First of all, let me tell you, whoever you are, that it is possible. None of this is bullshit, … porn enduced ED and its cure, that is going a certain period of time without masturbating nor watching porn, is absolutely one hundred percent real.
Ps : please forgive my vulgar language, it’s how I convey my feelings
Here’s a tldr for you lazy folks:
Trust me, it works.
Masturbated since 12 on a daily basis, progressed to ugly stuff at about 15, had only had a couple handjobs at 16 otherwise no sexual experiences. Failed at having sex at 19, tried again at 20 but failed after which I immediately started nofap hardcore mode (no porn, no stimulation, nada). 4 months in, I finally managed to have sex AND OH MY GOD, IS IT WORTH IT !
Believe, my man ! No matter how fucked up you think you are, you can fix yourself !
The long but sweet story :
Back when I was sixteen I had a girlfriend whom I was very fond of, we had a bit of fun together, she gave me handjobs which were wonderful. But we split up after three months, before I could get her to agree on having sex (she was a virgin back then) with me.
I had a few flings here and there but it never went beyond kissing, until I met this drop dead gorgeous everyone-wants-to-fuck girl when I hit nineteen.
Entering my 19th year here, on this earth, I got into shape through strength training (what weightlifting is really about). Naturally, my new physic made me desirable, I quickly started noticing all the women’s attention I haven’t been getting before. Pretty women, very pretty women. I can’t stress this enough.
Finally, I manage to get a date with one of them, and boy oh boy was she hot ! We started going out and I remember thinking, back then, that I felt unattracted eventhough her looks were phenomenal. I didn’t make much of it. I also noticed that I wasn’t getting hard when kissing her like I used to with my ex, I thought it was just because I wasn’t in love but we all know what the real reason was… for fuck’s sake…
Anyway, after two weeks of dating, on a saturday night after a party, she took me to her place. We started making out on her bed, she took my shirt off, I took off hers. It was at that moment, when I gazed upon her perfectly drawn out body that I realized I wasn’t hard. I started going down on her to buy some time, thinking it would come up but it didn’t… I couldn’t help but feel unattracted, dead in a sexual way. I told her that it had never happened to me before and that it must have been the alcohol. She understood.
It was the most humiliating, horrible, emasculating feeling I had ever felt in my entire life. Dreadful.
Our relationship ended a week later, after I found out she was looking elsewhere. It wasn’t a big deal, it was too early in the relationship for me to have had any feelings for her. I guess I should have known better though, she had a bad reputation. It just sucks that I didn’t get to have a piece of that fine ass. For fuck’s sake ! Damn ED !
Anyway, the day after having failed at nailing her, I immediately googled for answers. . After reading through a lengthy thread on neogaf or yahoo (can’t remember), I had acquired quite the vocabulary when it comes to ED. Whisky dick was my favourite, haha, whisky dick… :’D. But none the « excuses » for having ED satisfyed me, I knew something much more sinister was afoot (always wanted to say that ).
But then I stumbled on a comment from some dude, whom I owe the world to (I will fucking suck your dick man, if that’s what you want, no matter how horrible it must be… there is simply no way I can repay you in equal value), about how porn can lead to such problems and that there is a solution. He linked yourbrainonporn, I read.
My first thoughts were « fuck, I fucked my brain up… » and considering how I had never had sex before, I was scared I wouldn’t ever be able to overcome ED but god bless America (I’m swiss, so yeah, I’m saying that for the kicks) , I’m fixed as of now.
So, after filling my head …, I figured I had nothing to lose. I lasted something like forty days on nofap, what a fail ! By the end I was reassuring myself that it was all just bullshit, that alcohol was the reason. So I kept on masturbating, on much less fucked up shit though (« just in case »).
Fast forward eight months, I meet another gorgeous girl, one that has a good reputation and a personality I like. I hadn’t masturbated in a few days when I had her in my bed on the first night we met (she’s a friend of my best friends who were sleeping at my place). She told me she didn’t want to have sex because she doesn’t do that kind of stuff which didn’t bother me considering I wasn’t hard at all. We hugged and made out almost all night, barely a semi.
This time, I could clearly see that something besides the booze or pot was making me loose my mojo. I remembered about nofap and decided to go for it (no porn, no masturbation, no nothing) and I did.
Now, I know for most of you guys giving this up is really hard, but from day one (which was technically before I met her) to today (4 months +) I haven’t felt any strong cravings to masturbate. Strange but maybe the promise of having a happy and healthy relationship with this wonderful girl was what made it easy for me this time around (first time I had a lot of cravings).
The fact that it was so easy for me made it hard to notice any difference in the urges department.
One thing I did notice, however, is that I don’t have anymore perverted porn-like thoughts popping up in my head anymore. I just think of how gorgeous the women I meet are, or how their body and pussy might feel like, or how they smell and laugh. Notice how I picture sensations or character traits that could possibly turn me on rather than some big buff dude doing horrible things to them. These thoughts occur naturally and make me feel natural and human whereas I felt perverted as hell before fixing myself.
A month in and I started getting slightly hard when kissing her. Two months in and I would get good chubbies.
After two months and a half we tried to have sex for the first time, I failed. I felt miserable again, fuck. She reassured me and gave me a handjob (managed to get about 60 % hard) that felt like shit after which she sucked my dick for a solid fifteen minutes, I barely felt anything, didn’t cum… it was all so depressing for me. Tried sex several times after that but failed at every try.
After the third or forth try I told her that she needed to be patient with me because the constant failure was making me feel anxious, I felt I needed more time before we were to try again. She agreed and told me that it wasn’t a problem and that being with me was all that she wanted. That reassured me greatly, bless her sweet heart, I love that girl (now, not then).
A month after that, we try again, and this time I had taken 20mg of Cialis (ED drugs) but I failed, it didn’t make a difference, I felt terrible. She didn’t care and gave me a handjob (was almost 100 % hard)… and it was AMAZING, it took me five minutes and I let go the biggest load I’ve ever seen. Holy shit. Next morning, we tried but I wasn’t quite hard enough still, she then blew me, and that was even more incredible than the hand job. — Fucking hell, I’m getting hard writing this down. — By then I figured that I was beginning to rewire, and I believe (now) that I was, as I could get good erections through touch alone.
About a week after that, maybe a bit less (but definately passed the 4 months nofap), we tried having sex again (I was on 20 mg cialis, just to make sure anxiety wasn’t a factor) and we did (hurray !). I had lost my virginity, finally ! She felt amazing, the feeling of a pussy around your dick is the most mind blowing thing you will ever feel. It beats your right (or left ?) hand for sure !
Then, a week later, on a saturday night we decided to go out to a club, I was pressed that day and had forgotten to take the cialis, I wanted to take 10 mg to see if I still worked.
Anyway, I realized I forgot to take it on my way there. I decided to chill and not think about it, just have a good time and believe in myself. I was right, that night, she came back to my place and we had sex just as easily as with the ED drugs (I believe ED drugs have an effect only when its your dick that has a problem, not your mind).
I was free ! I am free ! And I want to fuck like there’s no tomorrow !