I did it. I fucking did it. [Background] Started PMO when I was in 7th grade, I still remember the first time when I discovered this “amazing” thing. Going through middle school to college, I have faced obscure issues such as brain fog, social anxiety, mediocracy with the ladies and gentlemen, low self-esteem, and a low drive in life.
I’ve always wondered why, and simply thought it was a part of growing up: I thought masturbating was okay since why not, everyone does it right?
Until I found out about NoFap when was 20. Now, 8 years of addiction, brought me into a stage where I knew something was wrong and coming upon this forum including MyBrainOnPorn, reading all the posts, it seemed to click and make sense. I gave it a try and instantly knew that PMO was the problem. Starting PMO once a week to 2 to even 3 times daily at some points in my life, I realized I had drained myself of the success I could have had. I became quite the very average person and was quite comfortable with being so. I went to college, had a circle of friends, a social life, had a girlfriend at one point, was moderately healthy, however, it was just the same for many years, into high school and into college.
As my addiction continued, my life started to seem mediocre. I was complacent in my classes and life. I was okay with my B’s and C’s and was drifting through college, taking everyday for granted (as I see now). I couldn’t connect well with friends even though I had many. I wasn’t great with girls but some how got a girlfriend. I treated my 2 years long relationship girlfriend quite poorly even though I knew I loved her. I exercised moderately, however, binged alcohol, smoked cigarettes and vaped and was willing to try any instant gratification related goodies (drugs & flings) in college. I thought I was having “fun” and quite “happy” but at some point I knew something wasn’t right. After my girlfriend broke up with me and looking at where my life was at, given all the opportunities I could have taken, I knew something absolutely had to change.
I started NoFap July 2016. Starting off, it was absolutely the hardest thing possible. Imagine having an 8 year addiciton with cigarettes but having unlimited supply of cigarettes in the reach, and while walking around everywhere, people offers free samples, on top of the idea that all your friends smoke. Isn’t that what PMO is? We’ve got this addiction, but we got an unlimited supply of P in the computer and internet we virtually use everyday, we have this overly sexualized world in advertisements, in TV, in the shows we watch, and it is seemingly okay to be exposed of and then PMO since 90 fucking something whatever % of males do, right?
In the year and several months I have been attempting NoFap, I had many relapses. There’s been countless of times where I have resetted my counter. I started off with 2-3 day streaks, did that 10 times, moved on to 7 day streaks, did that 3 times, then 21 day streaks, did that X amount of times, then finally had enough and achieved 90 days. This number is just a number, I don’t think much about it at this point. Nonetheless, every streak I had I was unbelievably proud of it, but at the same time disappointed about, however, never once did I say fuck this, I’m going back to PMO.
During this 90 day streak, there were MANY stages I had to deal with such as absolutely horrible days with overthinking and frustration as well as the infamous flat lines, however, sitting down today typing, I realized that the benefits have really worked in its way towards my success.
I am so much healthier and stronger, physically, mentally, spiritually, and socially today. In ONE year:
- Confidence skyrocketed, minimal social anxiety
- Fear of rejection is at its lowest
- Willingness to go out has been much higher
- Willingess to talk to strangers + girls have become fun
- I cold shower morning and night daily, with some hot showers just cause I can 🙂
- I push almost twice the weights I do in the gym a year ago.
- I got 3 job offers, and accepted a 3.3k/monthly paying job
- Finished 2 books, from finishing none in my whole life
- I meditate almost daily, with 47 hours total of meditation in the past year
- Pretty much have a tidy room everyday
- Staying at home alone has been quite relaxing without the thought of PMO
- Pushed away negative friends and lost a couple with no regret
- Working on my personal website and on the path to building my own business
- Gratefulness in life and presence in life has become quite fulfilling
- Situations that use to anger me, doesn’t quite anger me anymore
- I have no regrets at the end of the day
I don’t say this to impress you, but I say this to impress upon you, that someone like me who had an addiction for almost a decade doing multiple PMO on the daily, can also overcome this mountain. The list can go on, but all in all, I don’t see PMO as an obstacle anymore, I have started looking ahead and looking for my next challenge at around day 70. I’ve asked myself how can I make X amount each month or how do I get to this weight with X% bmi, how do I have great social encounters with X amount of people, how can I connect better with this person, etc. 365 days of NoFap is already set in my mind unconciously. There’s just so much to be excited for life. I can’t even get myself to PMO if I had to at this point. I remember before when I could easily just done it without a second thought but now, I could peek and be like fuck that, because there’s just so much drive I’d lose if I were to. It’s simply not an option anymore, its almost like driving my car into an ocean.
My two cents: “If we look up instead of straight ahead, we could lose our routing”. There’s so many advice out there that it kinda piles on our knowledge and we end up not knowing which one to follow. Follow this one. Treat every day as day 1. Take one step at a time day by day. Keep yourself busy with shit you know you need to do, sleep, wake up, repeat. The faith you have to have is that you WILL make it, even if you fail, that you WILL make it. It might take many attempts, but the voice inside your head should always preach “I WILL make it and I WILL become better”, even if its a bad fucking day. Become the man or woman inside you and achieve the seemingly “impossible” dreams. I’ve never thought I could achieve any one of my goals I have achieved today. But I did just 3x times that.
Here I am, writing this on my 22nd birthday, after work, alone in my house, and I am perfectly okay and happy with it, because I know what is coming ahead will be the best days I will ever live.
LINK – Huge Smile on my face.