Age 20 – I suffered from clinical depression, major anxiety, paranoia, OCD and mild ADHD: I’ve also been waiting 3 years to write this post


Where to begin..? That is the big question. It’s hard to know what to write because these past 3 years (and 90 days) have turned into a really elaborate story, and all I want is to be able to effect a lasting and permanent change in someone so that they may experience something similar to what I have experienced. (I’ve also been waiting 3 years to write this post so bear with me as I engage in verbal diarrhea).

I’ll start off by saying that, in my opinion, the most important factor for success in NoFap is persistence. My favourite quote for NoFap is, “A river cuts through rock not because of its power, but because of its persistence”. This is the only advice I will give you: always be hungry and never give up. I never gave up and that is why I am where I am today.

So let me tell you what life has been like for me for the last decade or so:

  • I was bullied in high/secondary school.
  • I suffered from debilitating, clinical depression that went untreated for most of my teen years.
  • I suffered from major anxiety, paranoia, OCD and mild ADHD.
  • I led an extremely isolated lifestyle due to my mental health being so bad, and I literally only had my younger brother as a friend throughout my teen years.
  • Girls never used to take me seriously because I never had any self-respect.

Long story short, my teen years were hell… No friends. No parties. I don’t think I need to tell you that I never had any girlfriends. The list goes on, my life was utter shit.

Let’s go back in time for a moment… I discovered porn and masturbation when I was 10 and I’m 20 now. I officially started NoFap when I was 18. So I PMOed for a good 8 years, daily. But I used to be religious, and I felt that PMO was against God’s will, and so I tried my very best to stop. Its worth saying that at this point I didn’t know anything about /r/NoFap, I literally thought I was the only guy in the world trying to stop watching porn.

Then, by sheer luck, I discovered /r/NoFap and it lit a fire under my ass like never before. It’s funny, because I remember going 12 days hardmode and feeling like I was gonna explode. Anyways let’s move on.

I, luckily, have always had an accountability in my brother. I would definitely recommend getting someone you see everyday, face-to-face to become your accountability partner.

(I know not everyone is fortunate enough to have a sibling they can rely on. Try ‘converting’ some of your very closest friends. I’ve converted two friends in the last 3 years and one of them is on 150 days right now… Not bad huh?)

So what’s changed in the last 90 days? My main problems have been low self-esteem and the inability to form meaningful friendships.

As of day seventy-something, I am a fun person to be around because my self-esteem has risen. That has made me a more confident person and more able to form friendships, which has made me more confident, which has made my self-esteem rise… See how NoFap starts feeding on itself and growing?

At 90 days, I feel like I am the beginning of the rest of my life, my new life.

Here’s to another 90! Good luck!