Long story short I popped my cherry last night. I went out to celebrate my results and was talking to this girl. I went back with her and stayed up the whole night with her.
The fear comes from the first time we tried. I was nervous as hell because I have been struggling with NoFap a lot for quite some time and the fact that I could not get hard was making the nerves a lot worse. I was quite drunk which is why I am not that scared since later in the night the problem gradually went away. I always wanted to pop my cherry with someone I was going out with for a while mainly because I knew something like this would happen.
The relief is way more important to me though. Like I said before, I have been struggling for some time (most of my teenage years, I am 18, coming 19 soon). I am sure a lot of people who visit here is like me and have ended up watching stranger porn kind of thing to get that extra ‘thrill’ and this is where the relief has come from. The part I enjoyed the most about the whole night was inbetween when we were lying there cuddling. This has let me realized that my mind is not as messed up as I originally believed. I can only imagine how much better it would have been if it were to be with someone that I was with and deeply cared about but I now see that that will be a whole different milestone in my life and something to look forward too.
Last night has allowed me to get in the mindset off not just wanting sex. It has let me think off what my priorities actually should be. First step is going to be getting out of my room a lot more. I do believe that we are creatures of habit so developing a habit of sitting on the computer in my room all day is only going to lead to one thing. I will be able to go to a friends house where a few off them are staying which I am sure people here will know that the longest times you go without fapping is when you are with a group of your friends which allows you to gain natural satisfaction through the socializing and distracts you from any negative thoughts.
I am sorry for this being so long but I needed to get this off my chest as I have really been thinking things through all day and I know that this is an awesome community. I hope this can help people that are my situation of the mindset that I had 😀
I’m 18 and discovered porn when I was probally around 10… I first fapped when I was around 8 which in my eyes is really bad. I only discovered nofap at Christmas time and truthfully when I found it things actually got worse… I got it into my head that I had a problem which made me think off it all day and due to pains, I would smoke grass but that always got me into the habbit of fapping straight after so a cycle came off it. The longest Ive went would only be around 6 days since although I will admit last year I had the best year off my life because I was working with my dad every day and quit smoking and drinking and lost alot of weight through progress at boxing although once I got back to the drink things went downhill.. I’m not going to drink as that just leaves me depressed and the days after a night out seem to be the worse (most times in one hangover day would be up to 13, on average around 6/7).
See to be honest, I believe that if I had a girlfriend then my problem would go away. My first and only girlfriend only last for a few weeks and even though I didnt have strong feelings for her, I went away from porn and masturbating altogether…