I went 90 days without jerking off. It doesn’t really feel like an accomplishment at this point. It just feels like life. I’m alive. I’m not a machine who’s sole purpose is to watch other people have sex and simulate it with my hand.
On the other hand, making it this far isn’t the god-becoming experience some in this sub would have you believe. You won’t get girls checking you out left and right as a result. You won’t have motivation to do everything your heart desires. (Though, you’ll certainly have more.)
Here I’m going to break up my 90 Days into phases I experienced:
Day 1-20: Hell. I was fighting the hardest urges, and experiencing minimal results. I had been trying to quit fapping for over 6 years(!), but this time I made it past simply by sticking with it; I just didn’t give in. It was lonely too; Porn/Masturbating had kind of perceptively replaced my need for friendship/contact. Luckily, I have a stellar group of friends that always made effort to hang out with me, even when I put forth minimal effort in return. I think a big part of my success is due to them.
Day 21-40: This is where I started appreciating the subtleties of life. I was hypersensitive to every sensation, every feeling. Unfortunately, this also meant I was overemotional. The ups and downs I experienced during this part were insane. The temptation to fap was also very up/down. I went some weeks without a single boner. Some days, the temptation was so strong I was sure I would have to reset my streak. This is also when I started noticing the beauty of women, apart from their bodies. I noticed their smiles, their noses, eyes, hair. I also had a heightened self esteem and confidence, so talking to girls was easier. I had more motivation to work out and work on personal projects.
I think of this time as a kind of “honeymoon” phase of NoFap. My theory is that noticing all these improvements made me hypersensitive to any positive in my life, causing my mind to exaggerate the benefits.
Day 41-90: This is when the urges got easier to thwart and the benefits of NoFap just became normal life. I experienced 5 wet dreams during this period; one was very close to the end. They sucked. The temptation is 10x worse the next day, and I almost gave in once or twice. Also, all the advantages from semen retention are gone from wet dreams. The only advice I can give for avoiding wet dreams is: don’t sleep in. 3 out of 5 of my wet dreams happened when I slept in. I don’t know why, but I’m sure it had to with sleeping in. Like I said, most of the advantages to NoFap faded into regular life. It felt very normal.
Now: I still notice girls and really enjoy talking with them, but I usually only want their friendship. Many see NoFap as a way to get girls instead of fantasizing about them. I think it’s more about realizing that women are human beings, and not some goal to put on your life checklist. I find not fapping has allowed me to interact with girls the same way I would with guys: platonically. If anything, NoFap has taught me to stop putting girls on a pedestal. I’m 18, just about to start university. The right girl will come along one day. For now, I’ll just focus on making meaningful friendships and starting my career.
But the fight isn’t over. Don’t ever think that if you pass the 90 day post you’re free. You’re addicted to rubbing a part of your body, so it will always be accessible. The temptation will come back, it always does. I’m still not sure I’m done for life. For all I know, I’ll be really down some day and fall back into the trap. BUT, now that I’ve conquered it once, I know I’ll be able to again.
Don’t look at Nofap as the end of your journey. It’s just the beginning. It’s possibly the hardest self improvement task you’ll ever face, but it’s not the “be all, end all.” If you’re addicted to masturbating, chances are you have some other bad habits. Fix those.
That’s where I’m at, trying to end bad habits, trying to learn/prepare for my career, trying to deepen friendships, trying to improve my mental and physical health. Nofap is an excellent starting point for all these things, but they’ll still require effort. A ton of it, But do it anyway. Never stop improving.
So, thank you NoFap! The reward might not have been as sensational as some of you described, but it was so worth it.
And to those who’re struggling: Never give up. I couldn’t quit, no matter how hard I tried, for 6 years. Keep trying no matter what.
[I started nofap due to] Lack of motivation, not being able to talk to girls, Lack of self esteem.
LINK – 90 Days: A realistic report