Hello nofap community!
To start things of, I would like to greatly thank all of you here! Your stories, posts, and replies have made it possible for me
to finally break free of this addiction! Thank you so much!
Please feel free to ask me anything afterwards!
I’ll divide my post into the following paragraphs, if you wish to skip ahead in sections: 1. Background 2. PMO history 3. Struggles when I started nofap 4. Current thoughts and “benefits” 5. Some tips and advice from my experience 6. Conclusion/TL;DR
I am currently a 21 year old virgin male who is studying mechanical engineering in my university. I consider myself a pretty good looking dude who is very social, and who greatly enjoys the company of others. I was essentially raised by my single mother, with almost no emotional support from my father, other than economic support. I was also raised Catholic and I am currently a very devout Catholic and Christian. Even though I have many other struggles and worries, I am still going strong with my life, and I thank the Lord every day for his help and support. I have no intention of having sex until I am married with the one gal who I will share the rest of my life with.
I was 13 when i first discovered the act of masturbation. I didn’t look it up, nor was I told about it, I just had the strong urge to have sex one day and voila, here we are now. I would then proceed to start using porn and lots of fictional cartoons in the following years. I do need to state that (luckily I guess? Compared to others anyways) I would mostly masturbate once every 2 or 3 days, sometimes with porn, and sometimes without. It wasn’t until my next year that I started to “genuinely” try stop masturbating, but I could never follow through more than a week before I gave up. This shit just felt so good and it was so addicting, like why would I stop? I tried to stop because something just made me feel “dirty”, but I came to get used to that fact in the following years. It really wasn’t until my 1st year of college, that I truly began to learn more about my catholic faith and its teachings. I discovered that they believe in mortal sins, and that they consider masturbation to be such sin. This, “fear” I guess, made me reconsider my PMO ways more seriously. It was the “push” I needed to take this addiction more seriously.
After so many years of PMOing and after so many miserable attempts to stop, my journey finally began last year, 2014, in June. It all began with doing my first confession in a long time. Afterwards, I only lasted a week before I gave in. I then proceed to confess a couple more times in the following weeks, but to no avail. I started looking online for guide and resources in how to finally get rid of this addiction in my life. By luck, in July I found a Christian post somewhere that recommend the subreddit of “nofap” as a great tool, community, and resource. I finally came here, and made an account and created my first badge. Reading through so many other peoples’ experiences, success, and failures worked wonders with me! It just felt great knowing that I was not alone in this struggle. I was then able to last 2 or 3 weeks, though i would still relapse, and go to confession every time I did. I then reached a streak of 55 days in the month of October. It was here when I had a great revelation. I relapsed and binged, and proceeded to watch porn again for the first time since i started back in June. It felt great, but soon afterwards I just felt so weak and pathetic. Is this the person I wanted to be? One that is addicted to his penis, and to pixaleted people having sex? I said no, I can be, and I am, much better than that. After I confessed, I proceeded to reach a month before I masturbated one last time. During this time, I found that It was A LOT more difficult for me to quit the actual act of masturbation rather than porn, unlike some other redditors here. And alas, here we are. 102 days. Since the beginning of my journey, I grew a lot, spiritually and in maturity. Before, I felt like a boy, but now for the first time in my life, I feel like a MAN. And trust me, it was not easy. I failed so many times, I felt really shitty and depressed for many days, and I cried A LOT. Thanks to you guys, my mother, and my priests, I have finally freed myself from my PMO addiction, and I have no intentions of turning back! Things are looking much better.
-You know what my most favorite benefit of nofap is? That I no longer feel the need to fulfill any sexual desire! Before, if I got a boner, if I was turned on, ect, I was a slave to my penis, and had no choice but to masturbate. I would feel really uncomfortable and miserable while waiting to finally get the chance to bust one out. Even when I did it, it wouldn’t take long before the urges started to come back strong again. I was never fully satisfied, and the vicious cycle never really ended. Now? I still get urges and random boners now and then, but I think nothing of them and just move on with my life. They will very quickly fade away into nothing. Easier said then done, I know, but eventually it did become that easy for me.
-Before, I could not think it was gonna be possible to wait for sex until marriage, but I know have the discipline to easily abstain and save my virginity till that faithful day arrives. When will it be? 5 years from now? 10? 20? Who knows, but I do know that I will be JUST fine until then, no worries.
-WET DREAMS! Honestly guys, I’ve had more wet dreams since i began my journey in July, then I had since I started masturbating! Now this may be a negative to some, but I myself take them as a little “gift” so to speak, and I enjoy them immensely. Makes me feel like a little baby or something haha. It feels very natural.
-I also no longer see any girl with lust or with great sexual intentions as I used to before. This journey made me respect women a whole lot more.
-No more porn either, fuck that shit, it really used to mess with my mind.
-More productive in school, hobbies, and I work out more, ect.
-I honestly feel more like a kid, back i the days were I never had to worry nor think about sex, and I truly feel a lot more liberated and at peace.
TIPS AND ADVICE (Your mileage may vary):
Here are some tips I would like to offer(in no particular order). I have learned these through nofap, and through my experiences…
- Know WHY you are doing this. Analyse your thoughts, reasons, and motivations for doing nofap, no PMO, ect. PLEASE know your reason. I found this to be the most common cause of my relapses. I was not sure enough of what I was doing.
- COLD SHOWERS BABY YEAH!!! If you frequently relapse, PLEASE give cold showers a try. This benefit allowed me to consistently go 2+ weeks when I began! I guarantee this will knock the fucking urge RIGHT OUT OF YOU! I have not done a cold shower for months now, as I have no need for them anymore.
- Delete all your porn: Your videos, your pictures, your links, ect. Just get rid of them all. Self explanatory.
- DO NOT LOOK AT PORN: I a way, this is so much easier to accomplish than to not masturbate IMO. If you feel tempted to look at it, simply get away from the source provider of it, say a laptop, phone, pc, ect. Honestly, the porn won’t appear in front of your face unless you search for it. Even if you have the great “need” to masturbate, then do so without any porn. Going back to porn will only delay/stop your progress.
- CATHOLICS ONLY: If you’re a catholic, then go confess whenever you relapse! It may be embarrassing at first, but you’ll get used to it. The priest can give you advice and motivation in your progress. This also serves as a great motivator to not relapse. It will definitely make you think twice!
- RESPECT THE BADGE! If you fail, immediately reset your badge. If not, great! The badge serves as a great motivator in seeing the days you have been able to live without resorting to PMO! It also makes you think twice before relapsing. “Should i throw away my +10,+50,+100, ect. days? Only for a few moments(if that) of pleasure? Pleasure used in vain, that in no way helps me achieve my life goals?”
- Don’t deal too long on your urges, or your thoughts on relapsing: The more you think about how you’re not gonna relapse, the more likely you are to actually do it. Distract yourself with other things, or meditate, or whatever. An example I once read from a redditor went like this: “Compare PMO to riding a bike. Now, say you don’t want to ride a bike for a day, you are not gonna be constantly
thinking to yourself ‘I’m not gonna ride a bike, I’m not gonna ride a bike’, and fantasying about riding a bike
all day are you? Apply that same logic to PMO, it will make it much easier and bearable, especially when you are
- Don’t objectify women, don’t lust for their bodies, ect. Self explainatory
- Use the emergency button when in doubt.
- Try not to come to this subreddit all the time. Live your life, work to be indepenent of physical things. Coming to the subreddit all the time will make you think about not relapsing all the time, such as I stated reason #6
- If you are a Christian, please pray to God for His help and support.
- Just a suggestion: It my benifit you to confess your PMO addiction to a close relative or family member. Maybe, I don’t know. My mother gave me great emotional support during my struggles.
- Be aware of laziness! This can be a huge cause in relapse, as I have read here in nofap. When you are sitting in your room doing nothing special, please be careful!
- Work out, excersise, play a physical sport, ect. Staying fit and in-shape will definately make you less prone to relapsing. I’ll add more advice if I think about it.
After many relapses and struggles, I have finally reached 90+ days, and I have no plans on stopping! I am finally not a slave to my penis, nor to porn. I no longer feel like an animal, or a druggie getting his fix. I feel free and I am enjoying my life a lot more now! Thank you nofap community for being so helpful! I don’t even feel the days go by! It feels like every time I look at my counter, it’s been another +20 days in the blink of an eye!
You are all very wonderful people, and some of the bravest motherfuckers that I know! Thank you all very much for your support, your posts, and your time, and God bless you all!
LINK – Thank you NoFap community! My first (belated) 90+ post! My story, experiences, and advice (hardmode). Also AMA!