I am 400 days porn free and feel better than I ever have before. I used to have stone-cold PIED, and it is markedly improved. I’ve ditched so much dead weight by not letting myself watch porn all the time and I can now enjoy the things that I am supposed to be able to.
It has gotten easier and easier to control myself as time has gone on, and I can confidently say that my libido and interest in sex is 10x stronger than it was when I was watching porn. I just want to bring up some important points that I think will help some of you.
1) Porn and sex are not the same thing
2) You need to unplug from your phones, computers, and TVs and go outside instead.
Live a little. Be a human. Get some sun. I discovered through some blood work I had for unrelated issues that I was extremely low on vitamin D, which (for those of you interested in the scientific aspect of all of this) impacts testosterone production and neutrotransmitter activity. Do the math. I’m not saying porn directly causes vitamin D deficiency, that would be silly. Porn causes you to stay inside, making it hard to get sun, which is the main contributor to vitamin D production in our bodies. See the link? All that time you spend inside watching porn keeps you away from the most positive energy source we as humans have. Not to mention it kills your productivity. I couldn’t believe how much my sex drive improved after I started going on the occasional walk in the fresh air. Fill your time up with productive things, and you won’t have any time to watch porn at all.
3) Stop thinking about porn, the problems you got from porn, Your Brain On Porn, and anything that comes from a friggin’ computer.
Again, stop with the internet. You can search for info about all of this for months, read stories, look at studies, and it will eat up your brain. Instead of being obsessed with porn, you will become obsessed with recovering from porn, which can be just as bad. Trust me, I was there once too.
4) It is all a choice.
This will piss some people off, but it’s the truth. It really is. I understand the “addiction” train of thought, but in the end it is still a choice. If you are truly addicted to anything, it can certainly make choices SO hard to make that things appear to be forced on you. It may appear that the sources of your problems are external, but they still are not. Are you an alcoholic? You drink because that is how you choose to deal with your stress. You get to a point where it becomes stressful in itself to NOT deal with stress that way, but you led yourself down that path. I’m not going to argue the scientific merits of different forms of addiction. My point is, you can, at the end of the day, choose to not watch porn. Maybe you need someone else to control your electronic media use. Maybe you need to set up a porn blocker (I’ll get to that later). But, you can CHOOSE to do something. You really can. Spend 8 hours outside, away from electronics, if that’s what you need to do. Force yourself to. Make the choice. If you do, change will come.
5) Porn robs you of your motivation to seek out things you truly enjoy, including real sex.
This is something I think about all the time that keeps me motivated, and it is very simple. Porn is a never-ending supply of sex to your brain, and we are in trouble because it’s free. Sex is one of the biggest motivators to the animal brain (sorry to go the science route again). We are wired to succeed in creating children. Sexual gratification is one of nature’s biggest lures to do so. So if you teach your brain that you can have sex anytime you want (with your computer screen), why would it be motivated to seek it out? That’s where you lose your sex drive. There needs to be a balance. Supply and demand, if you will. You truly have a limited supply of mental, sexual fuel. We have driven ourselves to a state of constant depletion. You need to teach your brain to wait for real sex until it is available, then it will want it, and that’s when you get your sex drive back and PIED goes away. This goes back to not feeding your brain images of women from your phone, computer, or TV. Just don’t do it. Don’t give your brain what it wants all the time.
*One thing that has helped me immensely is installing a porn blocker. I have no affiliations with them, but I use METAcert. Donate to them, look them up, and use it. It does not substitute you choosing to not watch porn, but it can save you from doing something you think will be harmless, as well as keeping you from accidentally seeing something when you do need to be surfing the web.
Please ask questions if you have them. I was miserable when I had PIED and I want to help those who are where I used to be. My sex drive is back, my sex life is healthy, and I am so happy that I changed my life. Not to sound cheesy, but YOU CAN DO IT TOO! You just have to want it!
BY – vikingrage1207
EARLIER POST – Re: Topic for long flatliners
I’m 22, started watching porn at 12 or 13, which escalated to my worst stage by 16 when I would surf 60-90 minutes at a time, edging and looking for porn. Discovered YBOP in 2012 (2 years ago), made failed attempts to stop watching and stop masturbating, despite having girlfriends (at one point, I fell completely back into how I used to be for a 2-3 month stretch during those 2 years, watching every day). Strangely, libido was slightly higher while watching porn than it is now, so was able to have sex, albeit lack-luster sex, when I used to watch porn. Really started sticking with it during the beginning of the year. Relapsed once after probably 100-110 days, and the relapse was not a binge, it was shorter than one of my “normal sessions.”
As I type, I’m just a few days short of 180 days no-PMO. During this streak, I’ve been able to have sex….probably 10-12. Current flatline is 31 days long and counting. Had sex with my fiancée, whom I live with, 5 times in 4 days RIGHT before my flatline started because I was so glad my libido was back (maybe the “sex binge” is what did me in this time).
I really wish I was just able to get an erection just from making out with her. That’s how it was a month ago and then suddenly it just went away. To be like that is my goal, even if I only got to have sex once or twice a week. My current plan (that her and I both discussed) is to abstain from sex until the end of the year and then see how I feel. I’m not even assuming I’ll be able to have sex until then, so I’m not putting any pressure on myself.