It’s really strange to think that I’ve gone 90 days of NoFap. It has been one heck of ride and I’m here to share my story in the hopes that some of you guys will be encouraged to keep going because it really is worth the effort.
When I first started off 90 days seemed like a massive challenge that I was really excited and determined to complete. Was it a challenge? Well to start off with it definitely was. But in my opinion it definitely gets easier the further you get. Am I proud of what I’ve achieved? Slightly I guess. To me it just feels like any other day. I’ve grown so used to NoFap and all the benefits that come with it. But it still something I am proud of but I’m definitely not letting that pride make me lose focus on why I started NoFap and what I want to achieve.
My Story and Thoughts
I’ve been masturbating since I was 12. I didn’t think much of it at the time. I was even more inclined to think it was a normal thing to be doing when conversations about it came up among my friends. I don’t think the extent of my addiction was as bad as it could’ve been. But I was regularly PMOing once a day sometimes twice. I’m not going to go into detail about the things I watched but I am going to say I am definitely not proud of the things I would spend time looking at and fully regret all the time I’ve wasted on it. Seriously guys you don’t need it. There are a million better things you could be doing with your time. Go try one of them!
I briefly came across NoFap a year ago and thought it was something I should try. But I could never last longer than a week. I would always convince myself I needed porn. It was normal to PMO and I shouldn’t stop myself. These half-hearted attempts always unsurprisingly failed and eventually I forgot about NoFap for a while. Come New Year’s I thought it was time for a change. I was browsing through all the posts on this subreddit and they motivated me. I wanted all these benefits that I had read about and 90 days ago (I can’t remember when I started!) I started fully committed to getting to 90 days.
For those of you just starting off, seriously it gets so much easier once you get past a week but make sure you do things to occupy your time. Anything. Whatever you feel will benefit you and keep you away from PMO. Once you get into that kind of habit you won’t think twice about fapping.
The most significant change in my life occurred about 3 weeks into NoFap. I decided to go to a party. I’m not usually very outgoing. I like to stay at home gaming. I’m also not very confident and normally very quiet even around my friends. But it was a small party with some friends I knew and some other people I didn’t know and I was convinced by friends to come along and try to socialise. How glad I am that I decided to go! I met a lovely girl there and talking to her was the easiest thing in the world. She lived quite far away from me though and I thought I wouldn’t meet her again after the party but the next day she had added me on Facebook. Turns out she liked me and I liked her. We started talking a lot over Facebook and over two months down the line boom she’s my girlfriend, I’m about to lose my virginity in a few days and I could not be happier.
So is this all because of NoFap? Well, up until two months ago I had never even kissed a girl before. I had pretty much accepted the fact that I would not be getting into a relationship for a long time. I have had so many crushes before and none of them had liked me back. I thought I was the most unattractive guy and that I would have my virginity for a long long time. I definitely think NoFap changed my mind-set. It made me want to go out instead of just sitting at home fapping all my problems away. It gave me the confidence to talk to this girl who I had never met before and we just clicked.
I honestly cannot stress enough how much happier I am after meeting her. She has been a major factor in my NoFap journey. I have told her all about my addiction and my decision to take up NoFap and I talk to her whenever I feel like giving up and whenever I have random urges (even though at times she makes it more of a challenge than actually helping…). She has been extremely supportive throughout though and am very grateful I met her. I don’t know if I would be able to have gotten this far without her.
It hasn’t all been perfect though. I found that my erections did not last very long whenever I was with her. She even went down on me at one point and I could not stay hard. Maybe I was just flatlining or maybe those years of watching and jerking off to porn had caught up with me. She felt bad and thought she was not doing a good job and she wasn’t attractive enough and I felt even worse because I had made her feel like that. It was embarrassing and just awful. But it only served to make me even more determined to keep going, rewire my brain and just fix myself. I did and I eventually got my libido back and now I get full blown erections from just kissing! It’s great!
Some of the benefits I have enjoyed
• Confidence – I talk a lot more in groups of people and found I really enjoy being the centre of attention. A massive turnaround from the quiet guy I used to be. A lot of my friends have made comments about how loud I am now
• Happiness – Just simply feel a lot better about myself. A lot of people have commented on how much more happy I am all the time and I definitely feel like it. Before I would always have ups and downs in my moods. Now a bad mood is really rare and normally when they happen they don’t even last that long
• Energy – I go jogging every morning before breakfast and do exercise in the evenings (I seriously need to think about joining a gym though!). I look forward to exercise now?! I have so much energy and need a way to get it all out of me. Doing exercise and being more active is how I do this.
• Cold showers – Holy crap there is literally nothing better than a cold shower after breaking a sweat working out. They might not be for everyone but for me they are definitely something I look forward to everyday!
• Eye contact – People always mention this one and I have to honestly say I agree with them! It’s not something you really notice but thinking about it I definitely do do it a lot more often.
• Girlfriend – I haven’t known her for long but the fact that there is someone out there that is actually attracted to me just baffles me every time I think about it.
Some things I would recommend
• Bloody get through that first week!
• Find some hobbies or just work out. Find alternative ways of using your time and energy. NoFap is not about replacing a unproductive habits with other unproductive habits
• Confide in someone about your journey. Whether that be a family member, a SO, a friend. Someone who you can talk to about your journey, to talk to when you are wavering and for me someone that you fear will judge you if you break your streak (I do not want my SO hearing I’ve been jerking off!)
• Keep going. Even if it gets rough. You’ve read about my erection problems. Chances are you will reach an obstacle similar to this. Don’t give up! Keep fucking going.
Like I mentioned before. It just seems like any other day for me. It has honestly become a way of life and I am not looking back. I am so glad that I am trying to overcome this addiction at a relatively young age (I am 18 btw). I am happy. It feels great and if this post can motivate someone to keep going and get to whatever goal they hope to achieve then I would be even happier. Thank you for reading and have a lovely day!