I had a long experience with Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction which dragged me back and really scared me for a while, and I kept going on forums to try and find support and people i could relate to, but I found that people never quite told the story in its complete version, so that’s what I’m here to do with mine. It takes a lot of strength to go into the details of the story and I hope that this will give the reader strength too.
So first off, I am 21. I have been masturbating a minimum of twice daily since I was about 10 or 11, first to magazine porn and then to softcore and hardcore by age 14. I never had any sexual experiences other than kissing until i got to the age of 18. In my first sexual encounter I was drunk, and I couldn’t get fully hard (maybe 50%) but I didn’t think much of it at the time.
When i was 19, I remember kissing this beautiful, sexy girl and I looked back on the kiss later that night to realise that my dick did not even flinch. I freaked the fuck out. All the way home from the club I kept thinking to myself: ‘What does this mean? I must be gay? Fuck I can’t be gay it’s impossible!’, and I shook it off as a paranoid thought. However, the thought kept coming back. I would look at girls and look at guys and find no difference in arousal (which looking back with a rational mind was no arousal at all in both cases) and I started to really panic. I thought I was gay. I must be gay.
After that, I started masturbating even more to check I was still aroused to girls (I was, I could get almost completely hard no problem), but then I noticed I would look at guys too in order to check if I was also aroused by them. This started to really get me down. I was a mess. Depressed, anxious, didn’t want to leave the house, every social encounter was devoted to trying to percieve any form of arousal, and for a while, i thought that I was slightly aroused to men.
I started looking on the internet for alternate explanations, like HOCD and shit, and I stumbled on Yourbrainonporn. I read all the stories and I thought that it may apply to me. This is how it applied to me. Guys this part is very important, because all of you out there who are panicking about it, you have to know that it’s all in your heads, and what isn’t in your head has a physiological explanation. Here it goes.
I noticed that I had been in a flatline for years. Many years. It is possible guys. I got so used to smoking hot girls and impossibly sexy porn actresses that the average girl just didn’t arouse me anymore. I also masturbated for 7-8 years twice daily before my penis even saw a vagina. This is a big factor. All of you out there who can relate, I think this is the biggest factor that contributes to PIED for people in our situation. These are the common things, but here are the things that people on this site don’t stress enough.
It’s normal sometimes not to get 100% hard. We grow up watching so much porn, and actors there get 100% hard instantly and all the time. Sex IS NOT like porn. But we grow up to believe that it is. If you’re there in foreplay eating her out of fingering her or whatever it might just get a little softer. And here comes the second problem. Performance anxiety. The reason why most people (including myself) go completely floppy is because once they start losing the erection they think ‘shit my dick stopped working’, and inevitably it does.
Even though I have successful sex now (up to 5-6 times a day), if she wants to do something i may not be completely comfortable with, i go floppy. That’s the stress hormones in your body interfering with your dick. Accept these facts and you’ll find so much improvement. Now to the reboot part of the story.
Cut all the porn from your life. All of it. But don’t turn yourself into an asexual being. People say to stop fantasizing. Bullshit! Fantasize all you want! Stare at sexy girls who walk by! Talk to women, build up your confidence! This is the best way to reboot. Onto the flatline.
The flatline can be scary. Very scary. I had hardcore flatlines where my dick was shrivelled, no sexual impulses towards even the hottest of girls. That is normal. You’re not supposed to be aroused, that is part of the flatline. Just enjoy it! Do other things now that sexual obsession is over, excercise, take up a hobby, do anything to get out of the depression which a flatline might induce.
Know that 100% of the time, no matter how long it takes, it will go away. Pick up on even the smallest signs of arousal (a flatline is never 100% arousal free) and know that they will be much more intense eventually. And the flatline fluctuates. Some days you wanna fuck every girl that walks by, and then the next day back to asexual. Ride with it.
Most importantly, DO NOT, and i repeat DO NOT turn down girls because you’re scared of underperforming. Sure, wait until you feel a bit ready, but if you can find a nice girl who likes your personality, then they will be understanding. First of all, if she makes you feel comfortable, that is exactly what you will need. Sex will re-wire your brain into being aroused by sex again. Stress will go down, and performance anxiety (which is ALWAYS a problem in PIED) will decrease also.
And remember that you can make girls cum in different ways. Finger her, go down on her, please her in other ways and enjoy being naked with her and eventually your dick will realise that he enjoys it too. Believe me, that is what cured me.
After 1 year of anxiety and depression, followed by another year of still strong PIED, but a positive attitude, I found that girl that I talked about in this paragraph and she gave me the final push that I needed to be cured. I am not 100% cured even after 4 months of having a lot of sex, but the healing process is not instantaneous. Live it through, and embrace it knowing that it will keep getting better.
Guys, I hope this story helps, NO ONE IS BEYOND RECOVERY. Believe this, and you will be successful. It is tough, real tough, but with hard work and dedication and sometimes strenuous positivity you will emerge victorious. And stronger than ever. Believe me guys. Believe me, it feels fucking great. Thanks for all the support i got on the internet, and once you guys beat your PIED, share your story! People need to hear it. Take it easy.