Age 19 – HOCD: Hard as a rock and able to finish for the first time ever with a girl

The other night I had a sexual fling with this one girl and was hard as a rock and was able to finish, which had never happened to me in the presence of a girl.

I’ve been off this site for a while now but I am several months clean of PMO and very close to the 90 day mark of no MO.

NoFap won’t maybe, or probably enhance your sex life, IT WILL enhance it. Believe in yourself. You DON’T need this crap in your life! Best of luck to you all.

LINK – Triumph Attained

by Pixelated Victory


 

INITIAL POST 

Hello people,

I am brand new to NoFap, but have heard of this site on Youtube before. I started masturbating in general probably around the age of 12 and pretty much have consistently done it everyday for 6-7 years usually ranging between 1-3 times a day. Porn was sometimes in the picture, but most of the time I used my imagination.

I am now 19 and about a month ago I developed this scary condition called HOCD, which I assume some of you already are aware of. It all started when I had this disturbing gay dream that involved my friend. I have to see him everyday because I work with him, so the next day was pretty uncomfortable. I started to question my sexuality and if I actually enjoyed the dream. My mind turned my world completely upside down. I started to examine guys more closely, even though it was not wanted at all. “Am I attracted to him?”, I would ask over and over again. And then the intrusive gay sex thoughts arrived. My mind would go searching for any questionable thing I may have done in the past as premises to prove that I could be gay/ bi. I decided to abstain from PMO and MO, because I believed that would only fuel this evil deception even more. I went two full weeks without masturbating out of pure fear and disgust. The next two weeks I only MO’d twice.

I have never had feelings for a man. I WANT to be a straight male that is attracted to women and attracts women. Although my addiction to masturbation was strong, it never got to the point where I was jerking off to any gay things. When I was much younger, maybe 14 or so and couldn’t use the higher quality sites from my iPod touch at the time, sometimes gay porn pop ups would show up even though I was watching straight sex. That’s about as much gay porn I’ve seen in my life, just a few pop ups years ago, yet it still scars my brain.

If these intrusive gay thoughts turn out to be from porn (just from seeing naked dudes give it girls), hopefully my abstinence from PMO and MO will destroy them all together. I have only masturbated four times in the past month, and hopefully with NoFap I can completely get rid of this bad habit. All I want is a normal life, free of HOCD and a healthy, masturbate- free sex life.

If any of you conquered HOCD or are still trying to, lets support each other. Thanks.