I don’t know how to put into words how proud I am to be able to write this.. You guys better upvote this to make it worth my while haha. I am 23yo M black guy. (from the UK if you really care?). If you want to know my back story check out my previous posts but the long story short is that I’ve been fapping with porn since I was 11/12.
I was never a daily user due to my living situation. But it was a habit nonetheless. I began trying yo curb my pmo habit at 16, before I actually even knew about NOFAP, and from then til now it was one big struggle. For those of you starting now, just picture that. I FAILED FOR 7 YEARS BEFORE GETTING WHERE I AM TODAY. .. So don’t quit. Please don’t quit. Don’t listen to those who constantly will tell you that porn is normal or can be part of a healthy relationship especially when you watch together, NO way! For soo many reasons!
I will start with the things you need to know.
If you follow these simple two tips I guarantee you will stop fapping today.
- Change your mindset today. List and understand why porn is bad and hate it with a vengeance. Some of you won’t understand but if there is any seed of fondness or value for porn it Will germinate again in the future.
- Develop a mantra, along the lines of… [insert name] does not watch porn under ANY circumstances. I would rather fail or lose or be bored or supressed or repressed than watch porn. (this I key because over the course of the year you are going to have sooo many urges or temptation or motivators to fap . each one is different. But none are sufficient. Quick example. I used to fap when under stress with a deadline. I couldn’t walk away from the laptop cos I needed it so I would fap to clear my mind of porn and regain focus on my work. I got radical, and decided I would rather fail my hand in and leave the laptop well alone and also stay well away from porn.)
There are other points those are most key.
Decisionmadetoday is a poster on here who always talks about how we must find out what the root of the problem is and how nofap alone is not enough to heal the wounds of old and he’s right.
I realized my root is a craving for intimacy and connection stemming from deep self dissatisfaction, low self esteem, and poor family connections. Those are the roots. I don’t believe there’s anything further there. Or any thing weird.
I’ve found the root but how to heal that I’m not so sure. One can’t simply say: I must show more love to myself as a mantra. And hey presto here comes the love.. So I’ll have to watch that space and see how it progresses.
Benefits a key part people always ask about!!
Well I wouldn’t say I received superpowers cos we know that is a figment of our imagination lol, rather I would say that my life was less constricted by my sex drive.
I got more female attention, two girls tried to get me to go out with them, but I resisted cos I didn’t want to get into a relationship and replace PMO with a selfish over attachment to a person. So I said I will wait a year then see what is what.
- Extremely vivid dreams including cyclical wet dreams. Some were horrific, but as time progressed I was having emissions without any sexual content. Sometimes I would have a dream about being angry and BOOM, or another time I completed a task well and … BOOM..
- I had extreme clarity of thought and able to formulate ideas, very quick, which helped with my studies, work etc. I managed to think of a few new business ideas which I hope fake forward once I’ve finished my qualifications. The clarity of thought helped me as I attempted to take on the stock market with CFD’s. I developed a sort of strategy, which worked on my first trade. Then I got greedy and it all fell to pieces. Able to read body language really well to the point where it feels sometimes like people are moving in slow motion. I sometimes have really detailed thoughts whilst somehow managing to listen.
- Weight gain at the gym as a result of more focused workouts, got myself a trainee and smashed some stuff up!!
- Overall sense of ease, balance and equilibrium.
- Found time to Volunteer in community and help at a local workshop for underprivileged children.
I am going to stop my counter now. I don’t need to keep looking haha. I will come back. Every now and again hopefully with little frequency. To give advice and maintain the community
That said I still have so much to do.
- I need to read more. I need to desperately male more discipline to make time for reading and studying. I already do read but its not focused.
- The discipline also would give me a consistent bed time and wake up time.
- I need to solidify and make More male friends, I’ve never had like a wolf pack and atm most of my friends are women which i now see is an imbalance. I just don’t relate well with guys for some reason. Our conversation always seems so stilted. The male friends I have seem a bit loner-ish like me. I don’t play sport or have an interest in football so that’s a big block I feel. Someone once suggested taking up a martial art, but then even in the socializing I don’t drink so again that’s a bit of a block to quality bonding. Any tips on the male friends thing would be greatly appreciated.
- I’ve gained a really good habit in journaling. Which I often reflect on in times of great struggle. I never really come here when I have a massive urge – I just flip open my old journals and read about how I felt after my last relapse. I reflect on the scriptures that aided me, or forbid me from the act of PMO. I also reflect on the goals I had set and the gifts I promised myself. For a successful completion of the task. (I had promised myself a medical facial to help clear up the spots that have remained despite the nofap regime)
I want to go forward and fight big beasts. And live a life that l am with, not falling into the mistakes of my fathers etc.
People, I tell you truly (on a random side note), Never be locked in to the systems of the world. The higher echelons of power want to keep you locked into materialism and the pursuit of money. A lavish lifestyle if you will. Money is a construct. That’s clear to see if you do even just a little research. At its base level there are no problems with it, it is simply that the more you have the more you chase. If you make a lot through your passion, great, but think about how you are stewarding it. People with just a little bit of money think of themselves as elevated above the homeless man or even a low wage worker. As soon as you start thinking that you are on a slippery slope.
Peace out people – and if you have any questions PLEASE do ask!
tl:dr (increase your attention span and read.)
LINK – 365 DAYS FAP FREE!