The journey that I began more than a year ago seems to have paid off. A few days ago, I succeeded in getting a strong erection and had sex using a condom until i ejaculated.
I’ve had sex with the same girl twice since, and my conviction that I am cured has only grown.
I will start with a background of my own story and finish by listing some tips that led to my success. I’m an 18 year old guy, who has experienced ED, DE and increasingly extreme fetishes since I can remember. I first watched porn when I was 12 and continued to escalate to chatroulette, bondage and fetish porn for the next few years.
When I reached high school, my first few sexual experiences left me confused and unsatisfied. Initially, I just experienced DE from blow jobs and handjobs, which I made a variety of excuses about but never really got to cause of. My sophomore year, when I first started trying to have sex with my girlfriend, I couldn’t get a boner on four different occasions, and panic ensued. The relationship ended, and my entire school made fun of me about the incident. My confidence with girls was absolutely shattered, and I fell into a deep depression.
In the fall of my junior year, I stumbled onto YBOP. Although I initially couldn’t believe that cutting out masturbation could solve my problems, I had no other options and started a reboot.
My first four months were a rocky experience, my PMO-free streaks were only days at a time and my relapses always turned into all-out porn binges. This was the hardest period of my life, my parents separated, I had to switch schools and I went months without even kissing a girl. I was so tempted to simply let porn block out all my problems, like I had so many times in the past. However, I found the motivation to use these tough times as the impetus for personal growth.
I began lifting weights, reading books before I went to bed and quit taking Adderall. I also became serious about No-fap, watching hours of videos, reading tons of posts and installing porn blockers on my computer. After I became serious, progress became better; I was still relapsing but my streaks kept increasing in length.
My first big hard mode streak was 50 days, but my heart was broken when I relapsed into a nasty three day porn binge. I managed to pick myself up afterwards with new found resolve, and managed to reach the coveted 90 day hard mode.
After finishing this, I thought my problems were behind me. However, I made the huge mistake of starting to masturbate before I could test my progress with a girl, and I ended up slipping into yet another porn binge. After I faltered, I came incredibly close to giving up all together. I couldn’t believe my months of hard work had not cured me, and began to believe that my problems were not fixable.
Something inside of me refused to give up however, and I decided to cut out porn and MO indefinitely. This final time felt different, and after a few months I deleted the old crutch of porn blockers and my confidence with girls returned for the first time in years. I came close a few times to relapse, but I remembered that sick feeling I felt every time i gave in to my demons.
After 4 months of this, I had a completely unexpected and incredible experience. A girl who I met at a party the night before messaged me on Facebook and invited me to come over. When I got there, we hooked up, she blew me a little bit and then told me she wanted me to fuck her. For the first time in my life, I did not bring my outside nerves in, and just let myself get caught up in the moment. I became fully hard when I put the condom in, and penetrated. The first seconds I was inside her made every miserable day fighting porn worth it. The feeling of euphoria I felt is almost indescribable, I came in literally ten seconds but laughed it off.
A minute later, I became hard and penetrated again. This time I lasted for 6 or 7 minutes, and made her cum. I have successfully had sex with her again the last couple days, and I have experienced no problems.
My message to all those reading this is simple, no matter how bleak it looks, you must look ahead to the light at the end of the tunnel. The high I have no is greater than any drug on the planet, it goes beyond the physical pleasure of sex, or the sense of relief i feel that I can finally have a healthy relationship with a girl; the confidence I feel from overcoming this addiction makes me feel like I can move mountains.
Tips from my journey:
- Use porn blockers as an initial crutch, but delete them when you feel ready. This was a major step for me.
- Relapses creep up slowly, usually starting with the seemingly innocent act of looking at a picture of a hot girl, using tinder or going on omegle. This micro-relapses almost always escalate to full out binges. To successfully battle porn, you cannot give up an inch.
- Start lifting weights and reading books. The since of betterment you feel will help you overcome depression. Also, lifting weights allows you to release pent up energy and frustration while reading books satisfies the need for stimulation which leads you to porn in the first place
- Find someone to talk to. One of my best friends has been my confidant, cheerleader, drill sergeant throughout. Without him I never could’ve found the strength to complete this journey. Another one of my friends is about to start trying to quit porn, and i plan on helping him along the way.
- Above all: Never, ever, ever give up. No matter how measly your progress might seem, or how little results you see after 90 days of hard mode, you must not give in. Every day you fight your addiction makes it a little weaker. This journey is not an easy one, but it is worth it.
LINK – Success at last- Don’t Ever give up (PIED Cured)
by ironman_1839
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