I just passed day 60. I am here to share what kind experiences I have had over this streak. I have been trying this for three years and this has been a really successful streak. Personal Best trick for avoiding Fapping: Whenever I feel an urge in public I do a series of breathing exercises to help me relieve the urges.
I also rehearse it 3 times a day where I visualize the effects of urge coming on and then I instinctively perform these exercises. It helps cut out not only the porn, but also a lot of the fantasizing I also journal twice a day to make sure my mind is in the right place when it comes to addiction/life and just to talk to myself to be more aware of my current situation. Also exercise/ cold showers/ meditation everyday
Breathing exercises: 4-4-4×4 breathing breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4, out for 4. Do that 4 times. Breathe 10 deep breathes
Anxiety: I am at day 60 and I can tell you the anxiety has been a complete night and day thing. It’s not that I don’t feel anxiety anymore, but it has gone down very significantly. Before, I would go to a social event, I would be extremely nervous about getting judged or people just thinking I was a weirdo. I was extremely nervous that women will reject me. Now I go out and yeah I still do get a little anxious, but I can now talk really freely at these things, I am excited to go out and try and live life.
Mood/Emotions: This one is a mixed bag for me. I sometimes feel ok but sometimes I feel so depressed at life. I just think about something and I just get crazy feelings of depression, where I just want to lay down for a while a just not move. I just feel so down about things a lot of the time. You may read this and think that this is different from what other people tell you on this thread, but its not that simple. It may be because I am experiencing flatline, and even if I haven’t, I have felt like the depression has been a constructive thing, it has allowed me to reevaluate my life and think about how to live a good life, what I actually want out of the one life I get to live. It has changed from the disgusting low porn and masturbation to a very thought provoking and constructive low. The truth is also probably that the depression is all of the problems I have hidden from using porn to numb the emotional pain, and its all hitting me in the face at once because I used to hide from it.
Focus: I can genuinely say that my focus has also significantly improved. I have noticed during my meditation sessions that it is significantly easier to clear my mind of all of the random useless bullshit thoughts that enter my mind. Also I am an engineering student at a top 50 engineering school in the united states and we get a lot of work to do. My study skills have been great and I am more productive and focused than ever. I read books everyday and learn stuff that nobody teaches you. (tip: read books, a person spent their lifetime learning the knowledge they put into that thing, it can help you achieve things you want to achieve. If you are too busy then go to audible and get their free trial and listen to the book at 1.5x speed while you commute. Read books about anything you want, love, women, work, history, religion, money, social, addiction. Seriously, if you are interested in something there is a good book on it probably.)
Women: I go onto a lot of posts and I see people describing how somehow every gorgeous women can’t stop staring at them. I unfortunately have not had the luxury of experiencing this, it seems that every girl seems to continue about their day not noticing my existence. As a 20 year old who has never kissed a girl, this was disappointing at first. There are a lot of factors that go into this however, including the chance that I might be butt ugly. Maybe some guys on here are stunningly attractive I don’t know. What I have learned is that women are not everything, there is a lot more to live for. I understand those people who post about how excited they are to talk to a girl, because for a lot of people it is the reason they get into noFap, but stick with it and you realize that girls are not everything in life. They obviously are a huge part, but the world is a great place to explore, don’t spend it all on over obsessing on women you barely have gotten to know.
Overall: This has been my honest results of the 60 day streak I am on, a lot can change over the next days. My goal is to never masturbate again, and it is still yet to be seen if I reach that. I can say this, noFap for porn addicts is such a growing experience. My life has taken such a 180, my grades are better, I read books, I meditate. It might not be all easy feel good, in my case, the depression, the urges, the relapses. But these three years of trying I have seen by far the most growth in my entire life, and during these 60 days, they have been so good just to get away from all of that vile negativity. I don’t find anything morally wrong with porn, but as something many people intake everyday, I think it is incredibly unhealthy. Losing that compulsion has been honestly a blessing I can’t describe in words.
Breathing exercises: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBOSqgPg8jc , 4-4-4×4 breathing breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4, out for 4. Do that 4 times
P.S. Thank you everyone on this subreddit for educating and being supportive, it has been such a help hearing all of your stories.
LINK – Day 60 report