My friends, please take the time to read below. I feel as if many of you may benefit from the insight I hope to provide. The desire for intimacy, for a relationship, and of course sex, are all natural – its what makes us human. As a 23 year old who is yet to hold hands with a woman, to kiss a woman, let alone have sex with a woman,
I too, feel the intensity of my desires daily, much like a lot of you.
For a long time I felt like an outcast, like an alien, like there was something intrinsically wrong with me. My mindset, however, has completely changed since starting my journey on NoFap – I am a charismatic, intelligent, beautiful, and powerful individual who is waiting for the right person – not the first person. If it takes the whole of my entire life, I would rather continue working on myself and searching for the right person, as opposed to, having meaningless sex for the sake of doing the act with someone who doesn’t love me.
My addiction to porn and masturbation began when I was 13. Growing up in a strict quasi-religious household meant that sexual interaction was a taboo. Despite this, my parents were very supportive and fantastic role models.
I went through the usual process of vanilla pornography, onto darker things a lot of you couldn’t even imagine – I wont get into this, but pornography is truly a deep black hole that pulls you in further and further, chasing a artificial high, perpetuated by falseness and a lack of love.
Through therapy, NoFap, and continued self development and growth – I finally understand and fully grasp the common statement that is thrown upon me concerning women – Focus on yourself.
It’s easy to disregard such a statement – Shouldn’t I be out there actively looking for a girlfriend? The idea is not to close yourself off from the world, the idea is to focus on bettering yourself in all aspects of your life whilst keeping an open mind to the prospect of future love. Be open to meet new people, whoever they may be. Do things you love, go to the gym, learn that new language, just try and believe me you will enjoy expanding the horizon of your life.
I don’t know how to put it into words – but self development, cutting off poisons from your life like porn, and having a more compassionate and optimistic outlook upon life…has the effect of opening doors and bringing people into your life. You will develop a gravitational pull and your smile will brighten the day of others.
1 hour ago I was in the gym and there is an older woman who trains there every day. Despite the anxiety and fear, I walked up to her and said that I admire her commitment – it made her smile and say thank you. Happiness is only real when shared.
Modern day society makes those who lack sexual experience feel like they aren’t worthy, like they have missed out upon something. Do not, and I repeat, do not allow this mindset to sink into your consciousness. You are a treasure, regardless of whether or not you have had sex.
This is life – this is it. The clock and its ticking hands cannot be stopped. Before you know it, you will be in your final days. Take this time to live your life – to do what you love and I guarantee you, as the smile starts to grow upon your face, the confidence starts to build up, and the anxiety is no more – she will walk into your life as a co-pilot in this beautiful journey.