I started at a time when I was about four months into living with my girlfriend in a city we didn’t know, with a job I wasn’t sure I liked, and with almost no friends around me. I felt like I had really little control over what my life looked like.
I sought out NoFap to change what I felt were some really unhealthy habits toward women, but cutting out PMO also gave me the discipline and motivation and time to reevaluate everything else that felt wrong about my life and fix it.
There were times when NoFap seemed too good to be true, a placebo of little consequence that distracted me the bigger picture, more difficult stuff in life. At other times I blamed NoFap because I was moody and I felt like shit.
But eventually–maybe two weeks ago–I started to realize how many positive habits I’d built in the past few months. And stopping PMO is just one of many–I don’t think I’ve seriously felt compelled to do that in the last month or more.
Instead, it’s about never missing more than one day of going to the gym. It’s about reading those books piled on my nightstand. It’s about working my ass off at the office to produce good work and find things to love about what I do. It’s about initiating conversations with coworkers and reconnecting with old acquaintances and saying yes to as many opportunities as possible to go meet people, see the city, and find a life away from my laptop and my apartment.
And while I’m proud to make it to 90 days PMO-free, I don’t feel that accomplished, because I understand now that the work I’m doing to better all of myself takes a lot longer than 90 days. This is a lifelong endeavor, and it’s only just begun.
I reckon I was in eighth grade or so when I first started with PMO and I’m 22 now. It really began to feel like a problem over the last couple years–being in college and then leaving college helped me see 1) how much time I’d wasted in front of my screen and 2) how unhealthy my attitudes and behaviors were toward a lot of the smart, beautiful women I was surrounded by during that time. I’d heard of NoFap before, but without getting too far into the details, it was actually a trip back to campus and a rough night at a house party that convinced me to quit PMO.
As far as the GF goes–she’s been great about it and stopped masturbating in solidarity. Sex-wise, she appreciates that DE isn’t an issue anymore. Emotions and personality-wise, she thinks I’m generally more open and confident and less prone to bouts of anger and depression. She seems pretty happy with the results overall.
LINK – I made it to 90.