I’m 23 and I was exposed to porn at the ripe age of 7. In 1999 I was always on the computer and due to my unsupervised use of the Internet. I found porn by accident and was hooked ever since. 16 years of addiction. I was viewing porn on the daily. It would get me hard and I loved watching the ladies on the screen.
I had no idea why the feeling was so good at the time even though I couldn’t MO. I still remember very vividly. When the AOL trial would run out I would find ways to obtain more trials.
When I hit puberty I was finally able to MO. That’s when my addiction hit a new level. I would spend hours on the computer figuring out the best time to PMO. Fast forward to the end of high school where me and my former-gf were living together for 2 years in my parents’ basement.
She would always catch my Web history. This turned my relationship with her upside down and i was becoming a negative and depressed individual. Didn’t know what I had until she decided to leave me a year later. I don’t blame her, I would have left myself in her shoes. I was soso nasty to her. I had a bit of a cocaine addiction at the time as well which didn’t help. I’m clean now.
She had left me for someone else she met while in pursuing her studies, and for the longest time I felt inferior but angry.. I’m happy for her now but the feeling of regret comes back every now and then. I do miss her but I cut contact off with her about a year or 2 after splitting, because at the time thoughts of her would ruin my mental state. I do have reoccurring dreams involving her which I think is a by-product of cutting contact with her. Not sure whether I should give her a text or not as it’s been a while.
tl;dr Discovered porn at 7 y/o, went through a bad breakup at 21. Fast forward 2.5 years later I now have my own apartment, income and I’m pursuing my entrepreneurial dreams.
Discovered nofap 2 months ago and my life has changed BIG time ever since. I had problems in my life, but didn’t know that PMO was the root of them. Now I take cold showers, hit the gym, read a whole lot more and I can say that I’m a whole lot happier (despite the reoccurring dreams with my ex). The looks I get from girls have either exponentially multiplied OR I have only just started to notice them looking at me now.
Wishing I had stopped PMO in high school. I had always wondered why I would get more anxious, depressed and Moody waaay more often than my peers.
If you’re reading this and struggling with PMO don’t give up. It was extremely hard for me at first but it gets easier overtime.
Changes since Nofap HardMode (Day 46, 1 reset at day 30 ):
- Waaay more confidence
- Improved posture
- More energy
- More motivation
- Better sleep
- More focus
- Better mood regulation
- Higher level of self control
- More smiling
- Love all around!
- More attention from females than I’ve ever had before(or just started noticing, I prefer the former)
- Increased positivity
- Increased productivity
- Waaay more witty and open with people
- Absolutely NO Fucks given!!
- Weight Loss (lost 5 pounds since starting)
- Creative AF!
- Proud of myself and others around me(up lifting euphoria)
- Dramatically reduced alcohol and drug intake (less urge to “crutch” myself)
- More control of my life and the ability to steer the direction it’s going in.
- Way more health orientated
- Ability to develop more meaningful relationships with people I meet
- No shame, no guilty and little anxiety/depression (it gets better everyday!)
- Influx of income (could be coincidence)
- Huge spike in self esteem!
I could go on and on. I know by PMO-ing/relapsing these traits would slowly topple over each other like domino’s.
If you think it’s hard to quit PMO, put yourself in my shoes that were at it since age 7. If I can do it, anyone can.. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been INCREDIBLY overwhelming resisting something that my brain has been addicted to for 16 years. I just keep thinking of the positives from abstinence and the repercussions of how much I’ve lost over the years due to PMO.
Initially I wasn’t going to post this but if this post can inspire at least one person to keep going then it was worth writing this all out.
Goodluck to all on your journey!