So these last 80 days have totally changed my views and thinking with women. Along with a more spiritual life of meditation/yoga I’m living from such a happy and loving place now. A lot of that has to do with Nofap too. I don’t see women as just a sexual box to stick my dick into anymore. If one is to approach me I no longer just stare with an open empty mouth going “durrrrr”. I am witty, spontaneous, humorous , and have this child like careless free attitude about me and am much more open.
Now here’s where things get interesting. I was hanging out with my two best friends last night, one of whom I went to the strip club with the week before. And while my other friend forgot something up at the apartment he brought it up while we were chillin near the car. And I explain how I had such a good time (first time) but wouldn’t do it again because I have begun to over sexualize women, put them on a pedestal and have regressed back to that non charming, non witty idiot who just thinks, “duhhh woman, me want fuck”.
But he didn’t get it and was asking all types of strange questions regarding how I view women and I could tell it was leading to a question of my sexuality. Which Im not gay but I simply don’t say I’m not either. I follow my heart and go where it takes me when it comes to attraction. And so far I’ve only been attracted to women. In fact, I couldn’t ever see myself with a man in a sexual relationship. But I could tell my friends line of questioning was going in this direction.
One question he asked me for example was, “Wait, so when you see a woman you don’t see a vagina?” Or “So you view women like you view men?” And I was so baffled by his questions I didn’t know how to respond. It was such a low leveled form of questioning to me. Before this conversation ended, my other friend came back so I didn’t really explain to him about nofap, YBOP, and all that stuff.
But then it hit me. Have I grown that much in just 80 days of nofap? I go to school away from my friends so they don’t see me but every once and a while but I feel so different from them. Like I’ve grown into a place where I see women as my counterparts and not just sexual objects. (Strip clubs are the same as porn in my eyes now. It regressed my progress a little bit, especially with the eye contact, I felt shameful) I want to form real bonded connections with and not to not just use them as a body bag to stick my pipe into.
So my question to you guys is this: have you ever been on this journey and felt like you now need new friends? New friends with a more positive, healthy outlook on women?
Keep a journal. It’s all about the lifestyle changes. Taoism has helped me too. Find what works for you. You create your happiness and it starts with living in the moment since that’s all we got. Besides, I have failed, screamed, cried, swore, contemplated death, all of that before I got to where I’m at. It’s a long process to get through your demons but there’s light at the end. Did I mention meditate?
TL;DR one of my best friends thinks I’m gay now cause I don’t want to go to the strip club again and my views with women have drastically changed for the better on nofap. I’ve also grown emotionally and spiritually and now live in a very fun loving space. And now I feel like I need new friends with a better, healthier, outlook on life and women since I feel like I’ve surpassed them in that way
I’m recently 22, and symptoms to start nofap were pied and realizing that after watching porn every night to go to bed and sleep since 13 just fucked me up socially
LINK – Day 80 + strange story