Age 17 – The way I see people has changed

I’ve been absent from the community for the biggest part of my streak. For me, it is better to focus on life and let the recovery process happen naturally, but I also feel I should give more to the community that did so much for me. I don’t check my counter regularly, specially after the three digits can’t. Also, I want to make report posts when I feel like it, and not on preset days.

So, I checked my counter and it read 230. Having lot of things on my mind I didn’t pay much attention, just said wow. Now I stopped to think about it and I remember how I struggled to get past the 20 day mark… How did I do it?

I’ve been trying to quit since 2012. Been using P since I was 11, that was back in 2009. I’m 17 now. You begin to learn a lot about yourself every time you fail. Get to know your addiction for it is inside your brain. It’s a part of you that you’re fighting. It’s a cliche to say that it gets easier… But indeed it does.

On my personal life, things took a steep turn. I’ve had high expectations for 2015, and it has been being quite agitated… I won’t go in details, but I wasn’t expecting to get in a relationship.

Anyway guys. Keep the fight on. One day you will look back and see that all was worth it.

[More advice]

The most important thing I learnt was saying No to yourself. See, when one gets a urge, he tends to follow the same path everytime. For example: Urge, then consider, then do. It’s a circle, and you must break it.

When you get a urge to look for some P, tell yourself a big No. It feels really frustating at first, because you’ll desire, but won’t have it. Just like a child cries when it doesn’t get candy… Just take the ‘adult’ part of you to be straight with this No.

‘No, I won’t do it. No options, no excuses’

Being constantly worried with the counter has been a problem for me many times. Some people encourage using spreadsheets… I prefer to ignore it.

By driving your attention somewhere else, the recovery sounds less like a burden. Recovering is focusing on building the new, and not fixing the old (there is a famous quote somewhere…) Worrying about the addiction is focusing on the problem, even if indirectly – It’s gonna be in your mind all the time.

Badges are fancy and cool and a good thing to have. I’d reccomend coming here when you need help or when you feel like helping a fellow brother, or even when you want to be inspired. But I don’t think making it a compulsory is beneficial.

I can’t remember the last time I had a urge for P.

Sometimes, like once or twice a month, I feel some urge to M in certain situations, most notably Morning wood. But it’s nothing like the crazy urges we get in the begging. See, it gets better when you build up the momentum.

Be aware that Wet Dreams may become a thing. I have them almost monthly now. First times it feels weird and you feel guilty, then it gets normal.

Everything comes gradually. All in all, socializing is now more natural, also the way I see people has changed – It’s natural to feel empathy towards someone, and not be selfish as I used to.

LINK – How did I do it? [232 day report]

by kdealmeida