After emerging from the misty fog and looking back at the ravaged wasteland of porn addiction behind me it is like I’m a soldier who has survived a devastating battle that has claimed the lives of all my friends but instead of them laying dead on the battlefield they’re simply asleep and refuse to wake up.
After seeing all my friends lay on the ground i look into the mist that I’ve escaped from and i can faintly see images of naked women and disgusting sex acts being committed right in front of me. I then realize that my friends whom are laying there on the ground simply don’t want to get up as they’re comfortable living in the misty seedy world of porn not realizing that if they simply wake up and walk away from the fog a beautiful world full of color and joy awaits them! But no matter how much i try to tell my friends they are simply unresponsive.
Men are obsessed with sex! I know that may sound like an obvious statement and you may have heard it before but to me it has a much more sinister deeper meaning.
Before starting NoFap i was obsessed with sex – now it isn’t even on my mind. Does that mean I am asexual or have zero sex drive, no. Quite the opposite actually I now have 10x more energy everyday, I am happy nearly all the time and i love just having fun and joking around with people, basically my love for life has replaced my love for the orgasm and boy am i grateful it has! I find now that women are just naturally attracted to my energy and they relax around me.
This is the reason for me anyway why men who watch porn frequently don’t get what they want when it comes to women – you see to me anyway the first thing a man (who has a porn addiction) thinks about first is sex, whereas the last thing a woman thinks about when they first meet a man is sex so how on earth do men expect to get what they want from a woman when the woman is entering the interaction with a completely different mindset to your own! Then men get frustrated and begin to resent women even though if they simply talked to a woman normally for about 15 minutes they would realize that fact! To me it’s very selfish because you are refusing to see things from the other persons perspective.
in essence that to me is why porn is so harmful because it makes men think sex is the most important thing in life and when they can’t get sex because they’re going into interactions with women purely to get the orgasm and women want to actually develop a connection men become very unhappy leading to depression and all sorts of nasty mental illnesses then turn to porn as a big fuck you to women and that to me is destroying everything a man should actually be and stand for!
So what is the most important thing I’ve learnt from NoFap? To simply put it, it has made me realize sex isn’t half as important as it is made out to be and we should be more focused on being happy within ourselves.
I’m 21. Used porn about 10 years regularly. I decided to quit after seeing myself change into a depressed shill of former self. Currently on day 65 🙂
I am putting this link here for you to get a good idea of the person I was before August 30th 2016 and explain to you how this journey has made me develop a perspective on life that before that date would seem like a fairy tale to me.
I was a needy, self-deprecating, un-appreciative, selfish, hateful ‘man’ before I embarked on this journey and trust me I could label so many more adjectives to describe my former self but to save time I won’t. This journey has forced me to face manhood and break out of the childish bubble that i was stuck in (I believe I would still be stuck in if i didn’t join NoFap.)
I constantly needed the approval of others, hated how I looked and was stuck in a self-destructive mindset that had me depressed for years without really knowing why I was really depressed. I also felt that the world owed me something and the only reason I didn’t have things in life like money, a girlfriend, positivity etc was because the world was out to get me and that i somehow deserved all these nice things in life because I felt like I was owed something. After not getting these things because I was a selfish negative person I began to hate other people especially women because they would never offer themselves to me. I cringe writing that because I am ashamed of the person I was however at the same time i am thankful that I am in the position of being able to look at my past self in the rear mirror.
Now I am in the position where i am always happy/positive and don’t need anything from anyone anymore since i have everything I need internally, it is now my mission to add positivity to every single person I meet for the rest of my life I am doing this not because I want to be accepted but rather it is because i don’t care who you are you deserve to be happy because you are fucking amazing! I hope one day you reach this place because it is a truly beautiful position to be in.
I remember when i started this journey i would look at this sub-reddit constantly and read inspirational stories and messages which i am so thankful for to this day because they got me through the tough times so I’m writing this for you, sitting there on day 1 whom may be in a worse position then me or more caught up in PMO addiction than i was, however to you, fellow fapstronaut I can assure you that you are in the right place to break out of your former self and reach a paradise of self-happiness and love for life but ultimately the only way you will succeed is if you truly want it!
You must look at yourself objectively because you may not use the negative adjectives i used to describe myself above now but I guarantee in hindsight you will look at the person you were and will never want to go back to that place again, you have to start looking at porn as completely negative because I assure you until you see porn as disgusting you will never be free of PMO addiction because sub-consciously your mind still thinks you need porn. Let me tell you my friend YOU DO NOT NEED PORN! This isn’t someone on day 1 telling you this. This is a person who is completely free of pmo addiction and I am telling you there are absolutely no positives when it comes to porn. It offers no good or adds no beauty to the world it only further skews men’s views on women into a selfish disgusting manner and makes women hate us men!
If you are the type of person that has short streaks and edges every now and then let me tell you – you will never be free of PMO addiction because your sub-conscious (which thinks porn is good) is in a constant battle with your conscious mind that believes porn is bad. Although you may want to desperately break from PMO you never will because deep down you still think you need porn, hence you have your own personal civil war going on inside your head between your conscious and sub-conscious mind. Do you see how you will never be free? It’s the same concept as a person on a diet that never seems to be able to stick to the diet.
I have never relapsed and know i never will because porn deep down disgusts me, until you realize that you will never be free.
I kind of stopped visiting this cub because I don’t need it anymore but I really just wanted to thank you all for the support and help I’ve had on my journey. I now look at myself and life through completely fresh beautiful eyes and I will be forever grateful to you guys!
If i had to sum up the main things I’ve learnt on my journey they would be this
1) Happiness is a state of mind not a destination
2) You do not need anything in life once you are truly happy. You may want things but from this moment on remember you don’t need anything, all you need to do is be positive.
3) Every interaction you have with people should be one where the other person is happier after they met you then before.
4) Always have a positive mindset. The only reason you are unhappy is because you choose to be, Always remember you are what you think you are.
5) Your past doesn’t define who you are if you want to be a confident happy person right now then be a happy confident person right now.
6) Regret is pointless it only wastes time.
7) you’ll be dead soon.