I have tried the challenge off and on for the past year or so, with essentially no success. Maybe a week tops, then relapse over, and over, and over. Over this past spring break, I decided to try again, like usual. Only 3 days in, I spent an entire afternoon edging, and gave myself a horrific case of blue balls.
Lying on the bathroom floor trying not to vomit, I thought “I did this to myself. If only it would go away, I wouldn’t do it again”. After another hour or two, it finally did wear off, at which point I promptly went right back to edging, and the pain came right back. It was at that moment that I realized just how miserable I was. I spent that night trying to fall asleep in the fetal position, thinking about what I had done.
That was no fun, so I decided to get my act together. I have a nofap counter app, but I noticed that every time I checked it, I would relapse within a few hours. So, I decided not to check it.
I wasn’t going to check it because I wasn’t going for a number anymore; I was fixing a messed up problem that I had been hiding for 3 years. I have not checked my streak since then, though I estimate that it has been about a month. This is what has happened in that time.
I’m a really quiet, smart, oddball kid. People knew who I am, but I had essentially no social circle. After a few days, I started reaching out to people, mostly just actually acknowledging people who showed interest in talking to me, rather than avoiding and ignoring them. Before long, I was talking to people semi-regularly.
Fast forward two weeks, and things have made some progress. I’m looking at myself more from an external view, seeing what good and bad qualities are available for me to work with. One day, I have an idea.
There’s this super hot, stereotypical cheerleader, top of the social ladder type girl that I vaguely know. I decide to go ask what’s up. Chick freaks out, can’t believe I’ve come to talk to her, super flattered, etc. For the next two days, she came to say hi to me in the halls. Mission successful. This has worked on one or two others girls as well. So, what happened this weekend?
Prom. That’s what, and my god was it better than expected.
How so? I was essentially a celebrity. I had girls ditching their dates to beg me to dance with them. Begging! People running over just to say hi. 8+ girls by my count. I was challenged to a dance off. I won. Hell, I was so good guys wanted to dance with me. And all this is from a skinny, silent nerd who didn’t even have a date. Today I had people saying hey in the halls everywhere I went. Talk about superpowers.
Bottom line, this is what I’ve learned so far:
- Get your shit together. Take a step back and see how bad things really are. This is essential. If you’re reading this, you are probably really down in the dumps. You can’t see the beauty of a city from the slums. There are reasons why you keep relapsing. Find them. Fix them!
- Things will not happen overnight. Take small steps, and when the time comes, you’ll be ready. As seen above, I was waiting for superpowers, but never noticed them till I looked back at what has happened. It can happen faster than you think, just don’t go hunting for it.
- Don’t plan stuff word for word. Declare a small goal and think of a rough track to do it. I assure you that your perfect scenario will not go to plan, but it can be even better than you imagined if you seize the opportunity.
- Nothing is impossible. I’m not saying that stupid stuff like elephants falling from the sky will happen, but rather that you are imposing a filter on your view of the world. That 10/10 you fantasize about? Stop fantasizing and go investigate. You might be surprised.
- Experiment. Don’t set all your sights on one prize, because if that fails, you’re screwed. You will be a depressed wreck and be back at square one. Test things out on alternative choices that you aren’t too concerned about. If something goes wrong, no big deal.
- Forget leagues. I’ve never played that game. As I’ve just shown, you can go from the bottom to the top almost overnight.
- Stopping porn and masturbation will not fix your problems. They are just what has been holding you back. You have to throw some more gold into the pot for the rainbow to appear. To get you started, this is how I went about it. I did some wacky science stuff and showed it to a teacher. Teacher got super excited and showed everyone who would listen. This got the word out on the street about me and primed the general public for my taking.
I’m going to continue this adventure. Next part of The Plan is to hang out with a girl. I’ll keep you posted.