Maybe I was one of the lucky ones or something or my addiction was never as bad as I thought it was. But PMOing is yesterday’s news now.
Brief background:
- 18 years old
- PMOing almost daily since age 12
- started off with internet porn
- escalated into really bad stuff
What I did during the reboot:
- started beginning/mid January
- No P, M, or O at all. Personally, it was a lot easier to not O than to look at P, not sure why.
- got out and hung around girls as much as I could. I’m also on a cheer team, so I’m around 24 girls everyday for 2 hours…this probably helped out A TON
- made it a point to rewire along with rebooting
EDIT: flatline was about 2 weeks, and it was hell.
I woke up today and decided to see if I could get hard to sensation only (no fantasizing either). And to my amazement, I can’t even remember the last time I had an erection that was as hard or felt as good. I got up rock solid in maybe 10 seconds and it actually felt like I was going to ejaculate (which I’m still refraining from doing…it’s just a personal thing. I’ve come to find that I feel much better when I don’t). I get turned on by the littlest things now (e.g. tone of voice or seeing an attractive girl in a dress) where as before, it would take the most hardcore porn out there.
I love this, and sure as heck am never going back.
LINK – “Cured” after only 2 months
BY – kdrums
INITIAL POST – 18 and starting a reboot
Hey, everyone. So a bit of a background about why I’m here in the first place: I found out about porn at the age of 11 and PMO’d to a hardcore lesbian scene (at the time I thought, “whoa, two girls are better than one any day”) and have been PMOing to hardcore porn nearly everyday for the last 6 years. It started to interfere with school and other aspects of my life. I found out about this organization called “Fight the New Drug” probably close to a year ago now and learned about what porn does to the brain and decided I wanted to quit for good.
I’ve been relapsing and rebooting on and off since around the middle of July. Only towards the beginning of November have I actually been able to finally step back and say “I don’t want this and know I can do so much more without porn”. Before then, I felt as if I couldn’t even control the urges and would need to watch P and release. It got to the point where I didn’t even like the fact that I was watching it, and I escalated into watching some pretty messed up stuff, too.
I’m about 2 weeks in to my recovery (probably just slightly more, I’m not really counting the days) and I can honestly say that I never want to watch porn ever again. I do get manageable urges, but given that I myself know that I don’t want to turn to P, they’re incredibly easy to ignore. I usually just go off and make music, do school work, or watch a movie (I’ve seen a lot of movies in the past 2 weeks).
Throughout the 2 weeks that it’s been, I’ve MO’d once to sensation only without any chaser effect, but I also had no “life” downstairs for a few days after. It might seem way too flippin’ early to be MOing this early, but it wasn’t relapse and had no chaser, so I didn’t think of it as much harm…I could be wrong though.
Another thing: I’m on the cheerleading team at my high school and I’m around girls probably more than my own family. This has kind of been a helpful tool to know where I’m at. I mean, when I was PMOing every day it would take a hardcore P video to get me up and then not even 100% hard at that. Now, even when I see them change into uniform (we all trust each other way too much) I feel stuff going on down there that I would have never felt had I continued with PMO. They also look a heck of a lot more attractive now, too, which I’m certainly not going to complain about.
I definitely still think I have the infamous “flatline” to brace, but I guess if I’m expecting it, it won’t seem like a huge surprise (I could be very wrong about that).
I like where this is going and plan to keep it that way.
UPDATE – Need motivation? Hear, or rather read, me out.
Before I begin what could end up being a very long post, this is coming from someone who has completed a reboot and is back to “normal”.
My reboot in 3 paragraphs (so you see where I come from)
Starting off on this No PMO journey, I thought that it was impossible to go even a few days without looking at P or even MO’ing. Last August up until the beginning of January, that was true. I couldn’t stop relapsing and the chaser effect would kick in for me every time. Post chaser effect, I could go 5 or 6 days without PMO before I would come back full circle.
In the beginning of January, something in me had no desire to MO. I still had urges to to look at P, but most of the time I could just shrug them off and go on. I learned from what was happening previously and didn’t want to go back to it. I read up on the pros of rebooting and read into the dark side of the P industry. Come mid February, I had no desire to look at P at all and found other things to focus my energy on. I also got out and got around people as much as I could-this helped out tremendously.
Come March, I was starting to feel re-sensitized to everything around me (this is when it gets amazing) and started enjoying everything about life more. On March 15, I woke up and thought, “I might as well see if I can get hard”. I did my thing and in about 10 seconds to sensation only, I was rock solid and almost ejaculated. It felt f*cking amazing to be able to do that for the first time ever.
Motivational part
I struggled with this a lot at first. But I realized that the pros so outweighed the cons and, for my moral side, the P industry isn’t all fun and games. The two things that I think helped most were sexual transmutation – transferring that sexual energy into anything else but pixels on a screen, and being the only male on a cheerleading team where I not only see real girls half naked, but also get to be up close (I’m talking like chest to chest, butt touching from stunts, etc.) with them everyday for 2 hours (I realize this isn’t exactly a universal solution, but it’s what I credit for helping).
There is light at the end of the tunnel and you just need to keep going until it gets better, because it will. Being on the other side of this is so much better than PMO. I did this almost on will power entirely knowing what my future could be like if I didn’t change and knowing what I wanted to be instead and getting out of my own head and into real life.
UDPATE 2 –The real libido
When I first started my reboot, I longed for what this felt like. That day has finally come and it is nothing at all like the porn dopamine addiction libido I was feeling while PMO’ing daily.
I was first consciously aware when I was driving my friend, who happens to be a girl I find really attractive, home a few nights ago. I was having a shit day and she knew it. I started tearing up a bit. She started rubbing my leg telling me it was going to be okay. Before I even realized it, I was rock f*cking hard and hadn’t had an erection like that in, well, ever. It doesn’t take much anymore.
Not only do I get turned on by touch/feel, but I also crave another person whereas before, it’d be an image on a computer.
;
