My 18th birthday was just a few days ago, so I guess I’m technically an “adult” now (I use that term very loosely). Guess what I wished for when blowing out my candles. That’s right… an 18th year completely free of PMO! The other day, while in the shower of course, I had a striking realization I wanted to share with you guys:
Back in 5th grade, when I had my first interaction with porn, there was no scarier moment than disobeying the now familiar message, “Due to federal mandate blahblahblah, you need to be 18 years old to watch this video.” Like the innocent little 10 year old I was, after watching about a minute, I immediately felt great fear and guilt that the police would soon come to take away my parents (LOL!). However, I also felt another emotion… a desperate yearning to fast-forward my life to 18 years old, so that I could legally be able to watch this ‘incredible’ sexual discovery.
In retrospect, aside from the depressing fact that I wanted to bypass eight years of childhood, I find it really sad to think that every time I’ve watched porn throughout the past 17 years, I have been breaking the law. Well, now that I’m 18, I’m proud to say to my naive former self: Now that watching porn is legal for me, I want absolutely nothing to do with it. Talk about ironic…
Throughout my entire adolescence, I have expressed my sexual desires like a child. Night after night, countless and precious hours of my life have been wasted watching artificially stimulating and psychologically damaging porn. Now that I’m an “adult”, it’s time to act like one. I’m putting my foot down, no more porn, no more masterbation. This 18th year will be the best I have ever had!
[I’ve seen[ many benefits including increased confidence, high libido, and finally caring about my physical apprearance. From: Day 40 – Asked a Girl Out to Dinner for the First Time (17 y/o)
- I asked a girl out on a date! For the 17 years I have been on this Earth, I have never actually felt the desire to ask a girl out on a date. Daily PMO has been all I need to feel sexually fulfilled. Without that shit in my life, my libido has been through the roof. I feel more primitive, more alive. Instead of turning to the pixels on my phone as my “mate”, I now feel the need for a real feminine connection.
- Increased confidence! Terry Crews’ video actually brought this to my attention. For the past few years, I have not felt guilt as a result of daily PMO… I have felt shame. Consistent shame knowing that the porn I was watching was escalating, to the point that it even caused me to question my sexuality. For so many years the shame has been diminishing my confidence. Not anymore. I’m still proud of how I was able to walk right up to her and ask her out. I didn’t even care if she said no. Just the fact that I was able to ask her out in the hallway, in front of my physics teacher (LOL!), still amazes me. Furthermore, instead of getting angry or mad at her for the indirect way she went about saying no, I’m simply moving on. It’s her loss.
- I’m finally accomplishing my goals! Back on my first 10 day post, one of the goals I laid out was to ask a girl out on a date. And, well, I finally did! Aside from that specific goal, I have also been accomplishing much more. I started 10 minutes of daily meditation on day 33, and am at the tail-end of my 30 day ab workout challenge. These have both been ways for me to release my sexual tension in healthy ways.
Thanks for reading and continually sharing your stories. I know every one of you can live up to your full potential. I’ll be back on day 60. Until then, stay strong, men!
Yesterday sucked. Ever have one of those days where literally everything goes wrong? Yep, that was my Friday – from the test I took in the morning, to the girl I asked out at night. By the end of the day, I crawled into bed with a splitting headache. It just felt like the odds were against me. In the moment, I thought life simply did not want me to succeed.
Looking back on my day from hell, I’m actually pleasantly surprised. I’m not surprised at how bad it was, but actually at something entirely different – Not once did I even think to PMO. Here’s an interesting analogy to describe it:
It was like I was running a marathon. However, this wasn’t just any marathon. This marathon had many obstacles for me to face – hurdles, rocks, and even giant hills. There was also a shortcut path, which would have provided an easy way for me to skip to the end. While 80 days ago, I would almost certainly have taken that shortcut path, yesterday was completely different. Yesterday, I didn’t even see that shortcut, nor did it even cross my mind. Every time I stumbled, I got back up and fought even harder to get to the end on my own. While it was tough, I eventually made it. I succeeded in my own way.
80 days ago, I was a different person. Just 80 days ago, I would have turned to PMO to alleviate the pain of my failures, and felt shitty afterwords for doing so. But, my brain is changing. No longer do I constantly seek that artificial reward when life goes sour. In fact, I guess you could say that due to its lack of use, my “shortcut path” has started overgrowing, and, in time, will be completely unrecognizable. Instead, I feel the need to keep fighting, and pushing past the hard times. I know every single one of you can do that too! In the words of the great Kelly Clarkson, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
UPDATE – 90 Days Ago… (My Report)
If someone told me 90 days ago that I would…
- Ask three girls out on dates
- Complete a 30-day ab/push-up challenge
- Thank a man in uniform for their service
- Start meaningful conversations with strangers
- Almost make my mom cry (in a good way)
- Hug my sister as she came out as gay to me
- Reconnect with an old friend
- Get accepted to almost every college I applied to
- Pursue my academic passion
- Dream about my future and set long-term career goals
- Crave social interaction
- Solidify a group of 7 new friends
- Celebrate a memorable birthday (18 years old)
- Receive random compliments from others
- Discover my new favorite music artist
- Tweeze my eyebrows to perfection
- Purchase various grooming tools
- Follow a weekly manscaping routine
- Blow-dry my killer new hairstyle every morning
- Sport a designer inspired beard
- Apply cologne daily
- Buy new clothes and reinvent my style
- Raise my hand and actively pose questions
- Stand up to two teachers in the same day
- Share my views with others, unapologetically
- Get second place in a school tournament
- Stop playing video games without even noticing
- Drop the things I’m not passionate about
- Realize that failure is essential to success
- Gain huge balls, both in the literal and figurative sense
- Feel more confident than I ever have before
- Have 9 wet dreams
- Share 9 progress reports on this forum
- Abstain from all porn and masturbation for 90 days
… I probably would’ve punched you in the face.
I can’t stress this enough fapstronauts – I’m a different person now. It seems like just yesterday that I was locked in my room, hammered down with endless college applications as the antisocial, awkward shadow of my new self. Boy, have things changed. With NoFap as a catalyst to improve my life, I can wholeheartedly say that these past 90 days have been some of the best of my entire life. If you’re thinking of relapsing, DON’T! I’ve had some close calls myself, but I’m grateful everyday for my strength to carry on. Also, I need to give a big thanks to all of you for helping me get this far. Every night as I read your stories and thoughts, I’m truly inspired.
90 days, 34 bullet points, and this is just the beginning! I can’t wait to see what the future brings. Please feel free to comment or ask any questions you have about anything. Thanks for reading, stay strong, and… may the odds be ever in your favor!