It all started in August of 2016, I started dating this girl that I really liked. Things were great and everything was going swimmingly. We moved slow, we had nothing to do and that’s what both of us wanted. Fast forward a couple of months later, I was feeling sexually frustrated, she hadn’t so much as touched my downstairs, I behan to think that she wasn’t interested in me. Finally, things started to to a little better and things started heating up. I wad excited I thought I was ready.
As she touched me, my penis didn’t react and I wasn’t getting hard, I thought that it was just because it was her hand and it wasn’t as interesting as a vagina. We kept going though, she went down on me and I got distracted because I thought someone was coming inside the house, I went completely flaccid.
Again, I thought that it was just her lack of skill in that area, that a mouth or hand couldn’t be as good as her vagina. But it continued to happen every time that we had tried to do anything of the sort. I began to think that my dick didn’t work.
I decided finally to look into it. I found short article talking about sexual anxiety and thought that that was what was going on, that I got too nervous and couldn’t get up. Not the case. I watched videos to help me with it, the videos didn’t work. With every fail with everything that we did, I got more and more worried, after each time I would go home and masturbate to porn to prove to myself that there wasn’t a problen. There was multiple problems. It was depressing, I wasn’t a man, I was stripped of being a man.
After a couple more months, I was still going through my typical PMO, once or twice and day. Those failures did slow me down to maybe 2 times a week. Finally in January of this year is when I had enough. She was ready to have sex, she’s always had a very healthy sex life and no problems down there as I have. She took my hand and took me to the bedroom, things happened and there we were on her bed and I grabbed a condom and tried to put it on, my dick basically shrunk at that second. So I tried to start putting it in, because I remembered that some people if they aren’t hard did that and it would basically get hard. Still to no avail, my dick didn’t work. I told her that we should try again another time.
This feeling, the feeling that I couldn’t do what humans have been doing forever stripped me of my manhood. I was struck, I couldn’t understand it. Most of all, I felt so bad by the way that it made her feel, that she wasn’t good enough and she wasn’t attractive enough. I don’t know what else she felt, but it couldn’t have been good.
I went home late that night, as she repeatedly asked if I was going to be okay, I truly didn’t know. I failed. I looked it up more vigorously and also masturbated for the last time in these 100+ days without porn, hardly with an erection, hardly.any ejaculation. I finally found Your Brain on Porn and began to read and read. It all began to make since. Every time I had been with any girl, I had never been fully erect or very turned on. Time and time again. All the memories reminded me.
I had been introduced to porn at a very young age. 11. 11 fucking years old, a friend and I found his brother’s original iPod that had porn on it and we were shocked, we through it on the couch in shock. After that, a year later I accidentally downloaded a porno trying to download an episode of The Simpsons, Krusty Goes to Jail off of the infamous Limewire. I was intrigued. I began a regular schedule of PMO by the time I was 14, sometimes multiple times a day sometimes not. At my worst, I had even masturbated in a public place, sought out shemale porn, and things I would have never wanted in real life.
After all of this into consideration, that same friend that I saw porn with for the first time and came to me and told me that he was having the same problem as me. I was in a dark way, excited that somebody else I knew in my waking world had the same problem as me, Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction. We talked about it, after a couple weeks and the fail with my girlfriend, I decided to go 90 days. He followed in a softer way.
Without acknowledgement, I had started my streak the day after the failure, after being so disgusted with myself. I found this sub and began reading more about it, all of it came together and made me discover what I had been doing. Because I don’t really have an addictive personality, going 90 days wasn’t as hard for me as it was for others, yet it was still an addiction. Halfway through the 90 days, we tried again. I failed again. Surprised? I was. I thought I would rewire faster because I was with her and doing stuff. But for the first time, I had been turned on enough to achieve an erection albeit very weak and didn’t last long.
Finally, getting to the end, at 90 days I was finally done. I didn’t want to end the streak though, I didnt even want to masturbate. So I’m continuing the streak. Finally, last night we got back to my house after a very late night. A couple days before we had tried to have sex, but failed for a different reason. I couldn’t get it in. The best problem I could have. And then again last night we had about 40 minutes and we tried again, same problem. Then finally again, we were alone with time. I was able to get a boner with her, fully erect from her touching me, and had successful sex, lost my virginity.
[My penis is] extremely sensitive again, I easily get erections like I did when I was younger.
[Any other benefits?] Able to be honest without regret, plus most of those others that other people have. I’m 18.
At long last, I over came my worst nightmare. Overall, all I can say is that if you ever have children, teach them how bad porn is and the combination of masturbating with it can be. I was never taught that so I always considered it to be a normal thing. Please teach who you can and help stop this future generation as it is already affecting many people now.
Thank you for reading, I will try to answer any questions you may have. I have no boundaries, don’t feel like you can’t ask. Stay strong in your journey and don’t give up.
LINK – PIED Cured, Full Story, AMA