Age 22 – Many benefits, but farther to go

A bit of background info. I’m a 22 year old male. Been on NoFap since Oct 2014. My longest streaks have been 70 days hardmode and 95 days. But I don’t really count the latter because it involved a lot of edging.

In between, I’ve had tons of relapses and streaks going up to 10 days or 30 days.

Some benefits – Clearer Skin -Deeper Voice – A lot more random people striking up converations with me – Women get a lot more shy around me. This is a very subtle change but it’s there. – Increase in T levels. This is crucial. Lifting weights helps. Try to maintain a diet which supports your T levels. Also cut out on sugar as much as possible and stick with foods that have a lot of Cholesterol – Greater awareness on what’s going on around me – Performing a lot better at work – I have my down days, but I feel happier on a lot more days with a feeling that I can conquer the world and do anything! – I learnt from all my relapses – It gets easier. Now I just recognise the urges in my mind. Acknowledge them and just shift my focus. – Increase in willpower

Things I need to work on: Like I said this is the start of a long process. I don’t have any superpowers but

  • I need to get out of my comfort zone
  • Although I still have a lot of anxiety socially, I’m a hell of a lot better than I was
  • Maintain eye contact
  • Stay Disciplined. Lately I’ve been slacking by not working out so the urges are creeping in
  • Stop trying to get validation from women and putting them on a pedestal.
  • Stop caring what other people think.
  • Make the effort to speak to people and communicate! I’m struggling with this but I’ll get there eventually!
  • Stop Browsing mindlessly – I noticed that after I came home from work one night, I didn’t have time to go onto the PC or do any browsing. I went straight to bed. The next day I felt incredible and could definitely relate to some superpower posts I’ve seen on here. I think personally, this could be one reason why people don’t experience any superpowers. They may replace PMO with something else like gaming, social media, browsing which can deter your progress a little.
  • Stop viewing women in real life as sex objects! Although I have no desire to watch porn, women in real life have become much more desirable. Like the other day I got into an elevator with an attractive woman and I started getting all sorts of crazy thoughts. Once I can get past this stage, I think I’ll be able to communicate and connect with them much better.

And that’s it! I’ll have to post another update in another 90 days or something.

Anyway, this morning I had a dream. Funny that it happens today of all days. I was in a college like setting and there was a really attractive woman who was teaching. I wouldn’t pay attention to her but some other guy who wasn’t really good looking was. I also held back on making a move on her. Long story short, she ended up getting with the ugly dude. This is just a dream but I woke up infuriated! I was pissed! But then I realised something.. I’ve been doing this my whole life! Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something! Not only have a failed to make a move on women out of fear, but other things as well!

To be honest, these 90 days are just the start. But this time around, quitting PMO was so simple! I hardly had any strong urges. I have a theory on why this is and how you can apply it. Months before this current streak I would edge for a long time! Sometimes for a couple of days before relapsing! If you want to relapse then just get it over and done with quickly. The same goes with watching porn. try to avoid opening multiple tabs or staring at a scene for too long. Find a scene and get it over and done with quickly.

Now some people may find that advice to be terrible, but when I started doing this, I was doing less damage and this probably contributed a lot to why this streak all of a sudden got so much easier. I’ve been on hardmode since. Haven’t had the urge to look at porn at all and I’m feeling a lot better. This may work for some people and may not work for others. This is just my perspective, but this is like taking a drug and then halving the dose every month or so. Maybe not the best analogy but I think you guys know what I mean.

I was PMOing for such a long time. I’ve never had a relationship, or even kissed a girl. Despite being told that I’m good looking. I’ve always been awkward and socially anxious. But this is slowly changing. It’s a LONG process and 90 days definitely isn’t enough.

Tl;dr – Things got better, but still have a lot of stuff to work on. 90 days isn’t enough

LINK – 90 DAYS! My tips and perspective [Long Post]

by ac786


UPDATE – Half a year! Hardmode report from someone who had/has extreme Social Anxiety. AMA

It’s been an interesting year. I don’t even know where to begin! It honestly gets easier guys!

Well let’s start with a bit of background info. I recently turned 23 and I work 5 days a week and study and attend university (postgraduate course which I’ll be doing for 2 years) so I’ve been very occupied! Because of this, the urges have been kept at bay. I think the biggest difference between now and day 90 is that I can look behind why I get a crazy urge, and the root cause is usually some sort of feeling inadequate and unfulfilled. But this feeling is RARE and usually doesn’t last more than 5 mins. I kind of feel like I’ve been in a very long flatline, but that’s fine because I embrace it and it forces me to look deep into myself so I can become the greatest version of myself (as Elliot Hulse always says).

Okay, so now before we move onto the benefits, I have to say that I personally have a HUGE uphill climb and I’m not where I want to be. I feel like I need to go at least 1 more year hardmore. I’ve read some stories on here about how some people were in a flatline for over a year, and I think I’m one of those people. I’m not interested in having sex for the time being. Maybe after a year.

Okay so now onto benefits. They are all pretty much sound similar because they’re related to social anxiety and just getting out of your comfort zone:

-Improved social anxiety – I had the worst social anxiety imaginable. Like for example, if I was walking down a campus (back in my undergraduate days), and I saw someone I was acquainted with, I would walk a different route to get to class so I avoid the conversation altogether. (pathetic, I know), I also sucked at talking to girls. It’s actually embarrassing and as a result I had never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl DESPITE being told that I’m good looking by more than one girl! (not bragging, just saying what I’ve been told). I was also used by my female friends for emotional vomit and was not assertive at all. They used me and I had no self worth. I still don’t have a girlfriend but to be honest I’m not needy now. I’m just being myself and if the right girl comes along, then great. But if not, I’m not worried. I have more self love 🙂

Anyway, my SA has been reduced! I don’t look at women as sexual objects. I am more confident around them and this is a huge step for me. I’m not 100% there yet, but I’ve made huge progress and I know this will get better. I still need to work on maintaining a good conversation, and projecting my voice but I feel like I’m already there, hence why I said earlier that I needed more than a year of hardmode.

  • Much more focussed on studying – prior to NoFap if I could not understand something during my studies, I would say to myself “screw it, I can go over this when the course is over before exams.” I obviously did that for more than one thing, but now If I don’t understand something, I keep going over it until I get it! It doesn’t matter how long it takes! So you can say that I’m more self driven and determined to get stuff done.
  • Deeper voice – This is common with long streaks. But, that being said, I still need to work on maintaining it because there are times where I speak in a high pitch sound intentionally, which sounds strange, but yeah.. This will improve over time.
  • Female attention – I’m no cassanova. But I certainly feel like there’s some sort of aura around me that women can sense. its VERY subtle at the moment, but it’s there. The other day, I was standing outside my friend’s class (lets call her S whom I know for a very long time) waiting for her and recent girl that I met (lets call her Z). While I was outside another girl was speaking to me and was touching my arm a lot. The new girl I had met (Z) saw this contact and got a little jealous and started to speak to S about me and enquiring as to whether or not I’m single. She thought that the girl outside touching my arm was dating me lol.
  • Forcing myself out of my comfort zone – This hasn’t been easy, but I’m forcing myself on doing public speaking, socialising with new people which seem normal to some people but for me this is all completely new and I still have a lot of work to do. Again, my social skills and speaking are getting better but they’re still far from where I want to be. I’m going to force myself to speak to and make friends with everyone in my class so I get more comfortable.
  • More Alpha like – I was with my new friends I met at university the other day, and some random dude decided to join our conversation, which is fine and all but he said something very sly to me which kind of got underneath my skin. He basically thought he could subtly exert his dominance over me around others. But I SUBTLY showed this asshole who’s boss and he backed down after. I can’t really go into detail on how I did this. It’s not something I can put into words lol. But I understand social dynamics better and how to adapt to situations. Let’s just leave it at that.

I also have this strong desire just to be the most dominant in general! And be the best at what I do. I’m not the type of person that backs down now.

So that’s covered almost everything I guess. Feel free to ask me anything. My writing wasn’t great here because my thoughts are all over the place at the moment lol.

tl;dr – Social anxiety is better. But need to go for more than a year to really change myself for the better.