Age 19 – For the first time in my life I feel like I’m truly conscious

It took me around 3 months of various 7-15 day streaks, but as of today ladies and gentlemen, it has been 30 days that I’ve been on the nofap. And boy has it ever been ridiculously overwhelming.

Notable changes in my life don’t seem as notable anymore – they’ve become an everyday reality. I don’t wake up everyday basking in the glory of my new found lifestyle; I just simply am.

Take my father for instance. He left on a trip 20 days ago and just came back last night. Upon greeting his arrival, I instinctively hugged him and told him ‘Welcome back. We’ve (my brother and I) missed you.’
While this may sound normal, let me assure you that for someone like me, this is revolutionary. I have never been able to express my love for my father so openly and confidently. He even mentioned how different I was now.

I’ve been best friends with a girl for the past 8 months, and after a string of shitty dates with others, we both realized we were kind of really compatible. So I asked her out and she said yes. She’s pretty excited for our date next Friday too. We plan on going out for a walk, then hitting up some pubs and getting plastered. Good stuff.

As for school, I find myself actually putting in the work required. Like the nofap, school is nothing more than dedication and persistence. With school ending, I’ll have plenty of time to work on a company a couple of my close friends and I started. For once in my 19 years of existence I’m actually looking forward to the future.

For the first time in my life I feel like I’m truly conscious – I feel 100% in control of my actions and of my direction in life. As someone who spent his whole high school stoned, I am just learning what it means to be productive and composed. I’m learning the meaning of hard work.

I’ve been working out casually for the past 2 years but I’ve never been serious about it. I didn’t care about my form when lifting weights too much, I didn’t use a program, and I most certainly didn’t diet. For the past 3 months I’ve successfully bulked 15lbs with 5g the creatine and 70% of my body weight in lbs in grams of protein per day. Now I’m cutting, and these past 2.5 weeks I’ve lost 4lbs without my weights suffering. I’m currently taking 200mg caffeine and 24mg of ephedrine daily to help with the cut. People notice. Feels good, man.

The Internet no longer screams of shame for me. I find myself browsing multiple subreddits that have helped. me grow on the no fap, they are:
r/the redpill

I would recommend this shit to everybody. This world is a fucking resource if you want something from it. Go out there and get it if you really want it.

And who doesn’t want it.

So this is where it takes a turn.

It’s been hard, really hard. Feeling emotions isn’t fucking easy. I hate remembering my depression and getting anxious whenever responsibility comes around. I’ve cried for the first time in 6 years on this journey. I’ve written poetry to try and cope with the bullshit emotions I’m feeling. The other day I started writing in a journal but using the 3rd person instead of the 1st. I summarize my life like a short story, ‘Today, he went to the gym and….’ and so and so.

This exercise made me realize how fundamentally fucking BORING I am.

Picked up playing piano, trying to read a book a week, plans to go to concerts and raves…. life is meant to be lived God fucking dammit.

LIVE IT. You’re doing it right now. Make the best out of it.

I no longer view porn in the same fashion. It’s unappetizing. They’re pixels and compressed mp3 files of moans and groans. Sure, everyone appreciates a nice body, but what’s the point if it’s not there to be appreciated in person?

Like seriously. ‘Oh my what a nice ass.’ SO FUCKING WHAT. It’s not in front of you, that’s your phone, and you’ve got your dick in hand yet again.

You can’t fuck the women from porn. At least most of us can’t. You can’t take them out and show them how fucking alpha and God damn interesting you are. You can’t make them laugh, or hold them in your arms right after you guys shag (if you’re into that cuddly shit). You two will never get along, and she’ll never give you anything more than just enough excitement to once again regret the mess you made in your lap.

You can’t make your life any better with porn. At least I can’t. When you’re viewing porn, you’re sacrificing for a short term gain. What good does 15 seconds of dopamine do for you? What need have you of an actual release? What are you running away from? Do you even want to have real sex?

This post isn’t going to be taken too seriously. Hell, I could be lying my ass off for all you know, and I could be writing this for the sake of my own enjoyment.

But what I do know is that one of you, maybe more, will finally snap out of it and quit the faps forever.

I know I did.

LINK – TLDR made it to 30 days

by emptyvisionaries