Since i was about 13-14 years old, i have been fapping every so often. At some point every day, even multiple times a day. But probably for half a year before starting nofap i fapped maybe 3-4 times a week. I didn’t always watch porn to do it. Only when i wanted to “treat myself” to something especially stimulating. The rest of the time it was pictures of bikini/naked girls or videos of girls stripping. Sometimes i only used my imagination. This is why i never thought i had a problem and to this day i understand that some of you have a much more severe addiction than me.
I admire every one of you for doing this. It is not easy for me. It is not easy for anyone. It wasn’t designed to be easy.
I first stumbled upon the idea of stopping this destructive habit about two years ago. Frankly, I thought it was a joke at the beginning so i didn’t get into the matter much at all. I simply continued masturbating and wasting my life.
Now to be clear, even though i was fapping, i was doing reasonably well. My family has always loved me, i have always been a top performer at school and i have always had decent hobbies. However, being an introvert i don’t have a ton of friends and i have never had a girlfriend, or kissed any girl for that matter.
I also have a considerable problem with acne, something that i have never gotten under control. I read somewhere that masturbating and the hormone levels that it destroys have a tendency to worsen the appearance of your skin. Therefore, i decided to do some more research on the matter and landed on r/nofap again. I read through countless posts and even watched a few YouTube videos, which led me to fully understand the ill effects that PMO has on our bodies and minds. The scientific evidence was highly convincive to me and i decided to start the 90 day challenge on 3 February 2017.
My main goals/hopes were:
-Improve my acne situation.
-Be more confident/social, especially around girls.
-Have more energy to exercise (I’m a runner).
-Perform better academically.
-decrease brain fog.
-Have more fun doing the things i love to do.
-take cold showers.
As i said i started off the challenge very motivated. I noticed some benefits right away although i kind of struggled with urges, mainly when i was bored. On day fourteen after school i had some downtime and to my mind came my former favourite porn star. I Googled her name and the (sfw) pictures triggered me. The rest is history. You know it.
I felt horrible and disgusted right away, but i thought to myself: “well, i have already lost my streak, it won’t hurt me if i fap again.” So i did. I felt even more terrible the second time so i stopped and did something else. That was a better decision.
The next day i was more convinced than ever to start a new streak, which i am currently holding. It has been 31 days and my life has improved drastically. The urges are easier to control and i have no intention to ever watch porn or masturbate again. I find it repelling and sad.
The benefits that i have experienced are nothing like “superpowers” which some of you are claiming to have, but they are definitely noticeable. Maybe it is a little bit of placebo, too, but if it makes me feel better then it also counts. Among the benefits are:
- -Improved skin.
- -Better relationships with friends.
- -More outgoing.
- -I smile more and feel happier.
- -I am more confident and walk straighter.
- -More energy to do things (still kind of struggle with this however).
- -Better sleep.
- -More discipline taking cold showers (they’re awesome).
- -Etc. You name it.
But the most important thing and also the reason i am writing this is the following:
I have a date on Saturday. A girl wants to go out with me and spend a nice evening with me.
Now to be honest, i have had a crush on this cute girl for about half a year. But, of course, i have been to shy to talk to her much. Only the occasional conversation, nothing meaningful.
A couple weeks into my second streak though I made up an excuse and texted her. We exchanged some texts every day for a couple weeks and then last Saturday I met her at a friend’s party. We sat down and talked for about an hour and then both went to talk to our own friends. When she left though, i asked her if she would maybe spend some time with me one day. She said yes and that i should text her about it so she would not forget. I did and she replied that she wouldn’t have time this week but she would text me when she does.
I almost thought that she had changed her mind, but today she asked me on text if i wanted to go to this festival on Saturday night. I said yes right away and now i am meeting this cute beautiful girl to go on a date. This is the best day i have had in a while.
To be clear, i don’t intend on trying to have sex with her as fast as possible. I want to spend a nice time with her and secure a second date. From there i will see how things develop. Maybe we’ll have a relationship. When i feel ready and comfortable that she is to stay i am willing to stop my streak of no PMO however. In my opinion, sex with a person you love and trust is infinitely more valuable than fucking someone you don’t even know, or worse, masturbating in front of a computer screen.
Wish me luck. Will report on this post.
Thank you for reading this far my friends. I appreciate your support and wish you all good luck with this journey and, more importantly, with your lives. We can do great things.
Destroy the things that destroy you!
Stay strong fapstronauts.
TL; DR: Started nofap as a super shy dude. Currently on my second streak, 31 days in. I have my first date ever with this cute girl on Saturday. Wish me luck. Stay strong.