This is in no way an outlet to brag, but an affirmation of what is possible with NoFap. I’m a semi-active Tinderer. If you’re busy or you’re in a new city like me that it can be OK for practicing your game.
[But] before I continue, I just wanna say that Tinder should overall be avoided as you have to deal with a lot of BS as a guy and time on Tinder is time away from meeting girls IRL.
But anyway, I was wondering why even though I have taken better pictures and improved my bio and graduated college and have a successful job and getting more matches, why I wasn’t as successful as I had been once. I had been more successful when I was a poor college student with shittier pictures and shittier bio and shittier hygiene/fashion sense. It was such an obvious fact and it took me too long to realize: the last time I had been successful on Tinder, I had actively participated in NoFap for about 6 months my senior year.
Without disclosing details (you can PM me if you want them but I don’t want to put details because I really don’t want to make this into a contest), I was more successful in this department in the 6 months I actively participated in NoFap then the entire 21 years of my life prior.
I was content so I decided to get off the wagon(on the wagon?) and stop NoFap towards midterms and Finals of my last semester to focus because NoFap made me wild (more on this later). Also, I got a girlfriend (more on this later) so it wasn’t completely necessary always. Now fast forward to 2 months after our break-up (amicable) and I haven’t gotten laid and I’m in a new city and I’m horny as fuck. Well what’s a poor boy to do?
I stopped masturbating. I was stressed being in a new city and starting a new job so I was doing it 3x a day easily. It was stress-relieving but I had lost all energy and was sort of a vegetable (a consistent, somewhat focused vegetable bout a soulless vegetable, more on this later.) This was when I saw the correlation of why I was successful before and I wasn’t now. It was just a hunch at this point but hindsight shows I was right.
So, without going too much into details, I can safely say I’ve had more sex in the last 2 weekends than I had in the 2 months prior. It’s great.
Disclaimer about sex Yes, I follow rules 1 and 2. At least, in real life I do. On tinder I might as well be a 5 though, so I DO have to put the work in, as evidenced by my dry bouts. 5/100 girls will message me first; 1/100 will solicit me for sex (not bots); and of the remaining 94/100 girls, I’ll be lucky to go out with 10 of them. And yes I have already put the work in towards being educated, caring about fashion and hygiene, and having hobbies and some game. I am still a somewhat down to earth, introverted, stoic, normal dude with his own insecurities and inhibitions but I try to not let these get in the way when it comes to women as much as possible. Also, no I have not been settling for girls. The distribution of these tinder girls is about normal: 80% girls who look like their pictures and I was attracted to; 10% girls way out of my league, and 10% girls who looked way better on tinder and I did have to be a little less superficial/picky than I’d like.
AT WORK This one I can keep more concise, but basically when talking to coworkers, I’m less scared to ask my boss/coworkers for help, less scared to voice my opinion, more eager to give a good idea, a little more quick in my wit when we’re making playful jabs at each other, and can hold eye contact just a little bit better (I’ve always been bad at this unless i’m drunk, and I still am, but just a little bit better.) I just feel like when I talk to my coworkers, they’re a little more interested to hear what I have to say now; whether it be in a casual setting or a business setting.
ENERGY This one is interesting because it has many dimensions to it and unexpected applications. Yes I walk a little faster and am more eager to get to places. When I am walking around with my team I notice that if I don’t put the brakes on I’ll walk half a block ahead of them by accident because my inner engine is running so high. You know how sometimes when you want something from the fridge or need to get the remote you won’t do it? Well now I do it. I’ll go straight back to the couch when I’m done with the little task, but I do it. Do I get out of bed earlier? Haha it depends, sometimes I’m so horny when I wake up that I just lay around for half hour having sex fantasies haha so not really. Although I have been using Sleep Cycle (the alarm clock that monitors your sleep cycles) and I have been able to get out of bed earlier thanks to it. I’ve yet to work out but even if I did fap, I feel that eating enough and sleeping enough will carry significantly more weight there than NoFap, but we’ll see. Also, I have relatively low body fat and I get really cold easily, but instead of shying away from the cold I’ll just think “Bring it on!” and walk faster or do jumping jacks or something.
In general, I’ve always been a wiry person with NEAT but now I often feel like I had one too many cups of coffee. I need an outlet for this energy, so I’m gonna get back into lifting ASAP and I’m even going hiking tomorrow(well today technically). I’ve always wanted to go hiking but I’ve never been hiking before, and NoFap gave me a little more drive to make this happen!
RELATIONSHIPS I did end up getting a girlfriend through this. It wasn’t my intention but I ended up finding a girl I really liked where I could give a few months of my life to her. I don’t think I would have found her if I had not put myself out there. I don’t think NoFap had any applications to the relationship itself though. I suppose I would enjoy the sex better.
I haven’t seen a lot of people talking about this but with NoFap, if I don’t have sex for as little as a couple days sometimes, I go into Caveman mode and NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. Maybe it’s just me and my naturally high sex drive, but it’s very effective if you want to get rid of all inhibitions, say fuck it, and chase some tail. But when I’m at work the urge to do a couple swipe rights or message some girls or flirt with some girls in another department is too strong sometimes and I have to lock my phone in my filing cabinet. This goes hand in hand with being able to communicate with my male coworkers in a more confident, non-sexual manner, but I still need to control this at work. When I wasn’t doing NoFap I was very focused though, so I might have to do a hybrid technique during the week, or find a consistent FWB I can see 2-3 times a week.
I’m writing this as introspection and looking back at what the last 2 weeks have been for me. I feel like the Incredible Hulk right now. I have unparalleled strength but if I don’t control it I will only end up hurting myself. But it’s the fire that a young, 22 year old man should feel and I will take the occasional reckless mistakes I make with the more common, magnanimous feats that I am now capable of. I merely wonder what life would have been like through my adolescent years if I had more closely followed the sage advice of NoFap, but now I focus on my life ahead with my new found drive…
Nah but seriously get your hands off your wiener and stop fapping!