This might not make sense to you right now, or even be the thing you want to hear, but the day that I started doing NoFap to improve myself, and not my relationships with women or personal bravado, is the day that I truly conquered my addiction.
You relapse not because you are weak, but because you are trying to do something that most people find impossible for the satisfaction of others and not yourself.
I’d like to share a short story with you to prove my claim. The claim that focusing 100% on improving your own mind and body will allow you to finally grow into the person that you know you can be. This has nothing to do with me, it’s simply a way to prove to you that what I am saying is the truth.
I recently took a sociology class focusing on sexual preference and, when asked about masturbation, I informed my teacher that I do not masturbate or watch porn, and have not done-so in almost a year. The entire class laughed at me, especially the men, and did not believe me. I found this quite funny, considering that I was the only person in the entire class that was willing to discuss my porn and masturbation habits. I didn’t even begin to defend myself. I simply shrugged my shoulders and sat quietly in my chair, looking at the teacher with a grin on my face.
After a few moments of silence she asked me if I wanted to attempt to prove my claim and I said, out-loud to a class of 60+ people, “I don’t care if they believe me or not.” I genuinely had zero interest in their opinion of me, or my lifestyle. Coming from a person that suffered from a literal medically-diagnosed extreme case of public anxiety only a year ago, that means more than I can ever possibly describe. To sit in a room with over 60 strangers and feel completely comfortable, relaxed and confident is a sensation I have never experienced in my entire life.
Roughly two weeks later I was on a date with a girl from that same class. I was playfully asking her questions and eventually she began to describe her attraction to me. The first thing she brought up was the fact that I did not watch porn or masturbate. She said, “I don’t know why that made me interested in you. You just seemed so confident and sure of yourself. Even though you knew that what you were saying was different from what everyone else thought, you didn’t care. You were just so sure of yourself.”
Please, for your own sake, stop doing NoFap to improve how other people view you. Wake up every day and want to make YOURSELF into the best person you can possibly be.
Stop doing this for them. Start doing this for you.
(this post applies to both male and female fapstronauts, simply replace my sexual pronouns with your personal preference)