I don’t post here but I do browse occasionally and thought I would give you my story. I am a 23 year old male who has given up porn. I never fell into the niche/weird fetishes of porn, just a daily user since middle school who grew up with porn.
For the past year, maybe year and a half, I had been halfheartedly attempting to stop fapping and watching porn. I watched YBOP and many other sources and I knew I was doing the right thing but could never commit. I went through short streaks of abstaining with longer streaks of porn marathons and fapping. I was spiraling into depression and kept beating myself up everytime I tried to stop because I eventually failed again.
I hadn’t dated in a few years. Complacent with my digital love kept me from meeting people and dating. My romantic life was reduced to ashes, I had no drive to date or have sex with real girls. I decided to try Tinder a few months ago and I went out with a few girls and one in particular held my interest and we went out a couple more times. As the night escalated we were in her bedroom taking clothes off but I had no response from my penis. We made out a little longer yet nothing happened. She was hurt and emotional, thinking that she wasn’t pretty enough or good enough. The situation was a mess and I spent the night with her, the next morning we tried again with the same result. I was so disheartened and emotionally wrecked. I knew that my porn habits had caused this and I vowed to never let this become a problem for me again. The ED not only embarrassed myself, but also hurt this gorgeous, sweet girl whom I found attractive and fun.
This girl continued talking to me and we went out again. I was grateful that she gave me a second chance and I was able to perform in the bedroom. But over the next couple weeks the ED would come back sporadically. I eventually sat her down and explained my problem with porn and my journey in overcoming it. She was surprised but understanding.
Over the next couple of months we grew closer and my problem with ED faded away. But this process is far from complete.
I still have dreams about watching porn. Not frequently but they are strong when I have them.
I have had one recent occurrence of ED which was discouraging but I am glad to have this girl with me during all of this. She is incredibly supportive and is proud of me for taking on my problem with porn.
I have grown so much over the past 90 days. I am learning so much about myself and others. Compassion and love are real emotions for me and no longer do I associate them with definitions.
Thanks for reading and good luck to all!