Age 22 – Depression gone, I’m now a confident, smiling and sexy young man


After finishing 30 days of hardmode, I made a post where I said I’ll do 90 days of monkmode. No alcohol, no cigs. Read tons of books. Learn a language. Hit the gym. Meditation. So… Here goes. The most significant change I noticed was the energy and positivity that radiates from me. Depression? Gone. I won over it. What usually made me upset and sleepless for three days would only upset me for a night now.

I spent most days just feeling good about everything and it’s unbelievable. Gone was the angry, killer, mad-at-the-world look and walk, it was replaced with a confident, smiling, and yep, sexy young man.

My health is better. I only got colds twice for the whole 4 months. That’s a HUGE change from the 3x a month flu I have suffered ever since I was a teenager. My body looks better from the body-building. I can’t say my muscles grew faster because of nofap, maybe only because I was super motivated that I went everyday.

Talking with girls is easier now. I made a post about it too. I won’t say they suddenly found me attractive. No, it’s because I found the courage to talk to people. Not just girls. Random strangers, people who interest me. I even met a lot of people just by opening a book and reading quietly along the hallways. It was fun. And I just have this newfound respect for girls. No matter how they look. I speak with honesty and truth. No intent at all, just connections. And I believe girls find that attractive, that genuine interest for sensible talk.

I know basic Esperanto now.

I have borrowed a lot of books. Finished some of them, I still have lots more to read and I. Love. Reading. I also managed to buy one. For me that’s a huge achievement, as I only have a part-time job and the pay is enough for my expenses in school.

I feel accomplished. Our thesis, which I have worked on alone, won 2nd place in a national event.

My meditation and prayer is still improving. I would say I can only successfully meditate max of ten minutes.

My sleep has improved, always waking up at 5:30 am and sleeping around 3 pm and again at 10 pm. Dreams pop up every now and then, and none of them stressful. Majority of the dreams are sexual, but none strong enough for wet dreams.

I failed at the social media part, solely because I have business talks with a friend. Pathetic reason, but I have two months of school vacation to work on this along with my meditation.

Overall I feel happy, and highly confident. And connected to God, too. Much suprising coincidences have been happening a lot, and I am enjoying all of it.

Was it easy? Nope. It was TOUGH. Was it worth it? Oh yeah. I’m not yet done, I’m not yet at my maximum potential, but I can already say this: NoFap is worth it. Stop counting the day streaks. Treat every day as Day One. The streaks don’t mean a thing if you do not use that energy welling up in your core for self-improvement. Aim to improve at things you are good at. Music, yeah, I picked up my guitar again, singing happily again. This carefree feeling is one of the best things I will wish for all of you guys. And getting addicted to porn is something I wouldn’t wish even for my worst enemy. So fight on. Stay committed.

I was depressed when I stepped into college. I was very much fucked up. No energy, very few friends, and I was highly manipulative in all of my relationships. It came to a point where the stress and worries nearly made me surrender, I contemplated suicide. I would live everyday with so little energy, weak, just… I can’t describe the hell, bro. I felt miserable. For years.

When I finally took nofap seriously, I’ll say it, NoFap cured me. There came a point where I was getting hit by random , sadness attacks that made me EXTREMELY lonely, but I held on. I thought of them as the “dying gasps of depression.” I took them as a sign of healing. And then the skies cleared up for me. I described it as “stepping out of the shower”, new, but still the same, but clean and relaxed and very much refreshed. I’m so glad I won over it. With God, of course. ☺

As for talking to girls, I was just downright honest, man. I started with the girls who I knew were interested in me. I would approach and ask a question, and just stay in front of them. Even if I do not find some of them attractive, I would ‘scan’ them and look for a good thing. Their voice, or hair, or clothes, ANYTHING. And I would say it, like, “oh btw, where did you have your glasses fixed? They look really good on you.” And I listen. I don’t pretend to listen, I really listen, not worrying much on what to say next. Even smiling and nodding gets them blushing. Then I stepped out of my comfort zone more and did the same thing to strangers. It’s not always successful.

Some girls would scan me in an insulting manner. That’s very much okay. It’s part of the mission. Some girls would just go “thanks, you look good too!” and then when you see them the next day, they always wear a smile. So yeah, be honest, and don’t try to act smooth. Be yourself, with your uhms and hmms and awkward smile. The right people will find you charming, the wrong people will find you annoying, but who gives a fuck what they think? You’re exercising yourself, and you’ll be thankful that you did.

I’m 22, from the Philippines.

LINK – 120+ days UPDATE

By mEUsical_Wolf