Brief introduction of my history: I am 21 years old, college student, I have been watching P since 18 or 17 and before that i used to look at Porn images and pictures since 15 or 16. I had social anxiety (not very much), low self confidence, found it hard to talk to girls. I had one girlfriend during my whole life. I also had a need for approval, I did actions that subconsciously were to get the approval of my society. I was also a lazy ass and dependent.
The only good thing i had done is that I had good grades in the university.
I started the NoFap journey in July 2016. I always wanted to quit porn but i never gave it a shot. In July 2016 I started researching about this addiction and reading about this problem(and its effects), and one day I encountered an application called “NF companion” that application started my journey it has a counter, motivational quotes and videos and it sends motivational quotes(notifications) every one hour. I got introduced to this WONDERFUL website(community) in December 6 when I was watching a Tedx talk about porn addiction. The beginning was hard as usual I relapsed almost every (week 10 15) days or more. Then one day in the summer(late July) an incident happened with me that made my mind evolve and mature and I became scared from my future, so I realized that this fear is somehow due to my lack of confidence which is due to my lazy life style which porn was a big contributing factor. So I decided to quit it and started being serious about quitting. So I went 30 days no PMO , then relapsed, then 2-3 days no PMO, then also relapsed, then 34 days no pmo, then relapsed, and after i made it another one month and relapsed on October 22 since then I never relapsed and I did the hard mode NO PMO.(fear of the future was a major motivator to me)
The first 10-20 days are always the hardest, urges were all over the place but I controlled myself. On day 26 I nearly relapsed after accidentally watching a triggering video on TV, although it was triggering but i kept looking for maybe 5-6 minutes then my mind came to its senses and I closed the TV. (these minutes made my conscience beat me like hell)… I stayed for maybe 3 days angry from myself and with foggy brain. Then I continued my journey, day by day I was beating urges and letting them pass away. My will power became stronger, I stopped looking at woman in the society. I stopped objectifying woman as sexual objects. Then on around some day in 50s i did watch something triggering also accidentally on TV, but my will power this time was more stronger and my conscience was stronger so it took me 2 minutes to look away and once again these only 2 minutes made me hate myself for 2 days… and I continued my journey.
Then from days 80 to 90 it has been hell for me I’ve been horny, I may have looked once at some pictures for maybe 1 minute on Google than immediately closed the tab, thanks god I fended off all temptations.
This Journey was hard because I had only 2 courses over the past semester so I had many free time and I always felt bored… I had time to PMO but I didn’t.
- Watching something triggering for few minutes might be edgy and cause a relapse…. so never edge, even when you don’t relapse your conscience will beat you and you will feel guilty… so don’t edge STAY STRONG.
- Once you think you conquered this addiction, temptations comes out of nowhere and start trying to allure you. So never underestimate this problem, it will hit you when you think you are on the top.
- I had about 20 wet dreams most in the early days (the first 45).
- We should tackle this problem day by day.(Don’t Set big goals tackle it day by day step by step)
- I stopped using Instagram, snapchat , and Facebook (because they were causing my low self esteem and I think quitting these made me avoid many triggers and temptations). Social media made me compare my life with others and that made me feel terrible (which caused me to PMO, since it made me feel happy). Also I used to look at girls pictures everyday on these applications (which made me a horny animal and lead to porn).
- I found that most of the time I watched Porn it was because I was bored, I had nothing to do, I had no motivation. Porn to me was an entertainment device. An illusion.
RESULTS (how NoFap changed my life):
- The first most important change is increased self confidence which changed almost every another aspect in my life… my conscience was not beating me up anymore so I developed some self love which caused self confidence although I still lack some self confidence but I can say if my self confidence was 30% now it is 70%.
- I can speak to almost any girl with minimal shyness and I can look them in the eyes without fear and feeling guilty. I used to be afraid of approaching and talking to girls, in these 90 days I had 4 dates, and one major thing I talked with my crush whom I had a crush on her during the past 3 years(and I never talked with her in these 3 years although I used to know her before). I saw her from about 2 weeks and talked with her fluently no fear no shyness nothing stopped me, I looked her all the time in the eyes and made her laugh. I took her phone number and now we are chatting regularly.
- I almost stopped the need of approval from others. I am aware of this bad habit, and I am fighting it every day… and this is causing me comfort and peace with my self… I no longer care what others think or do. I just only care about myself. I still need to fight this habit but thanks god I am far away from my starting point.I cut off many approval seeking habits.
- I developed self awareness and awareness of my bad habits (dependent on others, lazy, pmo, need of approval, fear) and now I am tackling them all. I think self awareness is the first step to quitting all these and when you are self aware of the problem you can start to avoid it.
- I started going to the gym (I never thought I could do gym since I had a back problem and I was too weak and skinny, I was too skinny and I didn’t want people judging me because I was skinny and all the other guys at the gym are big and muscular) so if someone came to me in January 2016 and told me you will be hitting the gym a year from now I would have never believed him. I’ve been in the gym for 3 months I gained 6 kilos (13 pounds)(6 kilos to me is massive) and my muscles all over my body are growing. My strength increased 3 times ex: if I used to lift 10 kilos now I can carry 30 kilos. This also aided my confidence, going to the gym also helped me release all the negative energy I was holding and helped me get away from porn. In addition it helped me with my social anxiety since I made new friends there. I’m not afraid of showing up anymore.
- I started reading books and I have finished 7 books since I started NoFap in July. I read self improvement books. These books are my new best friends… one book I would recommend all people to read is “THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE” international best seller more than 15 million copies sold. This book along with other books increased myself awareness and made me more mature and wise. I can’t emphasize on the importance of reading such books…. one of the most important habits I developed.
- I stopped objectifying women, and now I can see the beauty in all woman. NoFap removed the veil from my eyes… that black evil veil… now I see the beauty in woman, and I think every girl has something attractive. Also I no longer feel that woman can imprison me, I can resist woman, I gave them power over me they should not have it.
- I started seeking knowledge in many fields in life. I read almost every day on google or watch some motivational videos on YouTube. I read about self confidence, emotional maturity, flirting, psychology, sports. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.
- This NoFap journey made me realize the importance of my parents and fidelity in life. They have been with each other for 30 years and they are still faithful. I also used my free time to get to know my parents more and learn from them and help them in everyday chores, since before I was too lazy and too busy watching porn and jerking off.
- I also developed self motivation, nowadays every day I try to learn or do something new.. I try to get away from my comfort zone.
- I also encourage my friends who pmo to stop this habit, and I try to influence people and to be a good person in society, since nowadays being a good person is something hard when you are surrounded by bad influence all over our societies. When you help people and advice them you feel great about yourself, you feel you are contributing to something.
- I also started learning a Spanish course, now i can understand some Spanish and talk a little bit. The Spanish class I took is all girls, I’m the only guy so this helped me talk with girls and break that ice.
- Once you start this journey and you start feeling the benefits i stop craving P, and every time I feel the urge, I remember my old self and I don’t want to get back to my old self, i remember the misery which I was living.
This community has been VERY HELPFUL to me, it relapsed my social media accounts, whenever I was bored, I entered this website and read. Whenever I felt the urges ,and I was horny I read about the negatives of this habit on this sight so it motivated me massively… I developed new friendships in this community. I got to know many people from different countries different religions different cultures. This website to me is opportunity to learn about everything not only PMO. It is really TOUCHING how we don’t know each other’s yet we help each other’s and motivate each others, while in real life some people call themselves their friends but they never supported me or motivated me as YOU guys did.
My new goals are to keep improving and to stay away from PMO, I will try to fight all my problems and learn something new every day.
Thanks Everyone you are like brothers to me.
If anyone needs anything from me feel free to direct message me.
Thanks for reading this report and giving it your time… your feedback and comments are appreciated.
STAY STRONG AND STAY AWAY FROM THIS SHIT