I guess I’m different from most people who find themselves here. I’ve always been natural outgoing and never really suffered from anxiety, depression, or confidence issues. Also I didn’t do this for religious reasons. But I’m here because the idea of making me myself the best version was enough to draw me in.
I started reaching streaks of a month or so and seeing results but always fell back into bad habits.But over Christmas break from school I turned into the absolute worst version of myself. I did it 3-4 times a day for the entire two weeks. It was the worst I have ever been. I remember going to Christmas dinner at my grandmothers and feeling like a shell of a human being. So when the New Year rolled around I decided masturbation was no longer going to be a part of my life.
I don’t really feel like going into the beginning struggles because that’s pretty much universal to everyone. Over these days though I’ve learned what I think is most important in life, constant self-improvement. I got into lifting and have gained 15 pounds in the past 4 months completely changing my body. I’ve really opened my mind up and matured as a person and seen my past faults. I’m x10 more introspective than I have been in the past and no longer blame others for my faults. I still have so far to go but I look back and smile on where I have come from. The thing that always makes me stop any bad thoughts is remembering the person at that Christmas dinner and knowing I am not him anymore. I don’t necessarily believe in super powers and I don’t think you’ll find many people past 100 days who do. But I do believe that almost all instant forms of gratification have consequences and masturbation is no different. Do the things that make you smile in the long term not what feels good in the present.
This is probably jumbled and not in great order but its late and I’m just speaking what’s coming to mind. But I’d like to talk a little bit about the dark times during this period. I recently told the girl I’ve liked and borderline been obsessed with for 2 years about my feelings and asked her on a date. It didn’t go my way and it was coming at the end of a bad time. A past version of me would have used this an excuse to delve into everything that was bad for me. But I packed my gym bag had a great leg workout then went on a bike ride with a good friend. I decided to use it as motivation and proof that I still have so much room to become the person I strive to be. In my opinion your success in this journey is limited if it’s for anyone but you. Sure a part of me does this because I think it draws in girls. But at the end of the day it’s for me and me only.
I’m 18 about to turn 19 and finish out my first year of university. Honestly the first time I masturbated to a pornographic magazine was one of my fathers playboy I found and it could of been anywhere from age 7-11 it’s a foggy memory. As far as consistent masturbation to video pornography probably since age 14.
If anyone has any questions or anything like that I’d be happy to answer. Sign me up for another 100 days boys keep strong.
LINK – My story PMO free 2016