer willpower, there are tricks, it has weaknesses that can be exploited. Use them. Don’t make this harder on yourself than it needs to be.
- Women are not everything in life. Don’t do NoFap for women, do it for yourself. You deserve a better version of YOU. PMO has made me needy and desperate for a woman, and I still am, but not nearly as much as I was at Day 1. Thinking a woman will fix everything wrong in your life will set you and any woman you are with up for failure. Read the Missing Piece Meets the Big O by Shel Silverstein. That perfectly incapsulates what I’m talking about here.
- NoFap did not fix everything in my life, although it sure helped it a lot. I still don’t work out, even though I’m very skinny and haven’t mustered up the discipline or willpower to get in shape. I’m insecure as hell about it too. That among many other things, I still have a lot on myself to work on. Maybe NoFap helped me get on the right path, but ultimately I have to have the willpower to take it to the next level. I emphasize a lot that NoFap isn’t possible through only sheer willpower, but at the end of the day, you need it to succeed. It is still absolutely essential.
Thats all I can think of as of now. I realize that there are a lot of harsh realizations here, I’m just trying to be helpful by putting things in this post that I don’t see here often. And what we don’t see here often are some of the negative things that happen to us on our journeys. We like to focus on the positives, which is totally fine actually. The ability to do that is extremely helpful to keeping up a streak when life gets you down and those urges come surging back at you.