I’m 20 y/o from Germany and my life has always gone rather well – well, objectively. I got good grades in school in all, had a nice girlfriend, all that stuff. But while I originally knew myself as a happy, outgoing, motivated person, I felt my energy draining continuously with the years.
About three months ago, I had no drive to do anything at all: I neglected all my social contacts, minimizing my circle of friends to about one person which I’m glad to still know because I had been keeping contact rather badly. I was unhappy about my relationship but did not have the power and courage to end it, fearing that I would be all alone and incapable of living life on my own. I also felt extremely sexually frustrated. I was about to break off my second major degree and felt completely unsecure about what I really wanted. Of course, I jerked off a huge lot to “relieve the pressure”.
Then, I realized I had to change something about my life or I while totally fail in making my life a happy one for myself. That’s when I discovered NoFap. Since then, things have changed for the better – and of course not by a magic hand or something. Things don’t just change because life rewards you for going through this challenge. No, I changed them myself because I was no longer superpassive and tired of myself. Right now, I have a one-month-streak under my belt and I don’t see why I would break it. I feel stronger than ever. (PS: Sorry for misunderstandings if my English is a little off.)
- First off, I don’t feel any superpowers. Yes, I am much better than before but in a, well, natural way. I am much more confident, I can look people in the eye, I’m in a great mood 90% of the time which makes life so much more comfortable. While I used to be a extremely grumpy person in the last fest years, my colleagues often tell me that I’m their “sunshine” now.
- I started a new job and found my vocation in it, now knowing what I actually wanna study. Without NoFap, I never even had the courage to start that job because I was afraid of it (working in a hospital).
- I have probably made more friends in the last month than in the two years before.
- Three independent people complimented me to have a very deep/masculine/charismatic voice. I don’t think this has much to do with testosterone but much more with my own level of confidence.
- I had the courage to quit on my girlfriend. We were together for 5 years (since we were 15) and it was a huge and painful step because I still appreciate her quite a lot as a person but not as my lover. It is hard right now but thanks to NoFap I am able to cope with it. I can see myself get into another more amazing partnership someday because I have a much better opinion of myself now than months back.
- I made more gains at the gym while at the same time actually losing 7kg of fat.
- Don’t know if that is that important but my dreams have become really vivid and appear often.
There are several other benefits but these are the biggest.
So yeah, I is totally worth it. Every time I’m on the brink of relapsing, which I have thought about more since the breakup, I remember where I would be without NoFap.
- Don’t edge. Really. Don’t do it. It’s the absolutely worst thing to do. Even if you don’t count edging as reapsing (which it absolutely is), once you start edging, it’s just a matter of hours or days in which you will relapse.
- Have a goal. Look at a certain bad thing in your life you want to change and realize that this will only be possible if you’re disciplined enough to not fap. NoFap is not only you getting rid of your addiction, but also you getting a lot more disciplined and self controlled.
- Don’t beat yourself up about a relapse. I found my relapses to be really helpful in the retrospective because I was able to adjust changes to avoid them in the future. Realize that the challenge your going through is really hard and only mastered or even tried by very few people. It is absolutely natural to fail. Just start over again. I also observed that after a relapse, as many have already stated, your progress isn’t lost. Of couse, a relapse is a step back, but not as big as many seem to think. BUT you won’t be making any progress if you relapse all the time. You have to avoid it by any means if you wanna change.
- Definitely do some kind of sport. I helps to release the energy you normally blew with your load. Get a job. Start a new hobby. Anything to kill the time you once wasted jerking off helps.
- Most important: Look into the FUTURE. Right now you might be miserable. Right now you might want to PMO. Right now you seem to have no friends at all. Right now you see yourself as completely unattractive and unable to talk to woman. BUT THAT WILL CHANGE IF YOU CHANGE IT. Don’t give in to the mindset of “it’s all useless anyway”. NO, it isn’t. You have to go through a hard time. But: Imagine yourself in three months. In half year. In a year. If you don’t change anything, you will still be miserable then. But if you START to change it right now, you will be so much better. Cling to that future image of yourself.
So grab life by the horns, start by getting yourself in control of yourself again. It’s worth every second of it.
I’ve been lurking for about two months now. I just wanna tell a little bit of my story to give you the motivation to not give up. I wish you all the very best, stay strong.