I had been struggling with relapses in the past. I started in the summer of last year after discovering yourbrainonporn.com. As someone with undergraduate training in the sciences, the information hit me hard and forced me to make changes. I thought it would be easy. It wasn’t at all.
My longest streak lasted about 2 months, after relapsing some 5 times. Then summer ended and school began. With heightened stress, job and grad school apps, and like, I rationalized relapsing. I had the chance to correct it January 1, 2016, but fucked up the next day.
Not anymore though, I started over February 9th, and haven’t turned back since. I’m on hard-mode, I’ve started running, I had good grad school interview, got a second job, started dating a girl I had been crushing on for months, and got contracted to play in a musical ensemble touring the US this summer.
Was it NoFap that did this? Partially. With the energy and craze your brain goes into being deprived from dopamine, you have no choice but to occupy it with continuous improvement and your life, and as your physical desires dwindle, you have fallen into a good habit of simply excelling.
So trust me, it gets better. No, it gets fucking awesome.
Keep up the good fight.
LINK – NoFap is Simply a Catalyst
Things are going very smoothly. I came out of my flatline about two weeks ago, and though my sex drive has increased since then, it’s started to level out this past week. Urges have become basically nonexistent for me. I guess my body is accepting that they will not be responded to, so has stopped prompting me with them? One thing I’ve noticed is that I have become just annoyed and tired with all of the sexual material in the media and popular culture at large. It’s not even as if I’m annoyed that such material is prompting urges (as they don’t, for me), but just the fact that everyone seems so obsessed with it, and its messages are persistent and ubiquitous.
I find myself really enjoying existing in the moment, and appreciating the nuances in things, almost like I did when I was a child (before puberty). The way sun reflects off of dew-laden grass, they particular way the breeze feels on a cold winter morning, how rain leaves streaking patterns of water on a window. I get caught up in my thoughts more often, and they have completely shifted from fantasies to inquiring about the nature of the world. This has conveniently coincided with my grades improving in this final semester of my undergraduate career.
I’ve gotten better at dealing with stress as well, and my consistent exercise has brought me into the best shape of my life. I’m up to running over 20 miles per week, and the calisthenics training I’ve gotten has put me on a path to getting back the strength I had when I did gymnastics in elementary school.
I’ve also been sleeping A LOT better. My dreams are more vivid and I am better at remembering them (I may start a dream journal). I fall asleep much easier now. At this point, NoFap has become something I ‘just do’. I don’t think I could actually relapse if I tried. The thought of it makes me sick to my stomach.
That said, my sword is always unsheathed in this war; I know how my body works, and how unrelenting it is with its evolutionary predilections. Letting my guard down is death. Here’s to 60 days. Next report at day 90. I’m shooting for a year and beyond.
LINK – 60 Day Report – Hard-Mode