Today marks 185 days no PMO. There is so much I can report on, but I’d like to be as concise as possible (however I have a habit of rambling). The main reason why I would like to write a report is to give my perspective on NoFap which may in turn motivate others, and document how I feel in case I ever want to relapse.
A quick background: I’m 22, and recent college grad. I found NoFap in April 2013. Growing up, I would say I had pretty average PMO habits for the modern male teenager. Sometimes I would fap 3+ times a day, sometimes I would fap once every few days. It never quite got out of hand for me, and I never really saw it as a major issue. In 2013 I had a few short streaks, followed by a long 150 day streak. Since then, I’ve had probably three or four 90+ day streaks. Generally speaking, I believe in NoFap and I rarely PMOed for long periods of time once I found it.
What’s worked for me: I strongly believe that NoFap is not a magic bullet. It will not cure all your problems, erase your depression, or magically get you a girlfriend. However, I feel like it DOES give you a pretty big edge. I don’t know why, and I’m not going to spat bro-psychology or reference any studies on testosterone or semen retention. This post is anecdotal. That being said, NoFap has been effective for me in combination with
1. A steady weight lifting habit, 3-5 days per week
2. Minimum 7 hours sleep per night
3. Minimum 20 minutes mindfulness meditation per day
4. Limiting your media consumption (video games, netflix whatever)
5. Limiting how much you drink or do drugs
6. Cold showers
Basically, just fucking take care of yourself. Have respect for yourself, love yourself. And if you don’t, fake it. If you hate who you are or the things you do, fake it. Power through that. Address the issues in your life and take action. Look in the mirror and smile at yourself.
Here are some benefits I’ve had in this specific streak:
-Less depressed in general, mood is stable. Yes, I have off days- everyone does. However, I am generally a happy person and not everyone can say that.
-Social anxiety. I feel like I act more congruent with who I am. I don’t really care what people think as much about me. If I make a shitty joke or I mispronounce a word or ask a stupid question- it doesn’t quite embarrass me like it used to.
-Relationships with women. I started dating a girl I had a huge crush on about 60ish days into my streak. I had a HUGE crush on her. But, I asked her out and we dated for a while. I had to end things with her a few weeks back because I’m moving across the country for a job and things weren’t really going anywhere between. Great girl, but not for me in a long term sense. My female coworkers and I have a great relationship. Flirting happens yes, but I don’t over think it.
-Got an internship for the summer and now a full time job when I move back up north. Can’t say this is directly because of NoFap but it probably gave me a bit more pep in interviews and such.
-Got in the best shape I’ve ever been in. I started lifting weights pretty seriously about 3 years ago. I bulked for waaay too long and got a little soft. I really committed to cutting down and for the first time in a while have been hovering slightly above or below 10% B.F.
-Motivated- for the first time I’m pursuing a hobby outside of the gym and meditation and actually seeing REAL progress. Every night after work I draw from the moment I put my bag down until I go to bed. I grew up drawing, went to art school, but never committed to really learning shading/value/realism. Each drawing I see progress.
-And then all the generic NoFap stuff, eye contact, deeper voice, more assertive etc.
One thing I really want to stress is that NoFap is hard. Anyone out there who is struggling to make a week or two weeks or one month- pat yourself on the back for just simply trying. The fact that you’re here, reading this post and on NoFap forums means you want change. And you’ll probably get it. Just commit. Write down a list of 3 things you want in your life one year from now and the second your feet hit the floor every morning make it your fucking mission to manifest those 3 things. On my desk I have a post it note I wrote in May with 3 things.
- Paint a realistic portrait of myself (getting there!)
- Run a half marathon (dropping the ball on this one, only doing cardio once a week but still lifting weights)
- Have a job I love. (haven’t started at the new place yet but fingers crossed I’ll love it.)
Anyway, I’m going to wrap up here.
If you can take anything from this, here’s my 2 cents on all this NoFap stuff.
NoFap is definitely a great tool to give you an edge, you can have everything you want in life if you go out and get it. 90% of what I read on this forum, although well-intentioned, is broscience.
There’s no doubt that a pornography habit is harmful for the psyche, it causes divorce, depression, unrealistic views on women. That’s common sense.
EARLIER POST – I’m 22. In 2013 I decided to ‘just try it out’. I watch YBOP and surfed NoFap forums. I liked how I felt and kept going. Whenever I relapsed I noticed a marked difference in my general well being. I have probably PMO’ed 50 times in the past 3 years. This is one of my long streaks however (138 days).
I will share a few benefits that have come from this. I’d also like to share that I’ve been practicing NoFap since 2013, so it has taken me a while to ‘get good at this’.
-Stepped up my gym game, lowered body fat and got in the best shape of my life
-I’m dating an awesome girl now.
-Much more driven, motivated
-Less reactive, calmer, and able to control my emotions
-Social anxiety is nearly gone. Talking to men and women alike is no big deal. I don’t pedestalize pretty girls and get all awkward when talking to them.
My life isn’t perfect. NoFap is not a magic bullet. But it’s a great tool for self-improvement, perhaps the best I’ve come across. Supplement this other healthy habits and it will change your life. Remember that relapses are apart of the process. Set small goals. Take it week by week.
I’ve never really experienced ED. Except after too much alcohol. I wasn’t a hardcore user and found NoFap when I was 19, so I guess in that regard I was lucky. I have zero issue getting it up.
I have experienced lots of benefits. Some directly related with NoFap, most related to the ‘big picture’ and healthy habits in general. Stay tuned for a report. My life has changed a lot.