I thought I should share my perilous journey with you guys. Though my post is going to be long and boring but I’m sure that might encourage nofap aspirants and those who have been already struggling. Since all these symptoms, withdraw and recovery vary from person to person. So this post is just a motivation and an experience. Don’t take it as bible.
Well guys, I’m 28 years old man, graduated from university. I had been masturbating since I was 8 and started watching porn at the age of 17, almost 20 and 11 years have gone wasted.
How PMO effected my life.
Since I had started masturbation at very early stage it has deteriorated my personality and made grave effects.
01-It had snatched me confidence, though I was genius and hard working, favourite of teachers but never had confidence to utter a word in class in my childhood and teenage.
02-It has induced me social anxiety, I couldn’t say a word infront of strangers.
03-I was shy to face girls and women.
04-I was reader and had lot of stuff in my mind but never been able to recall at the time of need, I blame fapping and pornography for memory loss.
05- it had brought me laziness.
Unfortunately when I found high speed internet things gone worst. I had got addicted to porn which brought gravest effects on my life.
01-It gave me constant fear of being caught, I was always afraid that anytime police would be at my door, since it was illegal to visit sexual explicit sites.
02-My memory got worst.
03-Social anxieties increased, for four years of my university, I had never attend a single event, God knows how many parties, get together, welcome,farewell, music concerts, exhibitions I had missed. Besides that afraid to face people although I was brilliant, knowledgeable and being technological savvy, people were asking about me at university but I was always reluctant to face them.
04-From last two years, I had been having suffering from slight male pattern baldness.
05-I had started gaining weight, due to hours of watching porn every days.
06-always been looking women as sex objects. 07- Had lost stamina, for vigorous exercise.
08- pornography and masturbation dragged me into urinary incontinence.
and there is infinite list of damages caused by these two evils.
This year, I finally decided to get rid of these evils. I started my journey at May 30, 2016 and today I have reached day 90, I have been feeling so many benefits.
I had never thought that I will complete my journey of 90 days without being relapse again and again. But thanks to God, I asked for His help, trust me guys praying give confidence and make your perils easy for you. I mustered courage and started to go on. Luckily soon I was hit by Muslims holy month of Ramadan (fasting month) which help me a lot to suppress my urges. I would recommend you too, if you can’t overcome your urges (do fasting). Secondly I was hit by flatlines, unending flatlines, most depressing one, not just one but four times but I was ardent not to fell in common trap or porn or fapping. I took them as challenges and fight against. Though all those times I did nothing productive just lying on bed doing this and that but didn’t even try to fap or watch screen pixel. My first flatline hit me in second week and last one was at day 73. You might feel withdrawal symptoms like insomnia, anxiety and sadness but they will go in couple of days. Never, ever give up.
Relapse your addiction with your hobbies, I started learning two proto -indo European languages that kept me very busy.
01-I have gain back confidence.
02-Social anxiety is gone by some extent.
03-My memory is improving.
04-I have so many future plans and I always think to have high aims for future, (preparing myself for marathon).
05- learning two languages.
06- decided to participate country’s competitive exam (wish me luck BTW).
07-brain fog is going away too.
08-going good with martial art.
09- now I have been relieved from urinary incontinence.
10-though still haven’t experience any wet dream yet.
11- shedding away weight, I think there is a relationship between nofap and metabolism, not sure but I shed almost 4 kg during these three months.
12- my sleep has been improved.
13-my brain had wired sleep and masturbation and I use to do masturbation every single night for sleep for almost 15 or 18 years but finally I have rewired it. Now I sleep without fapping.
It has improved my erection too yet I’m not married and since I’m Muslim it’s forbidden to have sex except with spouse in Islam. So I can’t say anything about my libido and erection.
Still I feel, this isn’t enough, loss that have received in 20 years can’t be recover in just 90 days, I’m going to get it; to any extent. It’s doesn’t matter if I have to go for next 90 days or 365 days or years, I will go to get it.
And I’m here to help you guys, please feel free to ask me, I’d be happy to sort out.
One last thing, please ignore my spelling and grammar mistakes, since I have been writing from phone and and unable to read.
LINK – my 90 days perilous journey