I want from february 1 to may 1, and wow was it interesting. I’m writing now to share with you guys what it may be like for you and how it was for me. At first it was hard. Really hard.
The first three or four weeks were torture. I have a few fetish sites that I have subscriptions to that i was DYING to look at but my girlfriend was my biggest motivation. I love her so much, and it became clear when I was with her that I was no where near able to have sex with her. I couldn’t stay hard, and it did not feel good. She ended up saying something in the heat of the moment when it was her turn for hands that really hurt, and she was devistated after she had realized what she said, and ever since then it motivated me to actually be able to have sex with her. I had tried talking to a therapist for the first month in hopes for help in geting better, but i feel it was a fucking waste. He told me PIED didn’t exist and my troubles were from anxiety. I don’t get anxiety and the outdated fucker had no idea what he was talking about. My mental state and comfortability with my girlfriend had not changed since day 1 and I have never been depressed. PIED is as real as it gets and do not let anyone tell you differently.
Before february 1, I had tried starting the 90 day challenge but I either couldn’t resist jacking off or I jacked myself off with my girlfriend. Over a month I was doing this and this did not seem to be helping at all. After she said what she said, I decided cold turkey was needed. She is always horny, and this was especially tough since in the beginning it hurt for her to jack me off and give me head. I would mainly pleasure her and she would try with me a bit but it would never go anywhere. After day 17, and I would NOT hold that date to be an official checkpoint for you guys, she was able to make me climax. I was so happy. After that every now and then she’d make me climax. It would hurt a large amount of the time, but if i didn’t focus on the pain or had some nice images in my head or looked and focused on her, it would help a lot. Giving me oral sex still hurt for quite a while, but hand sex would work most of the time and didn’t really feel too bad most of the time.
Slowly it would get better and better. Oral would start to hurt less and turn into it feels like nothing, after about a month she would be able to get me hard with oral and not just her hand. I worried that either her hand was replacing mine or me imagining things during hand/oral sexy time was not healthy. We would try sex and I still wouldn’t be able to keep it hard, it made me feel so bad. Even after 60 days I woulnd’t be able to stay hard so it was so discouraging. I had also at this time been looking at porn for about 2 weeks starting at about 50 days withoutjacking off and my advice here would be DO NOT do this. I learned its not just about the physical hand work its also the mental looking at images and videos. This regressed me back a few weeks in my opinion but im not sure.
Even up to 60 days she couldn’t get me to cum while I was laying down. In order to climax I had to stay in the sitting position im used to. After 70 days and ging back to cold turkey, I was doing great. Pain was rare with hand stuff and oral was starting to feel good. After I hit the 80 day mark, i began DYING to jack off. I could not wait to get to 90 just to jack off.
Its funny 90 days was a pretty awesome day. I saw the midnight of Avenegrs 2 and came home at 3am to realize 90 days was up. I rushed to jack off and gosh did it feel amazing. I had done it twice in a row and loved it. HOWEVER as scared as i was to do this in programming myself masterbating was bad, my fears were prooven untrue. It’s may 4th and i’ve had no desires to jack off that i couldn’t easily control. Hand and oral sex is still great with my girlfriend, although for whatever reason may 2nd it hurt when she gave oral, but i had already climaxed with her previously that day.
The biggest finding: sex. We tried sex may 2nd, and it wasn’t what i wanted but boy was it a big jump. I could stay hard, and it actually felt a tiny bit good. I wasn’t able to climax nor did i think i’d be able to from how it felt, but i was so happy i could actually have sex now. I could keep an erection though, and that was my happiest realization. I guess i am still healing, 90 days may not be enough or it may have been the porn viewing during the healing, i’m not sure, but all i know is the 90 day challenge gave me a lot to work with. Right now i am trying to find out how much is ok to jack off, im sticking with once a week, so i guess ill see if i regress, don’t change, or continue to heal.
So that’s my story fellow strongmen, I went from masterbating 3 times a day to how I am now. Any advice on jacking off after the challenge is greatly needed and appreciated and any questions you guys have please ask i’ll respond to them all.
LINK – Its been 90 days.