I am a 20 year old man, I have no interest for instant-gratification. I don’t look at porn and have great self-respect for myself. For my own personal reasons I decided to be abstinent till I’m married. Today I have completed 90 days of NoFap.
In this report I will tell you about my history of PMO, make a comparison between the old and new me and provide you with some things that’ve helped me to make it this far. I focus more on the change in mindset that NoFap has caused then a list of superpowers.
My history of PMO:
It all started when I was 13 year old. I learned about masturbation being a HEALTHY and NORMAL thing in school and was curious about it. Soon afterwards I began fapping. After a couple months I watched my first porn and this felt amazing I was hooked.
PMO began with short soft/hard/extreme clips which I purely watched out of curiosity and pleasure it made me feel like I was a normal and healthy boy. On average I’d spend about 30 mins on PMO and fap a couple times a week.
After a year or so I discovered long clips and ended up watching only hardcore fetish porn. And spending at least 2 hours every day looking for the perfect porn clip. Reasons to PMO: Feeling bored, Feeling lonely, Feeling horny, Feeling fear, Feeling sad, Feeling depressed, Desiring pleasure, Want to feel normal.
As one can deduce I used PMO to escape from all the discomfort in my life.
In the last weeks of 2014 I reached the limit of my addiction. Having just entered college there were some very stressful periods in which I fapped 5-7 times a day. In these periods I noticed I was extremely depressed (even more depressed than usually) and tired. So I wondered if maybe fapping could have negative effects and started googling here I Discovered the NoFap movement. Thank God (for atheÏsts read: all positive things in life) it exists.
Comparison between the old and new me: Person Description of the old me: I am a very ambitious person and spend most of my time daydreaming about all the things that I could do and be in my future, but how will I ever do accomplish these dreams? I have no clear plan how to achieve those dreams tough, nor do I have any specific goal in my mind, I’ll just study and then somehow in the future things will happen. (Brain Fog (Being deceived by a lie, not seeing the truth), Lack of Motivation)
I should have a super model girlfriend , because she looks good so she must be good right? I’m a great catch why would I do any effort in approaching women, they should approach me! don’t to do anything to get a women, somehow in the future there will appear a great one in my lap, because I’m so awesome right? (Brain Fog, Complete Retard) I like to play video games, watch tv/series an molest my penis alone behind my computer and the rest of my time I study. Here I feel comfortable why would I ever leave this place.
The world is only about looks and talent, some people have these but I don’t, there’s no hope for me. I have no friends, have paruresis (difficulty peeing in public) and have no girlfriend why Do I even bother living. Why doesn’t anyone help me. (Depression, Brain Fog, Lack of Motivation)
Person Description of the new me: I’m a very ambitious person and spend some of my time dreaming about the future. I know however that it won’t be easy to achieve my dreams. It will be a great adventure to achieve this dream and I wonder how far I can get. Every second that I waste on instant-gratification is my own responsibility. I can spend my time on instant-gratification but it will only make me feel good in the short term and will never make me feel fulfilled. I have to work every day towards achieving my dreams if I don’t nothing will change I will stay the same as I was yesterday. In order to achieve my dreams I make a plan with achievable smaller goals which contribute to the end goal combining the smaller plans I make clear progress towards achieving my dreams. (Clarity of sight (see reality), Motivated).
Women may be gorgeous but that doesn’t mean they’re good for me. I like the company of women and enjoy flirting with women. There are other men out there for them to choose as well. If I’m interested in a women I have to make a move right now, If I don’t someone else will.
Being the best version of me and making a move will definitely improve my odds. There’s more to life than sex and looks women aren’t everything, there are so many great adventures to live. (Clarity of sight, Confidence)
I avoid instant – gratification at all costs and spend all of my time working towards my dreams I get great bliss from this it’s like on of these adventures I used to watch in movies. Only in the company of others I make an exception once in a while. Escaping from my problems won’t get me further in live. I know that in order to get ahead in life one has to go out of there comfort zone. I take cold-showers almost every day to keep myself aware of this. I also know that it’s of utmost importance to stay very disciplined at all times. If I allow just a bit of laziness or avoid the cold shower others like stress and fear will follow. From my Nofap Journey I learned how to deal better with feeling uncomfortable:
When I’m stressed I take a break and do some deep breathing, listen to some peaceful music. Then I think of a way to make progress in solving the problem. I don’t care if I Fail, cause then I get the free opportunity to learn a valuable lesson. When I’m afraid I analyze my fear and face it, cause I know not facing it will not get me ahead. I’m always busy so I never get bored. If I’m lonely then that’s because I feel the desire to have contact with someone else, and so I do. I channel all of my sex drive towards achieving my goals and this puts me in a godlike state which I absolutely love it’s like human super sayan, but everytime I slip in my tight discipline and let feeling like fear in the drive becomes hornyness and It becomes a struggle. When I feel sad I cry, I’m not ashamed of crying nor do I look sad when crying most of the times I laugh when I cry. Crying always helps feeling better afterwards. I’m never depressed since I avoid instant-gratification my dopamine receptors are doing great even the slightest things in life make me feel happy and sad. I feel great, better than normal and do not wish to feel normal. My days have 2 options: Godlike or Sexually Frustrated (SuperHorny). When I slip in discipline or have a wet dream I tend to get Sexually Frustrated. (Fearlessness, Confidence, Self-Control, Clarity of Sight)
The truth is the world is what you choose to view it as. You have the ability to control your own thoughts. I face the difficulties in my life and don’t w8 for someone to help me. I take my problems one at a time. I prepare for my problems like a war and conquer them. I feel like a great men. Every day is an adventure to me being free from the PMO cycle I can now see once again the world with childlike passion.
Things that’ve helped me to make it this far (and my vision of why they work):
1) Cold Showers: the key point of getting stuck in this cycle is the need for relieve of discomfort by using cold showers you force yourself to deal with the discomfort and weaken the cycle.
2) With the NoFap journey comes an extraordinary amount of energy driving you like no other. You can either choose to learn how to handle this energy and enter godlike mode or let it go out of control and release it with PMO. This is how I’d guide my past self to handle this energy:
2.1)In the beginning stages of NoFap the energy will be very uncontrollable. A great way to get it to manageable levels is by exercising 3 times a week or more. This will make the urges a lot more bearably.
2.2) Find a goal that has meaning to you and devote this energy to it, functions like exercise.
2.3) Now the energy is more bearable you’ll need to prepare your mind for dealing with discomfort. How? Stay away from negative influences, how do I recognize these? They make you feel : 1 or more of the things from the downward spiral afterwards. http://www.200maction.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/241-relax-and-succeed-upward-spiral-downward-spiral.jpg . You can also use a wrist band to make your brain associate negativity with pain this benefitted me.
2.4) Find out what you’re trying to escape with PMO and learn how to deal with them. How do I Learn this? Research about it on google and try out different approaches see what works with you. My ways of handling with mine (see new me part). Once you get a handle on these the desire for relieve through PMO will disappear making the journey very easy.
Books that have helped me with 2) and provide better explanations Napoleon Hill Think and Grow Rich: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Grazszumy6c Napoleon Hill Outwitting the Devil: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hV-7kwFjfTQ Paruresis Treatment System (for paruresis people).
LINK – Nofap 90 Day Report Freedom