I got introduced to fapping when I was about to be 13. I will be 19 years in a few days. The masturbation habit soon became compulsive and I had started to watch porn.
I was completely lost in life, I did not know what to do. I used to have a lot of free time at home. No pressure from others to do anything, so how do I feel good, by masturbating and watching Porn. I would say that I was addicted to masturbation and was introducing myself to watch Porn Compulsively. I have been watching porn for about 4 years.
I will not be listing the effects of those habits.
How I overcame?
It’s a tough question. I will try my best to say something useful.
☆ I had failed Dozens and Dozens of times until I developed a proper strategy/plan that suits me. I had tried to give up masturbation for about 5 years without having the proper knowledge/support.
Never NEVER NEVER Give up. It’s about willpower, patience, emotional stabilty and fulfillment from life. If you are addicted or struggling, think whether any of your needs are not being met in real life. Your emotional needs, social or any other need. Start building your life. Small daily changes is my secret. Many people overlook small changes because they lack patience. They want to have immediate results. That’s the place where many people fail.
■ I made myself busy during the beginning of my streak (During the first two days I had no energy, I was mostly waiting for time to pass)
Not caring about the number of days, living in the moment and making the present day count for something. One important practise was that I woke up earlier in the beginning of my streak (installed a simple alarm clock app on my phone.)
This is an overlooked part. You Must get into a positive attitude. I used to Believe that I cannot stay Clean for more than a week. Once I reached 7 days and binged. I used to Believe I cannot go 8 days. When I reached 8 days and then binged. I believed that I cannot go 9 days. When I went for 9 days and binged. I believed I cannot go beyond 9 days. I then went 11 days, On my 12th day still progressing, I asked for a friend to send me some funny videos. One video had some Pornography. I binged again.
So remember, never put a limit in your mind, live each day well. Learn to manage your Present Moment in the Right manner. Your counter need not be checked everyday, (the counter motivates) but what truly matters is how well you spend your time, compare today with yesterday. Of course, if you make a mistake forgive yourself e.g. waking up late. Forgive and keep moving on.
Having an accountability partner on nofap and texting him everyday has kept me motivated and inspired through my journey. If you don’t have an accountability partner, go and get one. I private messaged a guy who had posted on the accountability partner section after I relapsed on my 9 day best streak. We both started our everyday conversations. We suport each other and that gives a lot of fulfillment too. You need not struggle alone. If you are really committed to your recovery, you must embrace your fears and find a suitable AP.
Why an AP?
As you go along the nofap journey, you may become complacent and forget the importance of staying clean. The AP will remind you everyday when you text him to remain Strong and Clean.
I have kept my Goal as 90 days hardmode. After that I expect Porn or Masturbation to be a choice not a compulsion. Why should I choose to watch Porn or even masturbate. I would not choose it. They are against my standards.
I have now come to realize that PMO and masturbating compulsively has effected me to an extent, where I was unconscious about how much I had been effected. Porn is NOT worth it. Giving up masturbation HAS Many benefits.
Below are some of the benefits I currently enjoy through the PROCESS OF RECOVERY:
♢ Peace and calmness. Knowing that I don’t go against my values.
♢ More love, especially I love girls and women (Good ones) instead of seeing them Sexually. I have more respect for Women those who have Good Personalities.
♢ Better Communication with others and also with girls and women. I used to avoid speaking with girls when I had a dirty mind because of Porn.
♢ Physically I feel Stronger and better…
♢ Ability to Concentrate better.
♢ Willpower and Self Discipline are improving.
♢ Respect from others.
♢ Ability to be True to Myself.
Those are some of the benefits I gained through the process of recovery.
My activities now include:
♤ Reading books by great authors
♤ Exercise i.e. running
♤ Waking up early
♤ Journalling – writing on my journal (Not a diary)
♤ Socializing with good people.
♤ Cold Showers
This is different from Staying at home, wasting time watching TV, fapping and watching porn.
I would also like to mention that Napoleon Hill (author of the bestseller Think and Grow Rich) interviewed thousands of men and women (Success and Failures) and after reading more than thousand books over 25 years concluded that many people succeed after 40 years because they waste their sexual energy prior to that. (Don’t waste your sexual energy in masturbation). Sexual energy transmuted or directed to productive activities can raise a person to the level of genius. Period.
I also use this opportunity to post on the success thread to thank Alexander Rhodes, and also other fellow fapstronauts who supported, encouraged and motivated me to abstain from Porn and Masturbation.
I hope my post inspired you.
Continue Your Recovery.
Enjoy your Nofap Journey.
Live Your Authentic Life.