Hey fellow champions of your urges, I’ve mostly just floated around this page over the past year and a half, listening to advice and fighting my own battles. I’m nowhere near done with my nofap battle (longest streak ever = 44 days) but sitting back I’ve been baffled by the way this challenge has changed my life.
So here I am sharing my story, for all those out there who are stuck in a rut, and for myself, to look back on, during my urges.
I’ve always been a smart kid. That’s not a bragging thing, it’s just true. It helped me get by highschool, and even much of college without really trying. I’ve also always been athletic, relatively handsome, and compassionate.
Why then, did I hate myself for so long?
It begin in highschool. I was in advanced classes, I was on the football and baseball teams, I had a solid group of friends. And yet I had this itching feeling that everyone hated me. It grew worse in college. I somehow stumbled into a relationship with the most incredible girl of all time, had a great group of friends… and still believed that no one liked me. I battled depression, I considered suicide. I turned to pretty chronic marijuana use and started to dabble with psychedelics.
The deeper I went into this all, the more introverted I became. I couldn’t talk to anyone that I wasn’t extremely close to. I hated eye contact. I lost all social skills. I considered applying for medical school but was told by my advisor that I was likely too shy to even handle the interview.
This whole time I was battling PMO. It began in 6th grade, I still remember the first day being home sick and discovering it. from ages 14-22 I was a multiple times a day guy. We’re talking a go to the bathroom in class just to whack it guy. We’re talking doing it through a fucking hoodie pocket in class guy. I was disgusting. I was addicted.
Almost two years ago, I decided to wake the fuck up.
I looked at myself and realized how much good I could do in this world with all of the gifts God has given me. Who am I to waste that? Was I really going to let synthetic computer sex bullshit waste that for me? So I started my NoFap challenge.
It was hard as hell; it’s still hard as hell. I know it will become easier but I never expect to be completely rid of my urges. And you know what, that’s awesome. Fighting the urge is, in my opinion, the greatest thing you learn from NoFap. There are so many urges in life that need to be kicked: porn, laziness, procrastination, FEAR. I’ve come to realize how much the human mind does to hold itself back. And learning how to fight that has completely changed my life.
I got rid of the other things holding me back from achieving my potential. Facebook? Goodbye. Drugs, screw that. Holy cow, when you get rid of all of this it’s incredible what you can achieve.
Since starting NoFap, I worked my ass off to get into medical school. Rejuvenated by my new outlook on life, I became one of the social heads of my school. I decided to go out on a limb and run for a small class officer position. When our president had to step down, I was written in to replace her. Next thing I know, I found myself at national conferences with the best and brightest doctors in the country.
Who knew I was a natural leader? Who knew I had the social skills to do all of this. Who knew I had the mental skills to finish the first year of medical school as one of the top students in my class? My mind did. Deep down buried in the fog of PMO.
And you know what? Every single person on here is capable of achieving so much more than they even expect. The human body is a beautiful machine. The human MIND is a fucking powerhouse. When you get rid of the mass of PMO, and other negatives in your life that are holding that down, you’ll be blown away by what you can achieve. I know what I was.
So I’m begging you to not give up. It’s so easy to give in. It’s so easy to trick yourself that this one time is ok. I still do it. I’m no where near close to a 90 day reset. But holy shit am I excited to get there. This community is a great resource and I implore you to keep using it. It will change your life. I know it changed mine.
Thanks for reading guys, sorry that was so long
TL;DR: It’s amazing how many gifts I’ve always had that PMO has suffocated in the past. Getting rid of it and other negatives changed me from a self loathing stoner to a someone I never imagined I could be. I’m no where close to the end of my journey, but it’s so obvious NoFap is worth it
Just reached 111 days… guess how many times I relapsed over the past 3 years getting there though? That’s 296 times that I was telling myself there’s absolutely no way I should PMO and yet gave in. 296 times where I felt like I would never beat this addiction and would be stuck forever. 296 times I sat there feeling the brain fog rush in as soon as I finished my disgusting habit. 296 times I would scroll through this forum thinking I would never reach the famed 90 day challenge.
The point is this… please please don’t give up on NoFap. There are some people who can miraculously quit PMO on their first or second try. That was not me. I failed and failed and failed. But I never gave up. Now here I am, going stronger than ever and feeling on top of the world.
I know this phrase gets tossed around frequently but seriously guys, if I could do it, you can do it. Just don’t give up!
A little background… just under a year ago, I got out of 6 year relationship that I thought would never end (we were even engaged). My PMO addiction definitely played a role, as did my other bad habits (and honestly a lot of mistakes on her part). The main issue though, was that I put her on a pedestal. When she tried to call things off, I was literally begging her not to. Was literally willing to drop out of medical school and give up on my dream of being a doctor for her. I’ve now realized how pathetic that is and vowed to “make myself the prize”.
Fast forward several months and I’ve had some fun dates and flings with some pretty awesome and attractive girls. My current streak, which is my longest ever, along with cutting out several other bad habits (weed, excessive social media/video games, etc.) has given me an incredible amount of confidence and self worth.
So last week I’m grabbing dinner with my friend of 15 years and she tells me she’s become friends with a Broncos cheerleader who she thinks I should go on a date with. Yes, me. I was actually pretty baffled that, of all the people she knows, I was the one she wants to set up with this girl. But my friend told me that I’ve become what every girl wants and thinks this would be a great match. Naturally, I had to agree.
This girl and I talked a bit and tried to set something up but I immediately could tell this wasn’t what I was looking for. She was so into herself and was obviously someone who needed attention. Beyond that, she was, quite frankly, just kind of boring. Don’t get me wrong, she was absolutely gorgeous (I mean she’s a freaking NFL cheerleader), but that’s just not what I want in a girl. So I reached out and called it off.
Before I started my nofap journey, I would have honestly done anything to go on a date with a girl like this. Now I want so much more though. I don’t want to be in a relationship, regardless of how beautiful she is, if I don’t feel like I’m getting everything I can out of it. I want a girl who can make me laugh, think, and grow as a person. And I want a girl who wants me as much as I want her. There is so so so much more to girls than looks and I’m glad I no longer need to be slave to that single aspect.
My future wife is going to be the girl of my dreams and I won’t settle for anything less.
TL;DR: Had a chance to go on a date with a Denver Broncos cheerleader. Realized how self-centered and boring she was and called it off. NoFap has taught me how much more there is to girls than looks and that I deserve a girl who can truly be my better half, not just attractive.